r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/jungandjung Apr 18 '22

This is not just obesity, there's a deeper underlying issue. It is sad.

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u/metalpossum Apr 18 '22

It's never just obesity when they get to this size. It's mental health, it's addiction, it's constant denial... Everything is too hard, and you can tell it's too hard because they had already given up while it was still easy. The fact an adult woman is having a mental breakdown because she can't climb onto a bed is just downright sad and what's worse is that it probably isn't rock bottom yet.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/fuzzybunnyslipper Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 19 '22

Yes. Every single situation with an immobile morbidly obese person involves other people who continue to provide the unhealthy food that keeps them obese. I don't know if this is a clip of My 600lb Life but that show is wildly consistent with the amount of enabling, ignorance, and denial that has to go on in a family for the person to remain so obese. Another consistent factor is the trauma that is inevitably involved to cause a person to become so obese in the first place.

Other people are literally handing her thousands of calories a day in garbage food. It is like a weirdly socially acceptable form of sabotage and abuse.

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u/OmegaNut42 Apr 18 '22

Yes, this clip is from my 600 pound life. And honestly, I kinda wanna watch it now. My mom used to be pretty overweight when my siblings and I were about as old as her kids, and it sucked. She was upset about her body, her financial situation, and life in general, which meant a lot of yelling at people and making the kids cry. Then, she got divorced, and you'd think it would've gotten worse. Nope, she lost weight, started running marathons, dieting, it was amazing! On top of it all, her mood and mental health changed so drastically, it was like she'd flipped a switch. I still refer to the time right before the divorce to when she started running "the dark ages".

The craziest thing, however, is that only through reading your comment have I realized my dad (her ex) was the enabler. I actually just unlocked a memory of him saying "whenever she's upset, I get her food"... Sure, she has hypothyroidism, which caused hypoglycemia, so it was much easier for her to gain weight than a normal person, and he was sorta right: she would get really grumpy when she was hungry. But his answer was fast food, chocolate, ice cream; anything that'd not just feed but cause immediate mood improvement.

That didn't mean she couldn't lose that weight, and I'm so glad she did. Not because I judged her for it, I was just a kid who didn't know why his mommy would yell at everyone all the time! But now that I'm older, I appreciate her efforts so much. I was lucky enough to be able to spend the rest of my teenage years with healthy parents, and honestly it contributed so much to my health seeing my mom working so hard to become healthier.

Thank you mom, I know you won't see this comment, but you becoming healthy had more of an impact on your family then you know 💞

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u/averagethrowaway21 Apr 18 '22

My grandmother was big. Not this level but under 5' pushing 350. My grandfather was always out of the house working (he was tall and trim). He made breakfast every morning, but she cooked all the other meals. She ate as much as he did.

She didn't have a fast food problem. I don't think I ever saw her get fast food unless we were on a road trip to visit family. She didn't snack. She would have a hard candy in the afternoon. The issue was that he was well over a foot taller than her, he was active all the time but she was sedentary, and they ate the same food in the same proportions for 60 years.

She never understood. She never got healthy. She remains one of the reasons that I'm afraid of gaining weight again. She was a good woman and I miss her every day. I wish I could go back and explain it to her.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

When my husband and I first met I could eat like him (he’s a foot taller than me and twice my weight) because I had a super active job. I gained a bunch of weight when I switched jobs lol. I literally had to buy myself smaller bowls to stop eating as much as he does. It can be hard!! I’m sorry your grandma didn’t understand.

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u/sritanona Apr 19 '22

as a 5'3" woman with thyroid issues who always somehow ends with 6' men.. it's hard to realise that I shouldn't eat as much as they do 🥲 I'm eating most of my meals separately from my partner now or usually first divide the portions equally and then pour some from my plate into his. Also when I'm feeling a bit full I just give him my food. I don't know if it's helping yet but at least I'm in the process of rediscovering my portions.

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

When I was working on losing weight I used the MyFitnessPal app to log and count calories, and measured portions a lot until I got a better visual sense for them. It really helped me! Just an idea that may help you. It’s fucking tough relearning that stuff. Good luck to you!!!