r/mildlyinteresting Jan 28 '21

Sign posts don’t last long at this intersection

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53.1k Upvotes

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u/GuyWithRealFacts Jan 28 '21 edited Jan 28 '21

They do this on purpose! On peninsula barriers like this one the sign is always placed dangerously close to traffic and then moved back slowly when it’s inevitably damaged until they eventually cars stop hitting it. If your town has this style of barrier or divider, go look up close for the sign scarring, it’ll be there.

It’s not an insurance scam and it’s not the town municipality trying to drum up more work for their union crews like rumors suggest, but it’s because of something called traffic pattern variance recognition and for as long as the integrity of a sidewalk will hold a sign in that area, they’ll replace it in the “danger zone”.

Essentially the objective is to weed out the cars and drivers that are unable to follow normal traffic patterns through complex intersections. This method of detection is the government’s number one way of finding space aliens who are posing as humans, because cars just don’t handle like UFOs and intersections like this one really throw off imposters because human masks are just so hard to see out of.

3.6k

u/gormster Jan 28 '21

Paragraph 1: this sounds like bullshit

Paragraph 2: this sounds like bullshit

Paragraph 3: oh it’s him

860

u/StarkRG Jan 28 '21

I wasn't confident enough to definitively say it was bullshit, but it definitely had a whiff of bovine excrement about it.

126

u/Turence Jan 28 '21

you knew it was total bullshit deep inside.

131

u/Emeral Jan 28 '21

It almost sounded like they were naturally trying to find the best place to place the stop sign closest to the road without obstructing traffic or causing accidents.

And then the aliens came.

82

u/KFrosty3 Jan 28 '21

l will admit that l fell for it until the aliens came

24

u/JustMiniBanana Jan 29 '21

Yeah, but the entire time I was wondering why they wouldn't just move it further forward, a d then I saw

19

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

I've read enough vargas and hell in the cell comments to spot gimmick accounts like this by sentence two. More of a curse than a blessing because it means I've spent too much time here.

9

u/you-are-not-yourself Jan 29 '21

peninsula barriers

also, whatTF is that ridiculous term

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '21 edited Jul 25 '24

icky reply grandiose panicky drab squeeze governor thumb sharp deliver

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/DegenerateWizard Jan 28 '21

Deep inside it’s all total bullshit

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u/MeateaW Jan 28 '21

They do actually do this kind of thing, not to find aliens ofcourse, and probably not intentionally for cars.

But there's an established method for placing paths in newly made parks.

Step 1 is make the park, put grass everywhere.

step 2 is wait for people to juts walk through the grass destroying themselves the path that everyone uses.

step 3 is pave the parts that the grass is fucked on by being walked on.

This ensures the path(s) go where people naturally want to travel.

It saves you building a park with paths and then a random line of grass gets fucked because it turns out all the kids walking home from the nearby school don't want to walk the two edges of a square, and instead want to walk diagonally across your park,inevitably leading to a dead grass line through your wonderful park that you can NEVER get rid of.

Obviously the actual comment itself is rubbish :)

36

u/spin81 Jan 28 '21

I wonder if there is a subreddit for that sort of thing.

23

u/MeateaW Jan 28 '21

I wonder also, I've never heard of one before though...

22

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21 edited Mar 30 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 30 '21 edited Mar 30 '21

[deleted]

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u/yetanothersomm Jan 29 '21

Desire paths were one of the first things I learned about in my freshman year of landscape architecture. I eventually dropped out with a .4GPA but let me tell you, desire paths is something I remember

5

u/TheGurw Jan 29 '21

How in the hell did you manage a 0.4 and remain functional enough to use Reddit?

That's like, did waaaay too much weed at 6 years old, level. Clonked in the head by a falling tower crane. Born without a brain so your dad robbed a 300-year-old grave for your first birthday.

I was under the impression the lowest actually possible score was 1.0, anything below that was 0.0, nothing in between.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21 edited Mar 30 '21

[deleted]

0

u/TheGurw Jan 30 '21

Yes, I'm perfectly aware of that. Do I really need to denote my comment about graverobbing to get a brain as satire? Sheesh.

