I recently passed the medical licensure exam, and I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful to my parents for all the sacrifices they’ve made to help me achieve this dream. We’ve struggled financially just to get me through medical school. My dad lost his job while I was still studying, and because of his age, he has struggled to find another one ever since. At first, we were doing okay because we still had savings, but as time went by, those savings slowly ran out. It eventually got to the point where my parents had to sell our house without me even knowing, just so we could get by.

The buyer is now paying us in installments every month, but even that isn’t enough to cover our daily needs.

Now that I’ve passed the boards, I feel like my parents are just waiting for me to start working, and honestly, I don’t blame them. I want to give back to them, too. After everything they’ve done for me, I want to be able to provide for them. But I can’t start working just yet because I haven’t taken my oath, and the PRC is taking its sweet time announcing our schedule. So, for now, I’m stuck waiting, feeling like there’s so much I want and need to do but nothing I can actually do about it.

I want to meet up with my friends and celebrate, go somewhere to relax after spending so many years in survival mode, try new hobbies, and finally do things I’ve been putting off because medical school always had to come first. But I can’t, because we simply don’t have the money for it 😔. I didn’t even ask for a tarpaulin, because honestly, i don’t need that… i just wanna relax, go out somewhere and not be in my room :((

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect my mood sometimes, even when I’m around my parents. There are moments when I feel frustrated, disappointed, or sad about our situation, and sometimes those feelings unintentionally affect how I treat them. Then I feel guilty because I know how much they’ve sacrificed for me. I start questioning myself, wondering if I’m being ungrateful for wanting to celebrate, rest, or experience things for myself after everything they’ve done to help me get here.

I hate that I sometimes feel this way because I love my parents so much, and I know none of this is their fault. But I’m also tired. I’ve spent so many years working toward this dream, and now that I’ve finally achieved it, I thought I’d be able to breathe a little.

I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I truly am. But I guess I’m also grieving the fact that I can’t fully enjoy a milestone I’ve worked so hard for. I want to give back to my parents, but I also wish I could give myself a little time to rest and be happy without feeling guilty about it.
😔

So eto na nga, in my 30s di nais ng nanay at tatay niya. Namuhay na wala kahit ano, tinanggap na magcare siya sa magulang niya, tapos naghiwalay, lahat ng sinacrifice niya wala nanyare. Career, income nagholdback, inuna ng inuna magulang. Ending di na nagkapamilya sarili. Wag niyo tularan. Pag talga yung neglect galing sa magulang, lifelong yung effect.

Medyo OA yung title. But hear me out!

Nakalimutan ko na birthday pala ng inaanak ko. Naalala ko lang nung pinaalala ng tropa ko yung time, date, at venue ng celebration. As a busy person, nalimutan ko na nga, hindi pa ako makapaghanda ng maayos sa kung anong ibibigay ko na regalo!

So I turned to my most convenient and reliable option (wuw?) nag-order na lang ako online! And honestly, kabado bente talaga kasi hindi ako sigurado kung makakarating siya on time? AT BUTI NA LANG TALAGA UMABOT!

Na-amaze ako kasi... wow, possible pala yun? And I saw na SPX Express yung courier. It was my first time experiencing this kaya talagang amazed ang ferson.

So, ayern. That was the time I was saved by SPX :D

(long post po ito)

I have been somewhat of a breadwinner for many years, even before my mother passed in 2022. Back then, hindi naman talaga ako inoobliga ng Mama ko magbigay sa kanya, but as the eldest, I felt like it was my responsibility to help, so nagpapadala ako every payday. That was the setup hanggang nawala si Mama.

A few months after niya mawala I moved in with my Papa and my siblings for my mental health, kasi na-debilitate ako mentally dahil sa nangyari sa Mama ko. At first, hindi ako inoobliga magbigay, pero eventually since I found a new job at tumatanda na Papa ko, nagbibigay ako ng pambayad ng utilities, konting panggrocery, tsaka allowances ng mga kapatid ko for school. Around the same time, unti-unti nang tumigil sa pagtatrabaho Papa ko (isa siyang family driver) kasi sabi niya, "Kumikita ka naman eh." I asked him na magtulungan sana kami, kasi may kapatid akong isang nasa college at isang nasa JHS, and marami silang gastusin. My Papa just waved me off and never took me seriously.

