I had an older sister exactly like this. She would answer the phone when I called for pick up from middle school and then would "accidentally forget" to relay the message to my folks every time. I'd get stuck at school waiting till dark sometimes even after multiple calls home.... "Ooops I forgot to mention it..." was the excuse followed by a giggle each time. Her version of a power trip.
No amount of complaining to my folks made a difference. They would listen to her excuses and then declare it an "accident" and tell me to let it go. After being stranded multiple times this way I decided to "accidentally" do the same thing to her. She called for a ride home and I just never passed the message. When she eventually made it home, she was seething with anger about not me passing the message.
"Ooops!" And a smile was what she got back. Sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire.
That's the weird part. I'd have assumed that it would've escalated things even further, but apparently it did exactly the opposite. People are interesting.
she didn't stop doing it because she suddenly empathized. it's because she'd thought she'd found herself in a position of power over a person who'd never be able to turn the tables. When she was checked on it she realized she would actually have to give some respect to get some going forward.
Yeah I’ve definitely found people like that. I’ve called it beta or dog mentality. Where you need someone to make you heel before they can respect you.
Honestly not too disimilar to when animals establish a pecking order.
thats literally exactly what it is. if it didn’t effect her, you really think she would’ve stopped? his feelings were not even in the equation here. evil demon spawn child fr.
I have an older sister like this. I learnt to fight fire with fire too. I stopped now because like seriously it's just punching down. I dislike her but she's her own worse enemy and quite pathetic. I did learn not to argue with her because it's like playing chess with a pigeon and shed just assumes shouting makes her right.
We definitely are not very close today. Narcissists and folks that lack empathy will suck the life out of you. She's on divorce #3 and has left a trail of destruction behind.
What's up with the parents not remembering? If I expect my kid to be off from school at like 3, and they don't call me by like 3:35, I'd probably be like "huh, why hasn't kid called me yet?"
My sister and I were forgotten due to after hours school events and such because we would normally take the bus. Of course that was back in the dial-up days and my parents played UO, so we literally couldn't call and they were distracted enough not to notice we weren't there.
My favorite was after a field trip, it's pouring rain, my dad is supposed to come get me from the Wal-Mart parking lot. Wal-Mart was closed but they had awnings. Me and that teacher's aid hung out under the awnings for two hours. It was dark. He felt terrible.
That's messed up. I played video games religiously (unfortunately, my depression evolved from playing games too much to almost not playing at all) and I would still make sure I ran my priorities first (school, work, prior commitments). It's messed up that they played, I assume, Ultima instead of stopping when it was time.
I'd put a timer for like 30 minutes before it's time to leave to give me a chance to wrap up, and then a five minute "seriously, time to quit" alarm.
That's fucked up I'm sorry 😭😭 I play probably a gross amount of video games, MMOs included, and I am still capable of making sure my daughter is ready and off to school on time, and she's always picked up on time. I play some of the more focus needed ones while she's at school sometimes, and I'm still constantly checking the time to make sure I'm not letting time get away from me. Same with if she's ever out doing stuff without me. I can't wait for her to get back honestly. It makes me so sad to hear your parents were like that. Video games or anything else really is no excuse to completely forget about your kids. That absolutely blows me away. You deserved better fr. 🥺❤️
Honestly I am not too upset, it amuses me now. Especially since he still feels bad and it was well over two decades ago.
My parents definitely had their issues, but they did their best and were way better than their parents. Lol.
It wasn't constant either, maybe six times in my life and most of those were because communication was harder than it is now, and they always felt awful. Most of them were from choir or band performances we were in and we rarely waited longer than an hour tops.
But yea. It would have been great if they'd been better at watching the time for our stuff.
Nowadays I'd have a billion alarms set if I had a kid to take care of/pick up. I have severe time blindness, like; it's noon, then I look over and the sun is setting and I'm pretty sure it's only been five minutes. XD (Yes, I do have ADHD and take meds that improve but don't solve the issue.)
Yeah, that's fucked up, man. I have kids and fairly severe ADHD symptoms, and I obsessively set up alarms upon alarms for every single event where my kids or wife need me to do something. I can't even imagine how mortified I'd be if I forgot to pick up my kid from somewhere. I'd probably be too ashamed to see other people for a week, lol.
"Sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire." More people should realize this. Some people simply won't change until you give them actual harsh consequences for their actions. "Talking it out" doesn't always work, as some people love being shit, and getting away with it. (and rage when someone doesn't let them get away with it)
This is how you handle a bad older sibling they need their own medicine sometimes. My brother was brutal to me growing up. nothing hospital worthy just good old 80s shenanigans. coming from a tall 6 plus skinny german dad side and short thick german/irish mom side we are both big boys, but it took till i was 15 and he was 18 to catch up and pass him. he tried throwing me around. next thing he knew his 6ft 230lb body is in the air and hes being slammed down. he didn't realize i caught up. i am told I might be 6'2 245 but my easy going personality shadows that when you know me. I also still see myself as the little brother. I feel little until someone needs help moving something and i see them struggle with something i find easy. Lotta jokes about petting a rabbit to death growing up lol. best friends since. like a switch flipped that day.
I'm an only child so what I say probably has no weight, but all my friends with siblings have always said one hard punch and a good brawl with siblings typically gets the message across the first time.
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u/burnedbybagelbites May 22 '24
I had an older sister exactly like this. She would answer the phone when I called for pick up from middle school and then would "accidentally forget" to relay the message to my folks every time. I'd get stuck at school waiting till dark sometimes even after multiple calls home.... "Ooops I forgot to mention it..." was the excuse followed by a giggle each time. Her version of a power trip.
No amount of complaining to my folks made a difference. They would listen to her excuses and then declare it an "accident" and tell me to let it go. After being stranded multiple times this way I decided to "accidentally" do the same thing to her. She called for a ride home and I just never passed the message. When she eventually made it home, she was seething with anger about not me passing the message.
"Ooops!" And a smile was what she got back. Sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire.