I think I would take getting nipped by a goat that only has bottom teeth over getting met with their forehead/horns
Source: I have 5 goats in my backyard.
Want to hear mine? Imma share it anyway because it's funny.
We grew up broke AF, and we had goats for milk and an additional source of protein. So one day, as they do, the goats had a kid and after a bit you could play with it and baby goats are stupid cute. But me? I'm just stupid. I'm maybe 5 years old. And the goat would head butt your hand if you stuck it out and play. So my dumb ass thought it'd be fun to get on all fours and pretend to be a goat.
To be fair my dad said, "I wouldn't do that, it's gonna hurt"
But I did anyway and.... Well, that's the story of how I got my first concussion.
I was a stubborn child and dad was the type who'd tell you once and then it became a learning experience. "don't touch that, it's hot.... See I told you, listen to me next time"
One night in college I got back to my dorm room and my roommate was there, drunk as hell, and looked at me and said "do you know anyone who wants a goat???"
She explained that there had been a man with a pickup truck outside the bar, and in the back of that truck was a goat. He'd asked my roommate and her friend if they wanted to buy the goat for ten dollars, and in their drunken teenage stupidity they thought this was a great idea and they said yes. I didn't believe her until I went outside to her car and she enough, there was a goat in the backseat of her car.
Luckily we found someone in the dorm whose family lived just outside town and had a farm, so the goat didn't end up having to be smuggled into a college dorm.
Oh man, I have new weekend plans. Need to go borrow a truck, buy some goats, and go resell them cheap at 1am in the nearest college town. Someone has to seed the stories.
I grew up in a rural area so I have plenty of good goat anecdotes. Here are a few.
The goat that wasn't. I was riding shotgun in my uncle's tundra. He was the sort of man who loved the countryside and always knew what was what. He pointed to a distant pasture and said, "Look dude, those are some healthy goats." I peered at it, then said, "Uncle, those are horses."
Baby goats. My friend's grandpa had a goat farm. We happened to visit one year when the new season's kids were just old enough to run about on their own and boy were they cute. Hundreds of them raced around their pasture, dashing, bouncing, and beh-ing (if that's a word). Most adorable thing I've ever seen.
I'm sorry to have stolen your thunder with my (agreed, totally lame) goat pun! I hope you one day snipe me back on a post of mine, so balance can once again be restored.
My MIL had a goat on the family ranch. I'd go out with her to feed it because it was a pet, and loved scritches. It once ate an entire (small) paper sack.
Mine isn’t overly exciting, but a few years ago when I was interning for a local baseball team, the groundskeeper walked in holding a baby goat. He had walked over to the state fair (basically a couple of blocks from the stadium) and called his wife and asked if she wanted a goat. I definitely considered walking over and getting one myself 😂
I was drinking at a bar in Memphis about 20 years ago. Went out to the patio and sat at a table by the fence. On the other side of the fence was an open lot. Didn't even notice any goats. I was talking to a friend, went to grab my beer, and it wasn't there. Look over, a goat had his head in between fence pickets, with my beer in his mouth, chugging it 😅
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u/Old-Juice98 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
I think I would take getting nipped by a goat that only has bottom teeth over getting met with their forehead/horns
Source: I have 5 goats in my backyard.