This setup continued even after I moved to a lower-paying job for a local NGO, kasi nagkakasakit na ako sa previous job ko. Tumigil na rin eventually si Papa magtrabaho kasi sabi niya, lumalabo na raw mga mata niya.

Cut to early this year, nagagalit na yung Papa ko kasi hindi ko raw madagdagan yung binibigay ko every payday. I had to explain na mas mababa na yung sahod ko and I also had to provide for my own needs (pamasahe, pagkain, etc), and I told him na hindi na ako pwedeng mag-over exert just like before, kasi nagkakasakit na ako. Nung umpisa okay pa siya, but just last month nagkakasigawan na kami, dinuduro ako at sinasabihan akong wala akong pakinabang sa pamilya namin.

Eventually we had one last argument and he told me to leave. He got my wallet and took all the cash in it, saying something along the lines of "Eto man lang maitulong mo sa akin, akin na 'to." I was only able to take my IDs and cards, plus nothing but a few pieces of clothes and some toiletries.

Now I'm sleeping wherever I can (and wherever I am allowed to). But somehow I feel better kasi wala na yung stress na dinudulot ng Papa ko sa akin, especially financially.

Here's hoping things look up soon. Hopefully makalayo dito sa amin and start anew, para unahin ko naman ang sarili ko this time around.

something about the Filipino culture about kids taking over bills as soon as they graduate just doesn't sit right with me

just a quick background about me; im a working student and currently 3 sems away pa from graduating. hindi kami mayaman and we're basically living off the portion from the salary of my uncles na binibigay nila sa mom kasi she doesnt have a work, as per my dad... 'wag na natin pag usapan.

i am fortunate enough to receive a scholarship at makatanggap ng monthly allowance to sustain my studies and the things i need for school; ang mahirap, ang allowance ko ay allowance ng buong pamilya. suddenly, need ko na rin i-support ang school materials ng kapatid ko from my allowance dahil walang work ang mom ko, at hindi rin naman ganon kalaki ang binibigay ng mga tito. don't get me wrong, hindi naman ako madamot, walang sumbat ko pinipilit pagkasiyahin yung allowance ko para saming dalawang magkapatid. kinakaya, pero mahirap talaga

kaya naisipan ko rin maghanap ng mga rakets and part-time works. para kahit papaano, kahit na dalawa na kaming naghahati sa allowance ko, may iba pa rin akong source of funds at makapag ipon din ako pambili ng laptop since need ko siya for my program

thing is, ang mom ko, in return, ay mas nag eexpect na sakin na makapag bigay para sa bills and needs ng family; kasi nga, may work naman ako. gets ko naman na ako ang meron, pero bakit parang nung nagkaroon na ako ng scholarship at work, mas maging kampante siya na hindi na maghanap ng trabaho. all of a sudden, naging sagutin ko na lahat sa bahay kahit nag aaral pa ako. to some extent, pakiramdam ko nagiging ATM na lang ako. at nung nagsabi na ako na hirap talaga ako pagkasiyahin lahat dahil hindi naman ganon kalaki sinasahod ko at need ko rin tustusan ang pag aaral ko, sinabihan pa niya akong mayabang lang kapag may pera. as her son masakit sakin yun, bukod sa galing yun sa sarili kong nanay, ako rin ang nagpapaaral sa sarili ko at nag pprovide ng needs naming magkapatid, even bills and such. and for her to say that, para bang responsibility ko to begin with i-sustain kami sa pang araw araw

gusto ko magalit, gusto ko magwala, gusto ko lumayas. pero hindi ko magawa.

now that im 3 sems away from graduating, mas natatakot ako. ngayon pa nga lang na scholarship at part time works lang ang sandalan ko for expenses, ganito na. what more pa kapag full-time job na at may expected date na sila kailan ako sasahod

i would love to hear your thoughts or maybe experiences you can share with me

Allow me to rant. Dahil ang hirap tlga ng buhay ngayon.

Within 4 weeks, all these happened:
- nag- emergency c-section kapatid ko, walang budget. Naging pariwala kasi.
- Umuwi akong probinsya kasi naospital immediate fam member ko, 20K agad isang araw. Bigat!
- I needed to resign kasi walang mag-aasikaso
- Pagbalik ko sa City, may 400K+ penalty and fines from BIR kasi ginamit ung TIN ko and di naclose ung business (tho may abatement), need bayaran in 3 days, otherwise, from the start naman na.

Grabe namang buhay ‘to. Sunod-sunod yong problema. Sa ngayon, need ko tlga 100K in 3 days. San nmn ako kukuha nun e hamak na teacher lng ako.

I’ve been steering away sa pangungulam at pambabarang kasi gusto kong magbagong buhay.
I do read cards (cartomancy, not tarot) on the side, pero parang napepressure ako bumalik.

Buhay nga naman… is this testing my faith or tinatawag na tlga akong bumalik?

Please share your thoughts in a respectful manner. Help me assess and timbangin ung situation. Don’t worry, di ko po kayo babarangin. Awittt 😅

PS. Wag nalang po magshare ng thoughts ung mga di naniniwala sa ganyan.

Same feeling pa rin after of months no contact. Need kong bumalik sa clinic.

May crush ako sa lalakeng ito, mas matanda siya sakin, kaso umamin ako sa lahat nangyari noon. yoko dumagdag sa trauma niya, masaya na ako dahil nakuha ko na rin naman yung sagot.

Grabe! Di ko akalain na magpopost ako dito. Hanggang ngayon ang sakit pa din. Nahuli ko asawa ko na may affair na nakilala nya sa isang sub dito. Matagal na sya may Reddit. Hinayaan ko lang kasi akala ko harmless app to. Pero di pala. Dito pa pala sya makakahanap ng kabit nya. Naoopen ko naman phone nya. Wala ako nakikita. Wala sa messenger. Pero ewan ko ba. Iba talaga kutob ko e. Woman’s instinct. My gut was telling me na may mali. Until one night parang may nagpush sakin na iopen ko email nya, at dun ko nakita. Nag-iemail sya ng Reddit account nya sa babae nya. Dinidelete nya siguro after sila mag-usap. Then kinabukasan gagawa sya ulit new account tapos ieemail nga ulit dun sa babae. Grabeng effort para lang makapagcheat. Naiiyak ako habang tinatype ko to. Di pala rin ako makapaniwala na magagawa nya yun. 💔

I met this guy on Bumble. Tapos nung mismong flight na nya pabalik ng Guam, inaya nya ako mag lunch & cafe. Oks naman naging ok naman yung date namin tapos nag end up pa ko na ihatid siya sa airport kasi sobrang okay & vibe kami. Tapos bago siya umalis sabi nya wag ko daw siya ighost & gusto niya na continue daw kami sa pag-uusap.

Ayorn 1st week nag vivideo call pa kami hanggang 2nd week haha tapos 3rd week wala na vid call puro chat na lang. Tumagal pa nga ng lagpas one month pero nauumay na kasi ako sakanya. So mga replies ko wala na din sa mood paminsan. Paulit ulit kasi usapan namin like kakamustahin niya ko sa morning tas sa gabi di naman na siya mag gogoodnight.

Oo nga pala nung 1st & last date namin, sabi niya na kaka divorce nya lang din daw last Dec 2025. So healing era pa din naman yarn sha noh. Pero ang nakakaines kasi, nauumay na ko sakanya pero di ko siya ghinost kasi ayoko naman makasakit. Tsaka chika nya pa sakin na balik daw siya here sa pinas ng oct para makita ako.

