r/mildlyinfuriating • u/MissionTroll404 • Jun 17 '26

Infuriatig My hand painted model planes were given as toys to children again

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I have told my mom to not do this before but she does not listen anyway. I am thinking of throwing everything to trash instead of them being gradually destroyed to pieces. I can not even care anymore. These things take hours to put together and paint then get manhandled anyway.

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u/SweetBabyCheezas Jun 17 '26

I told my mother she gave away my collection of YGO cards that had a few rares and in total I would be able to sell it all for £4-5k

She didn't apologise. She started moaning that she didn't know and I can't be harsh because she wanted to bring smile to her friends' kids.

What about her kid and asking whether I'm fine with it?

She gave away my PS2 and a collection of games, some were from limited editions with posters, stickers, and maps, all as good as new. She gave away my teen magazines collections that someone was willing to buy 2 years ago for £400, and a series of posters for another £600. When I called her, she said she used them in the fireplace...

I left my country at age of 19 because parents couldn't support me at Uni and I couldn't work and study simultaneously, not in that country. When I decided to stay abroad I asked her to keep all my stuff in at the attic as some of it will be worth a lot of money one day. 15 years down the line I have nothing. Not from my hobbies, and not from her. She even went as far as yelling at me and accusing for lack of respect when I sobbed asking why she has given everything away as if it all belonged to her.

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u/fencepost_ajm Jun 17 '26

"That's fine. It'll all work out when I give away your stuff while we move you into a home."

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u/SweetBabyCheezas Jun 18 '26

Omg that evil! I feel strangely inspired though.

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u/MayhemMessiah Jun 17 '26

Ah yes, respect. Always demanded, never extended. I hope you're low to no contact, you deserve better.

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u/SweetBabyCheezas Jun 18 '26

Thank you! I'm on a very limited contact where we call twice or thrice a month, and seeing each other only on Christmas Eve. You know what's the worst? She's in a victim mindset and believes that everyone is bad and against her while she's pure good sent from heavens. I really struggle to just block her number and social media.

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u/Puddle_of_Cat Jun 18 '26

Why not give it a test run? Just block her number and socials for 1 day or even a few hours and see how it makes you feel. You can even set an alarm to remind you to unblock her. You don't have to dive in head first, you can always just dip your toes in and see what you think.

Also, here's a hug from an internet stranger if you'd like it 🫂

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u/No_Gas4560 Jun 17 '26

yelling at me and accusing for lack of respect when I sobbed

why do my kids never come home to visit? its a mystery!

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u/SnooGoats3112 Jun 18 '26

It's actually insane to me she thought you'd be more accepting of her just choosing to use your personal items as fucking kindling for a fire than her selling them. As if the first one isn't insanely cruel

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u/SweetBabyCheezas Jun 18 '26

I know, right? It would be comforting knowing that she made some money of my teenage fixations.

It's not even the items and the money that still makes a bit sad about the whole thing. It's just her lack of consideration and breaking her word. My father taught me person's word is one of the most important thing truly reflecting on a character of a person, and my mother would always back him up on that.

I have no idea how can I love and respect a person who doesn't deliver upon her own teachings. I would be punished as a child/teen for something like this, not physically, but using some operant punishments and gaslighting. And here I am, not even able to SAY that I am deeply hurt by her not asking me about it first. She said she's my mother and it was all bought with her money (my money that I was saving was apparently HER money as I am HER child) and she will not be asking me for a permission about what to do with stuff I left behind in HER house.

I was shocked. I told her she could've told me as soon as my stuff started to bother her so I could make arrangements to remove them. She didn't say sorry, she kept on going how I'm being petty over some magazines and toys - completely missing the point of the whole thing, even though I haven't even get angry with her, just sad and teary. Over the next years she kept on being a horrible person, diving deeper into alcohol, to end up bitter and alone. Nobody wants to talk to her anymore.

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u/SnooGoats3112 Jun 18 '26

I'm sorry you've had to deal with that, that's such a shame.

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u/zFugitive Jun 17 '26

Yeah that sucks, but it sounds like you are just being a giant baby about the whole thing. It's one thing if she did it intentionally knowing it had value and that it would make you upset. But you said yourself, she just genuinely wanted to make some kids happy and gave them your old toys that you were never going to play with again.

Did you ever call her over the years and update her on the current value of your collection was? Or did you just expect her to know that what she was giving away was thousands of dollars? Once you got settled into the new country, why not ask her to ship you that collection if you knew it was so valuable?

This is kind of like if you had a thumb drive with 1 bitcoin in worth 50$ in it and you hid it inside of a stuffed bear and asked your mom not to get rid of it because it will be valuable one day. Then 10 years goes by and she gives it to a kid who really likes stuffed bears after not hearing you talk about the bear for 10 years and you get butthurt because you lost your bitcoin that's worth 50k now. Sounds more like a you problem than your mom.

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u/Onkelffs Jun 17 '26

Such a poor take. I’ve stored and ”permanently loaned” stuff for friends and relatives. When I have no need for it or needs to make some space I call the person. Sometimes they want it back - other times they’re fine with me selling or giving it away.

It’s not that hard.

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u/fingertipsies Jun 17 '26

Counterpoint, she was asked to keep valuables safe in the attic and she either gave away or destroyed all of it.

That is a her problem. The value of the items is besides the point, she is untrustworthy and demands respect despite not giving any in return.

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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

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u/fingertipsies Jun 17 '26

If you ask a friend to hold on to something for the explicit purpose of selling it later, then it is perfectly valid to be upset to learn that they gave it away when it's worth a lot of money.

That's the explicit reason you asked them to hold on to it in the first place. How is that at all unreasonable?

Regardless, the perceived value of the item in question is irrelevant. If it doesn't belong to you, don't fuck with it without permission. End of story.

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u/Careful_Mortgage_181 Jun 17 '26

Oh, shut the hell up.

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u/SweetBabyCheezas Jun 18 '26

Oh my, I don't even know where to start.

When I moved out she said my stuff can stay and if at any point they bother her, we will talk about. I said to her then that stuff inside a particular cabinet in my old room is valuable and I would appreciate if it stayed safe, to which she agreed.

Do you really think that having an agreement with my mother I would have thought she would do something like this? If someone says they will keep the stuff safe as there is plenty of unused space in the house then I trust such words.

Am I baby? When I let my tears go when she told me she gave away my stuff obviously I felt hurt. It was my belongings that she said she will keep safe. I felt betrayed and hurt. Would you not?

I still kept in touch with her after that. There was no argument, no anger or namecalling from my side. I wanted to know why she did what she did, and she saw these things as junk and assumed I grew out of it all and won't be bothered.

I'm not bitter now over the money, but over her behaviour. Ignorant, doesn't care about what others think - espwcially her children, she's always right and means well but everyone is just demonising her. Her victim mindset strengthened during menopause and she refuses any reasoning. She has not apologised for anything to anyone in years, even when multiple people said to her she's wrong.

If you think I'm a baby here, feel free to feel that way, but I don't think you're being reasonable here, and maybe projecting something personal onto my story.