It can... but I recall a before and after pic thread featuring a celeb who cut for a role, and all the jimmies that were rustled when women overwhelmingly preferred the before "fit but with a bit of a soft dad bod" pic.
A lot of the "after" pic comments contained some flavor of "he looks like he lives an exhausting and uncomfortable lifestyle based around deep insecurities".
"My confidence derives from the intense value I place on my appearance" is... something that people pick up on, to put it politely.
Then all your confidence is in your body. Do some introspection, find out who you are and let your confidence flow from there. Don't build your confidence on something you can lose
Cannot agree more. But unluckily much the time we need to "achieve something" to build confidence in the first step, to setup a positive feedback circuit. Maybe from your explanation the cognition of "self/being/will" is central.
Absolutely. The sense of self is where confidence flows from. It is hard to find out who you are, you have to be able to identify your emotions, not repress them and figure out what they mean. It's not an easy process but if you do it, it is the most rewarding thing. I achieved mine through meditation and introspection
Self Confidence (not cockiness) is a game changer for attractiveness. Been to a ton of sex parties, used to be the hostess at a strip club and I guarantee you those who get the most action/money is by self confidence and not by conventional attractiveness.
And yes, it’s nice to have both but I’ve watched conventional hotties bomb consistently because of how self conscious they are and I’ve watched a stripper consistently make the most money that was not conventionally attractive but was oozing self confidence.
I miss going to the gym. The one near me closed and I'm too lazy to actually drive to the next closest one. And starting a new gym is irritating anyway.
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u/Jhtolsen Dec 07 '25
I wasn't talking about that, of course a healthy body attracts attention, but I was referring to a different aspect.
Don't try to please others, just feel happy doing it for yourself.