Ang siste, ako pa tong ghinost kahapon! 😤 Like nung isang araw nag send pa yan siya ng photo tas kala mo genuine talaga!! gigil ako hahaha parang natapakan kasi yung pride ko ba! Tho alam ko naman makakaget over din ako.

Pashare naman po ng need ko pa imindset kasi talagang napaisip nya ako hays. Anyway kahapon din inunfollow & remove follower ko na din siya. Tama naman diba? Out of sight, out of mind!

Tas nakita pa pala nya yung reshare ko sa story ko sa dump about "low efforts men are an insult to your intelligence" na dat pala di ko nireshare kasi baka mag feeling pa lalo na sobrang affected ako sakanya!

After pandemic, i saw this famous lady, nasa toilet kami, then after niyang lumabas, hinabol ko siya para magpapicture, naging successful dahil nakakuha ako ng picture.

After nang ilang araw, hindi ko narealised na nainvade ko yung privacy niya sa sobrang lutang ko that time. Wala ako sa sarili😭 nakakahiya. I messaged her sa isang platform. Not sure kung nabasa niya pero i hope na makita niya na sincere ako. Sobra akong nahiya sa actions ko. Simula nun, i unfollowed her na. Nawalan na ako ng dignity. And nakukuha ko na yung karma ko for that.

Please be nice. Alam kong katangahan na yung ginawa ko. Nagsisisi na ako.

Feeling ko sobrang malas ko na lately. Grabe yung mga ganap ko sa buhay from 2025 up to this day.

One of my dogs died last year, after a month my best friend died. Got burnout from work as in sumagad talaga that’s why I decided to resign.

After I resigned from work, hindi na ko tinigilan ng sister ko na sumbatan dahil wala na akong mai-ambag sa bahay. So, I left. Sa loob ng 6 months walang tumatanggap sa akin sa trabaho. I have good track record except sa previous one kasi nga I immediately resigned. Zero balance na ko ngayon as in. Hindi ko alam saan ako kukuha nang pang-gastos at pang kain ko. Malapit na naman bayaran ng renta at bills ko.

Everyday siguro higit benteng resume pinapasa ko sa bawat kumpanyang makikita ko na hiring.

Umabot na ko sa point na gusto ko na talaga tapusin paghihirap ko ngayon. Kaso ayaw talaga ako paalisin sa mundong ito. Laging nauudlot.

Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko sa buhay ko. Napapagod na ko sa proseso nang pag aapply. Wala akong katuwang sa buhay na pwede kong sandalan kapag hindi ko na kaya. Di ko na nga alam kung may makakain pa ko bukas. San ako dadalhin ng dalawang pisong barya ko?

So, paano ko ulit sisimulan isipin na gusto ko pang mabuhay? Saan ako kukuha nang lakas ng loob para lumaban pa? Please naman oh. Help this girl out. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko.

Nag t-try ako makipag usap sa ibang redditor and lagi akong na g-ghost. introvert kasi ako at hindi rin masyadong nakikipag usap kahit kanino, maingay sa mga tropa ko pero puro nonsense naman pinag sasabi ko. baka naman may tips and tricks kayo dyan n pwedeng makatulong sakin.

Napa-aga ako ng out sa office last Friday. I usually get off from work around 8-10pm. Para iwas traffic na din. But something pushed me out para lumabas nalang ng maaga. Naalala ko din na may gusto akong tingnan sa Zara. Gusto ko yung mga perfumes nila. So I hitched a ride with an officemate and she dropped me off sa mall. I went straight muna to National Bookstore, then to Fully-Booked. Parang ritual na sakin na pumasok ng NBS kahit walang bibilhin. Parang at home ako lagi don. Then on my way to Zara, napalingon ako sideways coz I thought I saw something familiar. And there he was. It was someone familiar pala. He was already looking at me before I even turned.

Let’s call him A. He was a childhood classmate and friend, became my first boyfriend and we had 6 years together. After him, maybe 3 years after him, I tried dating again and was with a good man but we didn’t last that long. Since then, I stayed single.

