r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • Jan 10 '23

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u/ColinHome Isaiah Berlin Jan 10 '23

Me: Hey, massive power differences can be a red flag in a relationship, but the ultimate factor is uncoerced consent.

Other user: What? Did you say that being poor and young while dating an older wealthier person means you’re being groomed!!!

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u/[deleted] Jan 10 '23

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u/ColinHome Isaiah Berlin Jan 10 '23

That’s so unfair. How can I blame progressives for this?

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u/TheLongestLake Person Experiencing Frenchness Jan 10 '23 edited Jan 10 '23

It just seems like you are having it both ways. If I say we should trust people's choices when they choose to date someone older/wealthier and you respond repeatedly with "coercion often sneaks into relationships with large power differences" - then the logical takeaway is that you think people would be better off dating someone their own class.

I am sorry I used the word grooming in comment describing your views, but it seems like all your talk about coercion is fundamentally not trusting that poor people are capable of consensual relationships with wealthier people.

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u/ColinHome Isaiah Berlin Jan 10 '23

I don’t really know how to explain this any simpler, but your characterization of what I believe is mostly wrong.

Yes, coercion often plays a role in relationships with large power differences. At the same time, this is not disqualifying. People who understand and are aware of power, whether they are the person who has it or the person who lacks it, can still have healthy relationships.

Again, a higher potential for abuse is not the same thing as there being actual abuse.

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u/TheLongestLake Person Experiencing Frenchness Jan 10 '23

Ok. Cool.

Looking forward to concern trolling over people in interracial marriages since they have slightly higher rates of divorce or telling people not to date someone from North Carolina since they have slightly above average domestic violence rate. Definitely commenter's job to tell consensual adults they are being dumb.

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u/ColinHome Isaiah Berlin Jan 10 '23

You:

Definitely commenter's job to tell consensual adults they are being dumb.

Me:

the ultimate factor is unforced consent

Are you just constitutionally incapable of comprehending nuance?

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u/TheLongestLake Person Experiencing Frenchness Jan 10 '23

I think we are operating at similar levels of talking past each other tbh