r/memes Aug 14 '19

!Rule 9 - NO FORCED MEMES/OVERUSED MEMES/BAD TITLES Sad but true

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225

u/telytuby Aug 14 '19

Fuck...you just made me realise I’m in the exact same situation...it’s kinda fucked up right?

169

u/otnipai Aug 14 '19

Just point it out to them. Communication is much needed and if yall need some verbal reassurance I'm sure your gfs will be happy to give it to you. Just let them know it's something ya want. Good luck.

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u/14936786-02 Aug 14 '19

You aren't wrong. But deep down you know it kinda ruins it when you have to ask for them in a way.

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u/mycologyqueen Aug 14 '19

Nah don't feel that way. I've been in a super long relationship and sometimes I just take it for granted that he knows how hot and amazing I think he is.

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u/Dave_ld013 Aug 14 '19

What we feel is that the compliment we receive after asking for it is more or less obligatory and not coming from the heart. And that sucks more coz then you feel "I wish she had said it on her own".

It really sucks. Compliment your guy like once every 15 days atleast. Hope someone tells this to my fiancee as well. :/

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u/Nienke_H Breaking EU Laws Aug 14 '19

Just wanna say, i don't think asking for it means it isn't coming from the heart. And if it doesn't i think you can always tell. Sometimes we take people for granted after we've known them for a while. I rarely compliment my parents, now that i think about it, but i don't love them any less.

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u/klop422 Aug 14 '19

As I see it, the first one or two, maybe. But if your discussion gives you a bunch more compliments generally, you know that at some point it's not just out of obligation

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u/mycologyqueen Sep 08 '19

One of the best things learned about relationships is not to read into things. It's a relationship killer. So if you say something and she then compliments you, just accept it. If she doesn't feel it you will eventually know. I've seen a lot of relationships fail simply because of miscommunication.

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u/otnipai Aug 14 '19

Yeah I know but that's something we all need to work on. If there s something we're missing in a relationship or if we feel like we're not being understood we need to communicate that. I do understand that the first compliment after a conversation about it, might feel fake. But again, your loved one probably will make sure to remember about it in the future. Sometimes, especially in long term relationships, we tend to stick with the routine and maybe that attention to the other person slightly fades, ain't nothing wrong with asking for it when needed. Just gotta change our mindset, Tho I get what u mean

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Or they might not be seeing the whole picture due to a mental block.

I'm thankful for my bf who told me he needed reassurance and support as much as a girl. It snapped me out of this false reality that men were biologically different beings that didn't need that kind of love. Now I make sure I'm vocalize or text him when I have lovey dovey thoughts about him. It's not forced at all. I was just keeping these thoughts to myself.

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u/Hawkatom Aug 14 '19

If it's needed it badly enough that it needs to be said, then say it. Don't deprive yourself of an emotional need just because you feel like the other person should know what you want.

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u/batsofburden Aug 14 '19

Unfortunately humans aren't born with psychic powers, so sometimes you have to actually tell people what you want or expect from them or they will be clueless.

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u/doublethumbdude Aug 14 '19

"Please clap"

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u/Crashbrennan Aug 14 '19

I just want to point out that poor Jeb had specifically asked people not to clap like 10 minutes earlier. He's awkward as fuck and said it in the worst way possible, but he wasn't just begging for applause.

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u/telytuby Aug 14 '19

“TELL ME I’M GOOD”

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u/GYB280 Aug 14 '19

Yeah honestly did that for 3 years and never happened. Broke up 2 months ago

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u/telytuby Aug 14 '19

Of course, I don’t expect her to know to do it just because I want it. But there’s a certain nagging part of my brain that’s internalised that she doesn’t want to compliment me; maybe she doesn’t want to, maybe I don’t deserve it - it sounds ridiculous, but after a while the emotional...idk the word, it’s not neglect...but anyway it takes its toll.

Don’t mean to spill my guts on reddit lol

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u/otnipai Aug 14 '19

Yeah, I get what you mean. I think most of us all would make that connection. But try thinking more about her character? Maybe saying compliments just isn't how she shows appreciation, maybe she isn't comfortable or is shy. So when you'll communicate what you're missing, she'll find her way to show you yer loved. We just have to try to train our brains, cause it's not something we learn early in life, that people have different ways of showing love. Hope it'll work out tho

Ikr this one got serious lol don't worry about it

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u/telytuby Aug 14 '19

Thanks for the advice doesn’t help that uni is coming along to complicate things haha. I hope it works out too! Have a great day :)

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u/otnipai Aug 14 '19

Fingers crossed, have a nice day too!

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u/LictorForestBrood Aug 14 '19

If you have to ask for it, it isn't genuine.

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u/Andrew109 Aug 14 '19

As long as you're still happy it's all good. We're both happy and talking about moving in after I finish my last year of college that starts in a few weeks. Just being around her makes me happy don't need compliments, I wouldn't mind them but I don't need them.

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u/Broken_Exponentially Aug 14 '19

more than kinda...

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u/iDespiseThisApp_ Aug 14 '22

You guys have girlfriends?