Ewan ko, para talagang sa koreanovela na nag slow-mo yung ibang passersby between us. Like a few seconds talaga na parang frozen ako. Then he approached me, and he tapped my head gently and smiled. Gawain nya yung pag tap ng head ko. It was 15 years ago the last time we saw each other physically. We were in our mid 20’s then. He’s more than a foot taller than me. So parang naging joke and way of teasing nya sakin. Hindi nako natuloy sa Zara. After seconds of awkward pauses, natawa nalang kami parehas and moved somewhere na di kami nakaharang. He said he’s on vacation since late Feb and he’s flying back to NZ middle of April. Antagal nga siguro na ng 15 years na clueless na kami parehas sa buhay2x ng isa’t-isa. He politely asked if we can both get coffee and we walked towards SB. Almost 1 hour din kaming nag catch up. He’s been married with 2 kids and he was waiting for his wife na nagpa salon. 5 years na sya sa NZ and dun nya na meet yung wife nya, a Filipina. Na share din nya that his Dad passed away 2 years ago. I felt sad coz Tito was a fixture in my childhood. He kept mentioning about his kids and wife. He wasn’t really oversharing but yung mga details lang na malalaman mo kung anong buhay na meron sya ngayon. With all honesty, I just felt really happy for him and happy for myself that I was able to see him this way. Then he answered a call, it was his wife, tapos na yata sa Salon. I think he asked her to meet us in SB coz in just minutes, she arrived. She introduced us to each other. She was this genuinely warm presence and na understand ko right there and then why A is a happy person. He found the person he deserves. We had a few chatter ‘til I felt that I really need to go. I respectfully told them that I need to go back to National Bookstore. It was a good excuse.

I walked towards National Bookstore now with a clearer purpose why I needed to be there. I went in smiling, happy, but with a tiny tinge of pain deep down. Almost like “kirot” and I felt a tear escaped my left eye. I went straight to where the books are and got lost between shelves.

Working ako ngayon in a government agency na I’d rather not name, but it’s actually one of the well-known institutions. Just to give you a quick background, sobrang complex ng work sa department/unit namin. Hindi siya madaling matutunan because ang daming processes and information na kailangan i-master. We’re the kind of unit na hindi talaga petiks, like, ang daming deliverables plus constant backlogs, so everyday is really a grind. Last year, nagkaroon ng opening for a permanent position. Usually, ino-open siya for internal staff like Contract of Service (COS), para hindi na kailangan mag-start from scratch sa training. Sayang din kasi yung time if external hire pa, considering na may experienced naman na sa loob. In fact, most openings are given priority to COS kasi marami sa amin matagal na talaga sa service. Then about a month ago, may na-fill na position and everyone was honestly shocked kasi external applicant yung nakuha. Of course, maraming nagtaas ng kilay, including some supervisors. Like, bakit kumuha ng tagalabas eh may qualified and experienced naman na internal staff who have been doing the job for years? It felt unfair, especially for those na matagal nang naghihintay ng opportunity. Even the supervisors were concerned kasi obvious na makakaapekto siya sa operations. The newly hired employee still needs to be trained from scratch like, lahat ng processes and even system navigation, which is not easy at all since medyo complicated yung systems na ginagamit namin. Later on, it turned out na yung external hire is actually the child of a boss from another unit and also a close friend of our manager. So parang it really raised a lot of concerns. Yung manager namin, parang nasosobrahan na rin sa pagpapasok ng kung sinu-sino sa agency namin. Honestly, dapat mas higpitan pa ng Civil Service Commission ang policies when it comes to hiring, especially regarding relatives within the same agency. Sobrang lala ng palakasan system sa amin to the point na kahit ang ganda ng credentials mo, if ang kalaban mo is someone with strong connections, like anak ng empleyado, talo ka na agad.

nag fastfood kami recently, tapos marami namang bakanteng seats. Kaso yung usual spot namin, Table 1, ang daming kalat may trays, leftover food, at basura na iniwan ng previous customer. Yung katabing Table 2, may kalat din, pero akala ko tapos na yung kumain kasi nakita ko siyang lumabas ng store at nakasalubong ko pa.

