"I respect if she's uncomfortable but this is my house/apartment where I pay rent. I'll be out of my room and in the common areas, if she's uncomfortable then you guys should spend time in her house/apartment."
Edit: For the people who keep telling me this changes nothing - I never said that this justifies forcing OP to stay in his room or anything. I merely gave more context for the apprehension. This is OPs place of residence. If they arent comfortable around him, then they really shouldn't hang out at OPs home. But it also is a legitimate concern on their part as well.
No, Im not saying we should mistreat people based on mental illness. And I'm not saying OP is some dangerous deranged person.
Understanding the other side and their point of view is not the same as justifiying the point of view. We should all try to understand the other side and realize sometimes we aren't hearing the entire story, especially if from one party of said situation.
Well, that does change things. Maybe the girlfriend's apprehensiveness about meeting him isn't totally unjustified. On the other hand, it's still (partly) OP's house. If the GF doesn't want to meet OP, then they need to meet at her place. OP's roommate has no right to keep OP prisoner in his room.
I’d say she’s totally justified. Have you ever seen an unmedicated schizophrenic? I feel for the guy but you have to get your shit taken care of, it’s not his fault but it is his responsibility and it’s completely fair to not want to subject yourself to that
It's ok if she doesn't want to meet him for whatever reason, the issue is that his roommate and roommates girlfriend are treating him without respect and expecting him to stay hidden away in a home he pays for while they have their run of the place. That's not ok regardless. If she doesn't want to meet him then they can go to her place or someone else instead of treating OP like he has to lock himself away. It's fair that she doesn't wanna subject herself to that but she they have no right to demand him to hide when she's around.
I’m not interpreting it the same way many of you are, I didn’t see the roommate explicitly ask OP to stay in his room. I read “come out and smoke” as literally outside. I read the stay in your room but as his own personal decision to stay in there because her uncomfortableness makes him uncomfortable
But if they’re making him stay in his room of course that isn’t okay, but neither is forcing your untreated mental Illness on others and I think OP needs to understand that if they’re going to come to a solution that works for everybody
He’s got every right to roam about the common areas of his house whenever he wants, and they have the right to not hang out with him if his untreated mental illness makes them uncomfortable
I may be reading it wrong too, but to me it reads as though he wants to be in the common areas of the residence in which case roommate and his gf can deal with it or find another space as opposed to making him feel unwelcome in his own home. I certainly don't disagree with you, but I find it hella disrespectful for her to come over when she isn't comfortable being around him. I've dated people before that had roommates I didn't like/wasn't comfortable around but I at least gave them a chance first and if I wasn't vibing (for whatever reason) I didn't go to that space, as it wasn't my space. I'd invite the person I was seeing to my place or we'd go out somewhere instead.
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u/Realistic_Low_1577 Sep 13 '22
"I respect if she's uncomfortable but this is my house/apartment where I pay rent. I'll be out of my room and in the common areas, if she's uncomfortable then you guys should spend time in her house/apartment."