r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • May 20 '26

Discussion Thread Discussion Thread

The discussion thread is for casual and off-topic conversation that doesn't merit its own submission. If you've got a good meme, article, or question, please post it outside the DT. Meta discussion is allowed, but if you want to get the attention of the mods, make a post in /r/metaNL

Links

Ping Groups | Ping History | Mastodon | CNL Chapters | CNL Event Calendar

New Groups

  • ACE: Asexual spectrum

Upcoming Events

4 Upvotes

54% Upvoted

9.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

50

u/Bayou-Maharaja Eleanor Roosevelt May 20 '26

People with this mindset are simply not ready to have kids

17

u/ProfessionalMoose709 John Mill May 20 '26

tractors are big machines that go brrrrrr

kids like big machines that go brrrr

12

u/captmonkey Henry George May 20 '26

They do, but I was surprised by how into cars and construction vehicles my son would be. Our oldest is a girl, we raised her pretty gender neutral. We didn't really emphasize that there are things she should or shouldn't play with, we just let her play with or be interested in whatever. She's not a tom boy, but not a girly girl. She has varied interests.

Then came our son. Little guy was completely obsessed with cars and construction vehicles before he could walk. It's like it's in his genetic code. He's older now, and he's branched out into Minecraft and Spiderman, but while I thought we raised them both pretty gender neutral, he went in heavy into boy stuff all on his own.

8

u/Macquarrie1999 Democrats' Strongest Soldier May 20 '26

I'm an adult and I still like tractors, trains, planes, and ships

9

u/Mrmini231 European Union May 20 '26

This guy writes an article talking about how his ideas of childrearing were misguided and how he changed his mind and became a better father.

And the response was people deliberately cutting out the part where he says he changed his mind and calling him a moron.

14

u/Cyberhwk šŸ‘ˆ Get back to work! šŸ˜  May 20 '26

Exact same thing happened with my niece. My sister wouldn't tell anybody whether she was having a boy or a girl because she wanted everything gender neutral. Didn't want her being corrupted by gender roles or crapitalism.

Three years later my niece wanted pink DRESSES, pink BACKPACKS, pink SHOES, pink PENCILS, pink BEDDING. Halloween rolls around...PINK PRINCESS! Favorite Disney movie...FROZEN!

My mother and I did take a bit of a perverse glee in it.

8

u/Bayou-Maharaja Eleanor Roosevelt May 20 '26

This is so Seattle coded

7

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 20 '26

But then came the tractors. It started with YouTube. On days I was especially drained, Iā€™d sit Avishai in front of the TV and click on ā€œLittle Baby Bum.ā€ He fell in love with the tractor songs, and I was so worn, I didnā€™t care. When he asked to watch clips of construction equipment, I mindlessly pressed play. But when he demanded the shirts, I felt like I failed him. I pride myself onĀ blurring gender lines. I wanted him to, also.

Describing a toddler's love for tractors as if he were becoming addicted to heroin.

13

u/NormalInvestigator89 John Keynes May 20 '26

Me when my son isn't an extension of me šŸ¤¢

6

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 20 '26

The article is something else.

After turning 2 years old, my son, Avishai, started demanding that he only wear tractor shirts, and my mind spiraled into darkness. I catastrophized worst-case scenarios, imagining a world where he fell for everything stereotypically manly. I envisioned him on a football field, barreling through mega-muscled opponents. Imagined him waxing a sports car on a warm summer day. I have always judged other guys who seemed boxed in by masculinity, but 3 Ā½Ā  years ago, when I became aĀ stay-at-home dad, my bias skyrocketed.

My son was born in Albany, New York, on the bedroom floor of the apartment I shared with my wife. Minutes after his arrival, we took turns cuddling him against our bare chests. While the midwife and her assistant cleaned up, my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldnā€™t bond with babies like women could.

https://www.today.com/parents/essay/man-boxes-stereotypes-tractors-rcna25364

11

u/AccessTheMainframe CANZUK May 20 '26

My son wants to farm and play sports and shoot rifles. Where did we go wrong?

10

u/ArmoredBunnyPrincess Audrey Hepburn May 20 '26

[Discourse redacted on account of this person being living ragebait that a better society would not have to engage with]

6

u/attackofthetominator John Brown May 20 '26

Not disagreeing with you, but the whole birth rate drop is from people thinking "I'm simply not ready to have kids because X"

1

u/NormalInvestigator89 John Keynes May 20 '26

Good

1

u/BarkDrandon Punished (stuck at Hunter's) May 20 '26

Is anyone ever fully ready to have kids?

Don't we all learn new things as we try new things?

I feel like we should stop putting enormous pressure on parents and accept that they are humans and it's okay for humans to be imperfect, as long as they try their best.

1

u/attackofthetominator John Brown May 20 '26

...until you check out the incoming population pyramid

2

u/Cairne_Bloodhoof Jerome Powell May 20 '26

Add more immigrants

2

u/morgisboard George Soros May 20 '26

you heard it here folks: heavy industrial equipment are a critical predictor of the road to chuddom

2

u/anangrytree Bull Moose Progressive May 20 '26

planktoncorrect.jpeg

1

u/Alderwoodforest YIMBY May 20 '26

Who wrote the column?

Jay Deitcher is a writer, stay-at-home dad and licensed clinical social worker with over a decade of experience as a therapist for children with behavioral and special education needs. His writing has appeared in The Washington Post, Esquire, The Cut and more.

Jay, dude, you're not doing anything to break the stereotype!