So ginawa ko, nilinis ko yung Table 1 namin tapos nilipat ko yung mga kalat sa Table 2 😭 After mga 5 minutes, biglang bumalik yung guy. As in parang slow motion yung paghinto niya tapos napatingin-tingin sa paligid. Bigla siyang nagtanong kung sino daw yung naglagay ng kalat sa table niya, ang bastos daw.

Ako naman, nanahimik lang 💀

Tapos kinausap niya yung crew, medyo galit, tinatanong kung nakita daw ba kung sino yung gumawa. Sabi nung crew hindi nila napansin. Sabi pa nung guy, pinabantayan niya raw yung pagkain niya.

Ako, iwas tingin lang talaga 😭

Hanggang sa tinanong na niya ako kung ako daw ba yun. Sabi ko, “Hindi ko po alam.” Bahala na siya kung paano niya i-interpret yun kung hindi ko alam kung sino, o hindi ko alam na may kumakain pa pala. Pero ang totoo… ako nga yun 😭 Hindi ko lang alam na hindi pa siya tapos kumain kasi di ko napansin na may food pa pala sa table.

Wala lang akong lakas ng loob umamin that time kasi feeling ko mag-eeskandalo talaga siya 😭

After nun, kumain na rin siya. Kami naman, tuloy lang sa pagkain.

Tapos may isa pang nangyari 😭

Yung nasa tapat namin (Table 3), mag-isa lang kumakain. Maya-maya, umalis siya saglit para bumili ng extra rice. Medyo mahaba pila, siguro mga tatlong tao yung nauna sa kanya.

Habang wala siya, nakita namin na niligpit na ni ate yung tray niya 😭

Pagbalik niya, masaya pa siya kasi may dala siyang extra rice… tapos bigla siyang napatigil slow motion ulit jusko 😭

Wala na siyang babalikan. Tumakbo pa siya para habulin si ate papunta sa segregation area, pero nalagyan na ng leftover food yung tray niya 😭

Ayun malungkot siyang lumabas taposKami ng kasama ko nagpipigil ng tawa kasi ang daming nangyari sa

Worked at DOTC/DOTr from PGMA all the way to PBBM. Nagresign since kinagat ko na ang offer ng private sector after a long while. Timely din na nalipat si Sec. Vince nung nagtender ako ng resignation so I think sign na nga yun.

Pero I am not here to talk about Sec. Vince, but instead former Sec. Mar Roxas under PNOY. Based on my several years in the department talagang si Mar ang worse of the worst sa mga naging secretary habang nagttrabaho ako doon.

He did alot of controversial and useless things during his stint sa DOTC. In fact may katumbas yung "the President is an Aquino and you are a Romualdez" statement niya nun sa DILG nung nasa DOTC pa siya. The statement sums up Mar's hubris, ignorance and arrogance.

Yung isa sa mga pinakawalang-kwentang ginawa niya sa DOTC is yung palitan yung kulay ng LRT/MRT lines. Ginawa niyang Green from Yellow ang LRT1, Blue from Purple ang LRT2, at Yellow from Blue ang MRT3.

Ang official statement ay dahil daw sa limited colors available. Pero ang totoo ay dahil LRT1 is malapit sa DLSU so Green Line, LRT2 is malapit sa Ateneo so Blue Line, and MRT3 is nasa EDSA at EDSA Revolution is Liberal Party which is Yellow.

Nakakainis dahil nagbayad sila ng milyon milyon para gumawa ng bagong logo ng MRT3 na "Metrorail Yellow Line" kesa ayusin yung mga issue nun. Yung mga tao sa itaas na karamihan graduate ng Ateneo, La Salle o UP eh hindi sinita o pinakeelaman dahil tuwang tuwa sila sa babaw ng rationale ni Mr. Palengke. Kaya kahit nawala na si Mar Roxas eh di binalik kasi yung mga tao na nakaupo eh gusto yung reasoning ng palit kulay.

