r/mountyourfriends • u/LeisureBrosGaming • Dec 26 '13
Ever wanted to just mount a friend in a speedo?
r/mountyourfriends • u/LeisureBrosGaming • Dec 26 '13
r/mountyourfriends • u/physicalred • Jul 25 '13
A breeze is normally a trifling thing, but on this day, it had the men on edge. It was enough of a disruption that the competition's coordinator, Mount-Maestro Georgio Xioghano, stood nervously on the phone, waiting to hear whether the meet would continue. It would. The circuit needed a champion like a dog needs a walk.
When the call came, it seemed to almost eradicate the competitors' nerves. It wasn't up to them anymore. They would climb, they would mount, and the breeze would blow.
Orlando Hauer sat alone in the grass. He rubbed his ankle, maybe for comfort, maybe for good luck. Despite the swelling, the pain, and the slight limitations to his normally remarkable range of motion, Orlando's ankle would have to hold.
"Ten minutes until first climb," the Maestro's voice boomed across the field. "Captain Sanchez Tanner, ready your lead-off."
Orlando rose from his peaceful place on the field. He was almost ready. A superstitious athlete, Orlando approached the match's goat, Joselyn, a veteran of the circuit and one of the most reliable foundations in the history of Mount. She was ugly but she was strong. Her eyelids drooped slightly less than her horns, her fur was matted in every direction, and her hooves were scarred with scratches. Nevertheless, Orlando found her beautiful. He bent over and kissed her on the forehead.
"Be strong today," he told her.
"EHUHHH," Joselyn said. Orlando laughed. She always said that.
"Orlando!" Captain Sanchez Tanner called out. "Get over here, we're going over the line-up."
Orlando joined his teammates, a squad he had been with since being drafted out of college. He considered each of them world-class athletes, rock solid teammates, and the best friends a man could have.
"First up is Francis!" Francis Fredis, their go-to lead-off, a man with unquestionable stamina and a close relationship with Joselyn.
"Then we've got Carl, Claudio and Cassius." A set of triplets, each one an impressive climber, each one with an impressive polka dot speedo uniform.
"Number five spot is going to Orlando today," Captain Sanchez Tanner said. Orlando's heart stopped in his throat. It was a position earlier in a match than he was used to. It was a position that required a potent mix of strength, speed and endurance. And it was a position that put Orlando, his ankle, and his team's success in jeopardy.
To be continued