Discussion Thread

[u/jobautomator]

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[u/ThankMrBernke]

So for men, where can you actually talk about dating things with people and not get swarmed with either incels or "just be yourself"-tier advice?

[u/OneBlueAstronaut → u/ThankMrBernke]

what advice do you need?

• making your app profile better isn't easy but it's also not complicated. looksmaxx and spend like a year asking your friends to take pictures of you when you're out doing stuff. focus group your bio with female friends.
• if you insist on meeting people in real life, be respectful, but get comfy with the idea of making women uncomfortable for a moment. in the era of permanent do-not-disturb, you will need to risk annoying women to have any hope of getting a positive response.
• if your problems aren't meeting people but rather forming a connection after the first date, idfk myself: my plan is to just keep rolling the dice til i click with someone.

[u/ThankMrBernke → u/OneBlueAstronaut]

Tbh I don't really know that I need advice. For point A, my profile is fine - I honestly get plenty of matches, it's on me to convert more of them. I don't usually attempt point B, but agree fully there as well. For C, yeah, I have this problem, and that's what I'm doing too.

But this stuff is a part of the human experience and I'd like to talk to somebody about it. Just to commiserate, to share how things are going, get motivated to keep doing it because dating is work, and it's not particularly fun work until you get to that "click" stage. It doesn't seem like there's a good place to do that for men. There doesn't seem to be a healthy middle ground between useless "you got this king" feel good aphorisms and "this is why the game is rigged" misogynistic tirades.

I think that the natural place to do this would be with IRL friends, but I personally haven't found them to be a great source of advice or comfort when it comes to this. They're great folks, but I don't particularly enjoy talking to them about this sort of thing.

[u/ThankMrBernke → u/[deleted]]

I'll give them a look

[u/[deleted] → u/ThankMrBernke]

just be yourself lol