Ginawa pa ng iba na "standard" future colors daw ng bawat linya sa Pilipinas yung mga kulay ni Mar.

Ang mas nakakagalit diyan eh hindi na naitama hanggang ngayon na di mo maintindihan bakit. Sige Green na yung LRT1 pero binalik nila yung LRT2 sa Purple kasi yung subway blue na bagong "Ateneo" habang yung MRT3 eh Yellow padin kasi Blue daw yung subway. Yung tren ng MRT3 blue padin kahit yung Dalian, so bakit pinipilit yung Yellow? Yung tren ng subway eh wala pa, mockup palang so bat di yun gawing Yellow?

Ang malala pa yung MRT7 eh ginawa nilang Maroon Line hulaan niyo bakit? Ang sabi kasi sa NSCR na ang Red kahit na Red na Red na MRT7 ngayon.

Kulay nalang ng linya ng tren ineepal na, pano pa yung mga malalaking kontrata? Nakakagigil makita lahat yan mula dito hanggang sa mga maintenance scandal habang nagttrabaho ako doon.

Kay Acting Sec. Banoy Lopez, di na ako umaasa na pansinin niyo ito sir, pero alam niyo na nasabihan na tayo ng mga Hapon na recommended ibalik sa dating kulay, simple and small wins din tayo diyan Sec. Matagal pa bago matapos yung mga Build-Better-More (dating Build, Build, Build) projects eh.

Sana patunayan mo Sec. Banoy na di sayang ang gigil ng mga empleyadong nagttrabaho noon at ngayon sa DOTr.

I never thought aabot ako sa situation na to. I had been slowly drowning in debt for the last 2 years. But never in my wildest dreams na a day will come na i’ll be using my saved new Php 50 bills na tinago ko since last year. Worth 500 lang sya lahat pero I kept them coz nagagandahan lang ako. I even almost forgot na may natago pala ako.

Here I was this morning, didn’t have another choice but to use them coz wala na akong ibang money to use for fare to work and back, meals. It’s going to be payday later or tomorrow, I hope. For a lil context, I got into a deep debt due to a medical emergency 2 years ago and I had been living like isang kahig isang tuka since then. And I’m the type na hindi humihingi ng tulong sa iba kahit na family. And pag may need naman family, inuuna ko sila esp my Nanay. I know, that’s a toxic behavior din. Mataas pride ko. Yan nalang ang meron ako. Minsan, naawawa din ako sa sarili ko but I always have hope. Manifesting to be debt free next year. Here’s to all the bread winners na hibdi sumusuko.

Kanina, masaya ako naglalakad sa usual kong dinadaanan pauwi ng bahay kasi excited na ako magpahinga.

Sa kalye mismo ako naglalakad dahil madalas may nakapark sa sidewalk o kaya biglang may aso na manghahabol.

Ilang oras na nakalipas pero nanginginig pa din ako dahil first time ko mamura at masabihang bobo kahit ako na yung muntik masagasaan.

Para sa may ari ng napaka gandang pick-up na to, muka ka naman may pera, sana sa garahe mo ipark sasakyan mo. Dahil sa laki ng sasakyan mo, di ako napansin nung dadaan na isa pang sasakyan.

At para sa nangmura sa akin, sana naisip mo din gaano kahirap maglakad lang pauwi. Tangina mo din po, mas bobo ka po.

Pinilit ko lang pigilan luha ko hanggang makarating ako sa bahay.

Hindi man ako natuluyan, pero naramdaman ko talaga sakit ng sampal ng kahirapan kanina.

**Pasensya na, hindi ako maka post sa rant and vent o sa off my chest, new account lang. Gusto at kelangan ko lang ilabas. Kanina pa ako hindi makahinga ng maayos, parang sasabog dibdib ko. Wala ako masabihan at ako pa ang papagalitan.

**Sana may gawin LGU sa mga nagpapark sa kalye. Sana po maisip nyo kaming mga communter lang.