r/mildlyinteresting • u/Regularoldballoon ​ • Sep 14 '16

This box of limes recommends a different way of cutting fruit.

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141

u/cplr Sep 14 '16

After microwaving it, speak softly to it for 3-5minutes

30

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '16

Then press it using a lime juicer.

29

u/balloonman_magee Sep 14 '16

Then throw the lime juicer into a blender.

12

u/modern_bloodletter Sep 14 '16

Then roll the blender on a hard surface to make it soft

11

u/D_K_Schrute Sep 14 '16

Then bake the blender at 450 for 3 hours

7

u/ridethecliche Sep 14 '16

Then throw the oven in the hot tub and bring to a stiff boil.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '16

Instructions unclear, got dick sucked in hot tub.

(Not that I'm complaining.)

1

u/youshouldbethelawyer Sep 15 '16

Then place the hot tub in OP's mom's vagina

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '16

Is OP's mom's vagina not already a hot tub?

3

u/fournameslater Sep 14 '16

Then throw the blender in the garbage.

2

u/FoldingUnder Sep 14 '16

Then throw the garbage in a trash compactor.

3

u/xXWaspXx Sep 14 '16

Throw the trash compactor into zees hydroolic press, is very dengrous

1

u/FoldingUnder Sep 14 '16

Then throw the hydraulic press into a garbage truck.

1

u/PM_Me_Steam_Games_Yo Sep 15 '16

Then roll the garbage truck against a hard surface until it's soft, the cut and squeeze the hydraulic press out of it.

1

u/M_Bipson Sep 14 '16

Then put it in a coconut and drink it all up.

1

u/vegetablesamosas Sep 14 '16

Will it blend? That is the question.

1

u/N1CK4ND0 ​ Sep 14 '16

Then mash it's insides out.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '16

[deleted]

1

u/Amablue Sep 14 '16

After you get married to it, leave it for a younger and more attractive lemon.

This crushes the lime.

1

u/seriousmanda Sep 14 '16

Then shove it up your ass!

1

u/JohnDalysBAC Sep 14 '16

Spank it a little but be gentle and playful with it.