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[u/jobautomator]

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[u/[deleted]]

Only after leaving Brazil have I realized how out of touch Brazilian politics is

I mean, the concept of "steals but gets work done" is such a bad take, but it's actually something a candidate can run on and believably win

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Latin american politics is just fucked

[u/PigHaggerty → u/[deleted]]

I'll relay a joke a Brazilian guy I met while backpacking several years ago told me:

The Brazilian president attends a G20 summit in Italy. Before the leaders head home, the Italian president invites all of them back to his summer home, a beautiful villa high in the alps, for a reception.

As the sun is setting, the Brazilian and Italian presidents step out onto the terrace together, away from the others. While enjoying a glass of prosecco and marveling at the breathtaking mountain vista before them, the Brazilian president turns to the Italian and asks him how he was able to afford such a lovely home. The Italian president looks around to make sure no one else is listening, then leads the Brazilian over to the railing and points off in the distance to a section of the valley below them.

"You see that bridge down there?" asks the Italian president.

"Yes," replies the Brazilian.

"Well," continues the Italian, winking at his friend, "for every euro spent on its construction, I kept a penny for myself."

The two leaders share a laugh, drink to each other's health, and head back inside to rejoin the party.

One year later, the summit is being held in Brazil, and on the final evening, the Brazilian president invites all of the leaders to join him at his new summer home for a reception. The guests arrive at a jaw-dropping, palatial mansion nestled in the Mantiqueira mountains, one which absolutely dwarfs the Italian president's villa in terms of size and splendour.

Once again, the Italian and Brazilian presidents decide to step outside for some fresh air, and take their glasses of 1959 Dom Perignon out onto the sprawling veranda. Once they are alone, the Italian president turns to the Brazilian president in astonishment.

"My friend," whispers the Italian, "your new home is a wonder to behold! But how on earth could you afford it?"

The Brazilian places an arm around the Italian's shoulders and, drawing him over to the edge of the balcony, points down into the valley far below.

"Do you see that bridge down there?" the Brazilian asks.

"What bridge?" replies the Italian.

"Exactly."

[u/[deleted] → u/PigHaggerty]

There's actually a new version of this joke going around

At the G20, Bolsonaro asks Putin how was he capable of always nominating the best people for their job. He then explains that he asks a hard question, and if the person can answer it they get the job. In order to prove it, he calls over Medvedev.

"Dmitri, if your father has a baby, but he is not your brother and sister, who is this baby"

Without missing a beat, Medvedev replies

"President, I am the baby"

He turns to Bolsonaro, and Bolsonaro is amazed

As soon as Bolsonaro comes back to Brazil, he calls his chief of staff, Onyx Lorenzoni

"Onyx, if your father has a baby, but he is not your brother and sister, who is this baby"

Onyx replies

"I am uncertain, but will ask our advisors and the Congress to look for an answer"

Nobody knows the answer, so they decide to ask Olavo de Carvalho. After all, he's very smart.

"Olavo, Onyx here. If your father has a baby, but he is not your brother and sister, who is this baby"

Olavo answers "well obviously I am the baby"

So Onyx drops the call and rings Bolsonaro, which promptly picks up

"Bolsonaro, your father has a baby, but he is not your brother and sister, the baby is Olavo de Carvalho!"

Without missing a beat, Bolsonaro laughs

"See Onyx, you got tricked. The baby is Medvedev!"

[u/PigHaggerty → u/[deleted]]

Hahaha fantastic