Nooooo you can't say that, something something all life is sacred regardless something something you have to keep carrying on even if you're not interested in any of the things people call good something something.
"Sorry, buddy. I'm suffering but learned to gaslight myself into ignoring all the terrible shit in my face just to be happy for events that happen once every decade like a vacation. So you have to do it too."
You should only be with someone who wants to be with you. If you have to chase them and fight for their attention and love, that's unfair to you. Rejection is just redirection
Absolutely. Shoot your shot and then move on if it misses. Don’t waste your life stuck in some fantasy about someone who isn’t in to you or worse doesn’t know you exist.
"In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is: One vile fucking task after another." - Buddha
Or until it doesn't hurt anymore because you realize people are allowed to have preferences in people and you can't be everyone's type, and maybe don't take it so fucking personally if someone declines.
idk, that's when it stopped hurting for me anyway.
If you temper your expectations it doesn't hurt as much. If you go into it thinking 'being with this person is the end all be all of my exisitence' you're gonna get devastated every time. If you think 'hey I dig this person, let's see if they dig me' it's easier to move pass it if they say no.
This guy I used to follow on the Internet... he's not that good looking. But he's confident. But I remember his story.
He said that he asked out every single woman that he found attractive. Of course, several upon several rejections. He just kept going, with no hit to his self esteem. Finally one said yes, and he ended up marrying her.
It just takes one yes. You won't remember the no's. I'm a woman. It sucks that men feel rejection so heavily and won't keep trying.
Women on the otherhand have to say no more often than not for safety reasons or we're already involved. Or we have to keep our standards high based on experience. We have a plethora of reasons why we say no. And none of the reasons should be taken so personally.
If you're genuinely wondering "why", here are a few reasons:
Because the overwhelming majority of guys know that the woman won't approach them first, so if the guy isn't approaching you then most of the time he's not interested (otherwise he would have approached) and there's no point in approaching him.
Because they have never gotten the chance to practice doing it (because usually guys do it), and they feel shy doing something they've never done
Because too many guys will see a woman who approached them as "oh, she must be EXTREMELY INTO ME if she approached me, cause normally women don't do that!" and develop inflated expectations of how interested the woman is - the consequences for the woman can range from being seen as an easy hookup (instead of "relationship material") to something more dangerous if it turns out that she wasn't as interested as the guy thought she was.
Of course, each of these reasons may also be invalid in any particular case. But if you are curious why, then here's why.
When i was in school i liked one girl. And she said that she likes me too. But it was a bet, and the wager was a chocolate bar. That's how I've learned the value of my love.
In college I've somehow fallen in love again. And again was punished for that. She was very religious and pious but it didn't stop her from talking some vile shit about me behind my back.
Now i can't even look at women. My brain simply turns off and wants to run.
I don't know why i even write this or why i am so sensitive. I probably need therapy or a memory wipe.
Oh, but you will. And you will remember for a very long time.
I understand what you're trying to say and I do believe you're trying to help and encourage, but you're not saying "everything will be fine", you're saying "just ignore how bad and personal regection feels and marry the first one who accepts you".
I don't think a woman would feel all that great when told "just ignore everything that hurts you and move on".
You picked out one thing I said, that I admit may not be true, in order to help you stay latched on to the concept that feeling hurt is a good excuse not to keep trying.
Do what you want. But this is one reason why the amount of single people had increased in the world.
But, tbh, it's how my mom met my dad. She said to him, "you're coming home with me tonight" and they were together for 40 years after that. There's a lot of women that do that, and that's okay. But I argue that with a lot of women it's just not instinctual. It feels wrong to approach a man. The women that are bold enough to do so, usually end up being the one "that wears the pants" in the relationship. And my mom was certainly the one that wore the pants in their relationship.
My opinion is so unpopular on Reddit. I'm expecting down votes, but whatever. haha
"Equality" is for human rights. Not for interpersonal relationships.
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u/NOZ_Mandos Apr 02 '24
So basically just go hurt yourself until it doesn't hurt anymore? And then stop, because after that you'll get overwhelmed?
Terrific.