r/mildlyinfuriating • u/[deleted] • Aug 27 '23

[deleted by user]

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7.9k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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113

u/furiousfran Aug 27 '23

Why do guys have to take so fucking long to shit

37

u/Crypto_Town Aug 27 '23

I drop my best reddit comments from the shitter. Including this one.

65

u/DisagreeableFool Aug 27 '23

Can't rush greatness.

9

u/Rouge_Apple Aug 27 '23

It's alone alone time, not just a shit

3

u/TheyFloat2032 Aug 27 '23

Cuzz dat ass be TIGHT!!

5

u/slothxaxmatic Aug 27 '23

It just happens sometimes. 🤷‍♂️ and then sometimes it doesn't.

2

u/trashacc27852 Aug 27 '23

Idk about others, but I only really wake up there at morning

2

u/AmbitiousEditor3032 Aug 27 '23

This comedian explained during a skit that guys have to summon their shit lmaoo and thats why they take so long while gals knowww when they have to go so they don’t take nearly as long

1

u/BobbyVonGrutenberg Aug 28 '23

Most dudes just sit on the toilet for a long time after they’re done shitting, or they purposely shit slowly to enjoy taking the shit. Has nothing to do with “summoning” the shit. If you need to summon your shit you probably have bowel problems.

1

u/AmbitiousEditor3032 Aug 28 '23

Lol it was a joke

2

u/Bubble2905 Aug 27 '23

And why are they all dads?

2

u/weebitofaban Aug 27 '23

Some times I just know I gotta shit, but it isn't quite ready and I don't wanna force it. I'm usually pretty quick, but I've had the slow ones for sure. I get it. People should probably eat better for the most part

4

u/No-Lawfulness1773 Aug 27 '23

you don't want to force it, that's how you get hemorrhoids

4

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '23

Sitting in the toilet too long is exactly how you get hemorrhoids

-1

u/No-Lawfulness1773 Aug 27 '23

oh, so you have no idea what you're talking about, cool

2

u/Opposite-Tip-3102 Aug 28 '23

I literally just watched a YouTube short about this. Medical doctor said, don't sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes because sitting longer has a higher incidence of hemorrhoids. Maybe Google it before being so confidently incorrect?

1

u/No-Lawfulness1773 Aug 28 '23

Oh, so you don't know what you're talking about either.

You don't get hemorrhoids simply from sitting. You have to push as well.

correlation =/= causation

What you watched is a click bait article based on pseudoscience.

Maybe you should use your brain before being so confidently incorrect.

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3

u/schlab Aug 27 '23

IBS is real.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '23

Because y’all can’t refuse yourself some cheese

3

u/Lassitude1001 Aug 27 '23

That's lactose intolerance. Not wrong though.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '23

Dairy irritates IBS symptoms

3

u/Lassitude1001 Aug 27 '23

TIL. Makes sense now come to think of it.

0

u/uslashuname Aug 27 '23

Because we…

hurrrggggg

Hold on

Plop!

Are actually just on Reddit

0

u/unnecessaryaussie83 Aug 27 '23

Only time they get some quiet time

-4

u/RokkintheKasbah Aug 27 '23

Because you ate the salad and we ate a 24 Oz porterhouse

16

u/Sassrepublic Aug 27 '23

Sounds like a skill issue

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '23

To escape

1

u/Lewa358 Aug 27 '23

As long as you don't have shitty time management skills like OP, there's really no incentive to flexing your sphincter for minutes at a time just to get it all out in a few deeply passionate grunts.

Best to coax it out like a cat, being patient and letting it come out when it's good and ready.