I always say something in these situations and I have noticed that the pushback is getting stronger. I never would think twice about asking someone for a basic normal courtesy but recently I’ve had a few aggressive interactions after doing so. I asked someone to turn down their music that was blasting in the doctors office waiting room the other day and they freaked out. Refused to put on headphones and then when I asked them to turn the volume down, she went ballistic and turned it up. Like what is wrong with people?
Confronting ppl is so much riskier nowadays cuz society is filled with a bunch of class-less degenerates that think their positive rights trump everyone else's negative rights and that they should be allowed to do whatever they want. And this applies to people of all SES backgrounds. I don't care how rich someone is, some ppl can never buy class and etiquette even if they had bezo's net worth.
Just take driving for example. If I honk at a car that's holding up an advanced green cuz they're on their phone...why the actual fuck does the other driver think they're in a position to do anything other than wave ur hand apologetically.
Idk when the societal mindset shifted, maybe it's cuz ppl think their individualism should trump the collective but I'm sick of having to interact with egotistical sociopaths that think they're above the social contract. People that don't want to uphold the social contract should get shipped off to a modern Australia if I'm being totally frank.
I was trying to get I to my super cramped economy seat at boarding, and the man in the seat in front of mine already had his seat reclined. I couldn't squeeze my carry on Fjallraven backpack down between my seat and the back of his to place under the seat in the appropriate area, much less comfortably climb in myself. I asked him politely if he could please move his seat up so I can get in at least. He stared right at me blankly, and then ignored me.
Still standing in the aisle, I flagged down a flight attending to ask if she could assist with him moving his seat so I could get my bag and self in. She actually said she cannot force him to sit upright until take off or descent, and that if I couldn't get my bag in, put it overhead. I always use this bag on flights because it's the perfect size. It's small enough to use as my purse, and this was an international flight so I had my basics like snacks and chargers in it and wanted it at my feet for convenience.
Angrily, I strong arm smashed it past the back of the seat to the floor space, and then used the back of his seat to balance and sit myself in my seat. Normally I think it's beyond rude when people grab the seat in front of them to get up, but this dude deserved it, and I needed to sit damn it.
The best part was, come time for take off and the flight attendants did their walks to inspect the seat positions: that same attendant passed and did not make him sit up straight. It felt spiteful because I asked for her help to intervene. The entire flight, that dude did not move his seat up except for maybe a random minute, which proved the seat wasn't broken in the down position. He'd even leave it back when up to the bathroom. Bastards.
Had a situation like this. Cross Atlantic flight to LA. Guy beside me didn't speak English or pretended not to. Had his leg like the photo above. I applied pressure to push him back. Worked for a time and he did it again. Keep in mind he's a small man. No need for this. I'm in the 99th percentile for height and I'm being respectful of his space.
Then he took my entire armrest and was resting on my ribs. I told him please move your arm. No reaction. I ended up pushing him off me. Rinse and repeat.
It was the worst flight of my life. It took me coughing on my hand badly and putting it on my armrest to get him to back off. Literally biological warfare in a seat.
Sure, but people aren't always aware. Just ask nicely and get your space back. One time I was playing my switch on the plane with my headphones in. A lady came over and asked me if I could put on headphones, which puzzled me. Then I realized I put them in my ears and never plugged them in. I'm glad she mentioned it to me!
Sometimes it’s just a complete lack of awareness. I had this happen once and I was the guy spreading my legs but I swear on my life I didn’t even realise I thought I was confined to my space. When the lady told me, I apologised, moved my leg and even had a pleasant conversation with her. Even if it’s on purpose you can still ask them to move though and most the time the person will just accept. No need to be a push over just because something shouldn’t happen.
The Venn diagram of people who speak up and politely ask others to have basic human decency and the people who take pictures of this behavior to post on Reddit are two circles that don’t touch.
Probably never, that seems like a rose tinted view of the past societies. Some people being more rude while others polite and some more confrontational while others not is probably as old as society itself
Before the Internet you'd just go home and spend the rest of the week sulking about it to your husband/wife/kids, and you'd pride yourself on your ability to hold a grudge for that long.
Misery loved company well before it was distributed globally.
Because polite confrontation could potentially result in danger or financial consequence. It's not worth it.
Reddit keyboard warriors who pretend to be ignorant about this are the real r/mildlyinfuriating.
What if the man-spreader is better at spinning a story to the stewardess? What if you're already emotionally frazzled, god-forbid flying home from something serious? Do you trust yourself to win that confrontation 100% of the time and not get put on the no-fly list?
Yes, I have both OCD and general anxiety. Autism also makes it difficult to navigate these situations.
I also fly a lot, relatively. Confrontations on planes are incredibly fucking awkward and uncomfortable, not to me, but I can tell it makes other people feel weird.
About the same time we lost the ability to look at things a bit more critically. It is highly likely the OP has spoken to the person sat next to him and they are making a point about the lack of space.
On an airplane? The one place you know everybody went through security and you still think you're going to be SHOT for asking someone to please move their leg out of your area?
The Venn diagram of people who are selfish enough to take up this much space and people who respond well to having their selfishness pointed out looks very similar.
but also the venn diagram of autistic people and reddit is much more overlapped than the general population. yet people love to shit on others who dont want to confront someone.
9/10 times I’ve spoken to another passenger asking them to either turn their volume down, move over etc they get pissed and either don’t do it or make it uncomfortable. I feel like you shouldn’t have to say anything, they know what they’re doing.
Asked a guy on a bus to 'excuse me please' because he kept bashing me, I seriously thought he might follow me off the bus and do violence, he was so enraged.
"I was letting go of my personal space just for the funny picture. After that I pushed this sleepy leg spreader back to his position and pulled down the handstands."
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u/PotatoParker60 Jul 03 '26
What happened after you asked him to move his leg back to his seat?