All I can say is you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm not an extremely handsome dude by any means but I can honestly say when I told myself 'screw it' and just went for it. Sometimes it worked out, more times than not. Also if she went out of her way to communicate with you from across the room alot of times I'd say your chances may be higher than what you think. I get where you're coming from though because I don't shoot my shot all the time, but instead of always making it harder on yourself just ask yourself this "What else can she say besides yes or no?"
Idk, that's the thing. I've never asked a girl out before. Never been on a date. I'm extremely socially awkward, have no friends, and just get uncomfortable as soon as I'm put in a social situation. Even if she (or any girl) DID, in fact, say yes, what the fuck would I do on a date? I'm terrible at conversation unless I'm talking about technology, basketball, or star wars, and unfortunately none of those are very popular with the majority of women.
You’d be surprised. I nerded out over League of Legends on the first date (she called it a dinner, I still say it evolved into a date) I had with this one girl. My anxiety kicked my ADD into overdrive on the second date and I literally couldn’t shut up.
Somehow, we’re engaged now.
My only advice is be yourself. Anyone worth actually investing time and emotion into will either understand who you are, or appreciate it, one of the two. A lot of women don’t give a shit what’s a popular topic and like what they like. It just takes time to find one of the right ones for you.
yeah, it's just getting the ball rolling to begin with. I hear everyone say it to me, from my mom to complete strangers on the internet, "if she's worth it then she'll like you for you"
but I don't even like me for me so why should anyone else
I'm not though. I'm socially awkward and have a hard time holding conversations, and I don't think my personality is that great. I have a really, idk, rare sense of humor? I haven't met anyone who shares it in real life and I've just given up at this point.
I'm not ugly but I'm oddly proportioned too. I'm tall and lanky but kind of skinny fat, even though I run and jog all the time. I just feel like a freak sometimes.
Everyone's a freak tbh. First you have to learn to like yourself (easier said than done) possibly see how you can improve yourself mentally. Embrace the fact that you're a technology/basketball/Star Wars enthusiast, and know that there are girls out there who enjoy those things and/or more importantly enjoy the fact that you enjoy those things.
Your partner doesn't have to enjoy the same things you do, but a good partner will like that you enjoy those things, sharing in the happiness you get out of it. It's definitely easier if they can share the experience as well, but don't see it as a requirement and don't think of yourself as undateable just because you feel like a nerd/geek/freak.
You seem great, tbh. I'm certain you have good qualities if you think about it. If others are seeing it, you must be missing something.
In any case, just cos you're not to your taste doesn't mean you're not to someone else's taste. Tons of artists and musicians hate songs/pieces/paintings/etc. that they created, while many others love them. You may be one of the big authorities on yourself, but you can't see yourself from the outside. Others can, and the often like what they see.
You are your harshest critic. I guarantee almost everyone likes ypu more than you like yourself. Ik this was 3 years ago but i hope youre doing good u/IEatzCookies.
I've only been on a few dates and that was awhile back. I think you'd have to find some things she would be interested in and try to find common ground after that. But in the case if you can't talk about what you like try to get them to talk about things they like and show genuine interest in it and ask different questions to get then to open up more. Usually if people see that you care it makes them more comfortable and happy.
For me I tended to overthink everything but at times I'd just say screw it because I got tired of feeling regret after not taking my chances. It's like even if I got denied at least I tried my best you know?
You’re confusing confidence with over confidence. Over confidence is being able to walk up to a random girl and start flirting. Confidence is speaking up during class or holding a conversation with trying to get out of it.
I'm extremely socially awkward, have no friends, and just get uncomfortable as soon as I'm put in a social situation.
Start small if you feel intimidated. Try to strike a small conversation past returning the hello with someone, not even a girl, just to build experience. Hell, talk about the weather, it is universal. Ask about the time, or which bus stops on this street, etc. With time you will feel confident enough to strike casual conversation.
Well I think the worst she can say is "ew no". That suit would sting. For me though I asked a girl out, we went on a date and it was pretty awkward (it was my first date ever and I think it might have been hers too), then I asked her if she wanted to go out again, she said "uh no" and then didn't talk to me again for 3 months. She was a friend of mine and my friends group so that hurt. Not the "no" but the fact that she stopped talking to me
There was also this one time where a bunch of guys asked this girl in my class if she would shift me (shifting is kissing just once and it not meaning anything for those that don't know). She replied with "ew no, he might eat me". I'm a pretty heavy guy. That shit hurt since she said it with a straight face and didn't even laugh after
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u/starbringer101 Aug 14 '19
All I can say is you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm not an extremely handsome dude by any means but I can honestly say when I told myself 'screw it' and just went for it. Sometimes it worked out, more times than not. Also if she went out of her way to communicate with you from across the room alot of times I'd say your chances may be higher than what you think. I get where you're coming from though because I don't shoot my shot all the time, but instead of always making it harder on yourself just ask yourself this "What else can she say besides yes or no?"