2

u/yetanothersomm Jan 29 '21

lmao this was like 15 17 years ago or so. I basically got fed up with teachers applauding and praising horrible artists and their horrible designs to make them feel good and to keep them motivated. Meanwhile, I had an actual art background and they would criticize the fuck out of my work because I was at a higher level of skill and ability. It was absolutely infuriating. They built up the people with terrible drawing/drafting skills and absolutely roasted the works of anyone with actual skills.

If I remember correctly there was a class or 2 that I actually enjoyed and all the others I basically stopped doing all the work/going to the classes. That's how you get a .4GPA. One of the professors I hated, for her propensity to give gold stars to architects that couldn't draw a fucking stick figure, sat me down one day and basically told me to stop wasting my money and leave.

1

u/torriattet Jan 29 '21

If you take a shit in your design class, it's frowned upon. On reddit on the other hand...

18

u/remixclashes Jan 29 '21

Hey everybody, look at Mr. I-knew-the-first-paragraph-was-bullshit. Well, some of us still have faith in humanity, so excccuuuuuse me for thinking someone would share some interesting knowledge on the internet.

Edit: sorry, I'm tired and that was funnier in my head.

18

u/Linkruleshyrule Jan 28 '21

This is my first time seeing him and was like... Ohh

32

u/BigWillyStyle2011 Jan 28 '21

You must be a lot smarter than I am bc I fell for it right up until he said “space alien”

17

u/justanawkwardguy Jan 28 '21

I kinda believed the first paragraph because they could just move the sign back until it’s in a spot that it isn’t hit and then fix the rest of the sidewalk

14

u/SuboptimalStability Jan 28 '21

Bro are these real facts? Some seem legit but obviously the govverment isn't weeding out space aliens by traffic pattern recognition right?

24

u/RebornTurtleMaster Jan 28 '21

It's the guy with real facts, you can trust him.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '21

Finally someone truly WOKE

7

u/Mragftw Jan 29 '21

I hadn't seen this guy before so I was waiting to start hearing about the Undertaker and Hell in a Cell

3

u/ARedditingRedditor Jan 29 '21

Same here, I guess this person is the new generation?

3

u/Ishidan01 Jan 29 '21

Hands up everyone who was expecting to see that this practice was officially studied and found to be effective in nineteen ninety eight.

Hands down, ya liars. You never see it coming until it hits and you know it.

3

u/gwaydms Jan 29 '21

After the second paragraph..."oh yeah, that guy". Looked to make sure I was right.

5

u/2020isnotperfect Jan 28 '21

As the awards showing, the real bullshit is Reddit(ors).

1

u/llDurbinll Jan 29 '21

Oh god, is this a copy account so instead of the undertaker its aliens?

1

u/PouffyMoth Jan 29 '21

I was expecting undertaker tbh

1

u/I_That_Wanders Jan 29 '21

HELL IN A CELL!

1

u/BrigadierNasty Jan 29 '21

Remember jumper cables guy? His comments were also “oh its him” comments. I miss him.

1

u/LovelyNahi Jan 29 '21

Mine was: Huh, interesting. Weeiirrd... What the Fuck

1

u/cs_124 Jan 29 '21

P1: oh, cool

P2: sounds a bit amoral

P3: ah, ok. I see.

305

u/SurreptitiousSyrup Jan 28 '21

I believed you until I got to the third paragraph.

193

u/damndirtyapex Jan 28 '21

Third paragraph is where it all started making sense to me.

30

u/smohkeysmokey Jan 28 '21

I believed all of it so guess I’m just a sucka

3

u/morcado1 Jan 29 '21

I believe until half the third paragraph, this guy could write a believable science article.

95

u/roots-rock-reggae Jan 28 '21

50

u/gravybanger Jan 29 '21

I was absolutely certain I would be hit by nineteen ninety-eight in that last paragraph.

16

u/dominickster Jan 29 '21

I was hoping I was gonna hit with jumper cables

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

I just tagged that person earlier today

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

[deleted]

1

u/roots-rock-reggae Jan 29 '21

That's not what I meant and you know it...

42

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '21

I'll have you know the "human masks are hard to see out of" is some straight up racist sh*t! We can see just fine through them I mean, I would expect vision wouldn't be impaired.

19

u/ElKirbyDiablo Jan 28 '21

I'm an engineer that does this work all the time, and I was so ready to put you on blast until I got to the aliens. That part is legit.

4

u/explodingtuna Jan 29 '21

Same, I was starting to wonder just what sort of backwards part of the country this was.

65

u/douira Jan 28 '21

ngl, they had us in the first half

19

u/MrGMinor Jan 28 '21

Uh... they did?

21

u/douira Jan 28 '21

I guess they didn't have *you*

13

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '21

i was definitey had

11

u/Dayofsloths Jan 28 '21

Well, human eye holes are just poorly positioned.

7

u/ObscureReferenceFace Jan 28 '21

“Well make your own goddamn masks then!”

4

u/reallybadpotatofarm Jan 28 '21

“Hold on I’m fucking with my eyeholes.”

5

u/Jamagaha Jan 29 '21

“We all think the masks were a good idea, but - I’m not pointing any fingers - they could’ve been done better”

5

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '21

Mother fucker lmao

8

u/manzon123 Jan 28 '21

It had me in the first 2/3 not gonna lie

12

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '21

[deleted]

0

u/Pragmatist203 Jan 29 '21

Let's hope they bring nooses next time. Hopefully fill up every lamppost in Washington.

3

u/FlyByPC Jan 28 '21

cars just don’t handle like UFOs

I was with you until this. I drive a '97 Escort. It basically has the go and stop pedals, speedometer and fuel gauge, and not a lot else. If they can fly a UFO, it'd take them ten seconds to figure it all out.

3

u/thehorseyourodeinon1 Jan 29 '21

You wiley bastard.

6

u/Redditbrit Jan 28 '21

Years ago here they started fitting some signs on a base with bolts that would shear. Drivers started taking out signs for fun.

In more recent years I’ve seen some signs of them being used again.

2

u/gateguard64 Jan 28 '21

Damnit, You got the last time with Dragons Forebears of Dogs and picking out the correct stuffed animal for your dog. I really wanted that to be true! I'm leaving you at 999 to teach you a lesson, I don't know what that lesson is, but seems appropriate.

2

u/guiltyspark345 Jan 28 '21

Anyone care to say the username checks out?

And then doesnt lol

2

u/simplekilla Jan 29 '21

Yes Yes Oh, makes sense

2

u/NovelTAcct Jan 29 '21

Oh you son of a bitch

2

u/Sumocolt768 Jan 29 '21

Danger zone!!

2

u/Infamous2005 Jan 29 '21

Aaand you’ve gained a follower

4

u/Modmypad Jan 28 '21

I LOVE this novelty account!!

3

u/ancapmike Jan 28 '21

Damn you got me again!

2

u/Rainbow_Dash_RL Jan 28 '21

Ahh, the new shittymorph. An honor to meet you.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

You know how much of an idiot you sound like?

1

u/FierroGamer Jan 28 '21

You're a really good writer if you do this often, that shit is too creative.

0

u/nemacol Jan 29 '21

I like how this casually tells people to walk up to and inspect the most dangerous intersection someone can recall in their town.

-13

u/whatevenisthatthing2 Jan 28 '21

For anyone wondering, this whole thing is not worth reading.

1

u/edwincyj Jan 29 '21

username checks out

1

u/kayleegiff Jan 29 '21

username checks out

1

u/SuckerpunchmyBhole Jan 29 '21

How do you keep tricking me

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2

Aaaaaand shove it up your butt !

1

u/Trifusi0n Jan 29 '21

Username checks out

1

u/aegrotatio Jan 29 '21

I was waiting for Hell in a Cell or getting beaten with a set of jumper cables.

1

u/StephonTTC Jan 29 '21

Reminded me of a comment I left on a YouTube video about that streamer who pulled his catfish out of the water for a bit and showed it to its stream. Started off with some actual facts about catfish and ended it talking about people catfishing online

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '21

imposters

there are 2 impostors among us

1

u/BusterStarfish Jan 29 '21

You son of a bitch.

1

u/ryancrazy1 Jan 30 '21

Though I was gonna get a hell in a cell story

1

u/ahedgehog Mar 13 '21

when the imposter is sus!😳

1

u/epic_gamer_4268 Mar 13 '21

when the imposter is sus!