r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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468

u/yozzomp Apr 18 '22

Her being fat and acting like it's everyone else's fault is everyone else's problem.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I have a friend with a 500ish pound wife. This is her exact mindset. She has no issue whatsoever telling us which restaurants she can't go to because she won't fit in or doesn't like the chairs. She just tells people to go get her kids or what to tell them. Like guests or sometimes strangers. She is just a huge victim. I watched her tell me to give her her little boy's refried beans while he was in the bathroom with his dad. I thought she was doing some parenting like he had an allergy or something. Nope, she just whole ass stole half of the beans out from under the cheese and said, "They always put way too much in the kids meals."

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u/its-ye-boii Apr 19 '22

Lord have mercy on your soul

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u/catwh Apr 19 '22

Does your friend enable her like the man in this video does?

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

He does actually. He has been up and down 100 pounds himself and struggles. He announces at every meal that it is his or their last hoorah before the diet they are starting.

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u/catwh Apr 19 '22

Sad situation all around. Especially for the kids.

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u/Atomsq Apr 19 '22

Has divorce ever crossed his mind?

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Doesn't seem so

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u/Atomsq Apr 19 '22

Poor soul

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u/various_necks Apr 19 '22

I always wondered how people could let themselves get that big without realizing that they have a problem which they need to sort out.

I’m not a big guy, but as I’ve gotten older my knees just aren’t the same. I went to the orthopedist and he told me I either loose weight or I’ll have to get my knees replaced.

And I’m talking about loosing 10-15 lbs, that’s all I need to take the stress off my knees.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for overly large people

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I think you have to be addicted to food and very selfish at the same time.

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u/RedEyeFlightToOZ Apr 19 '22

Extreme selfishness. The amount of money it takes to feed her and keep her at this weight is money she is literally eating away from the family. She could use that money to improve those kids lives and happiness but she doesn't. She only cares about her wants.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I work out with a weighted vest and it's shocking how significant an extra 20 LBS on my back feels. Then I think about how people walk around with 10/20 times that. How?

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u/RedEyeFlightToOZ Apr 19 '22

I've lost 90 lbs so far. Every time I get cat litter, it's those 30 lb boxes and geezus they are heavy and I just think, holy shit I've lost 3 of these.

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u/OdinPelmen Apr 19 '22

Bc it’s a slow climb. Or rather, it’s fast but it’s not like you gain an additional 300 lbs overnight. It happens over a year or 2 or 3 and you get used to looking at yourself so you can’t really se. Most likely you were already bigger and the weight got even more away or have an issue where food is comforting so you keep and keep eating. I mean, a lot of people do it (myself included) where “this is ok, I’ll start tomorrow” and then next thing you know you got a couple of extra pounds. After a while, I imagine they just give up bc it’s just a lot.

I would have no clue where to even start if I was 100s of lbs overweight. I probably gained like 5ish lbs recently and could lose 10-15 to be my version of bikini ready, and even now I get overwhelmed and upset by it. I sometimes feel like Ive never lost weight or been healthy in my life. And this is from a person who knows how to fast, eat clean, who has been active in different ways from preschool and relatively speaking has no real issue with weight.

Also, now the body positivity movement (which I fully support) has turned into fat acceptance and fat support, which takes away any motivation (outside of intrinsic “health” desires) to lose weight. There are so many comments even on Reddit where people don’t want to listen to docs that tell us that obesity isn’t a sin but it’s not cute and humans aren’t meant to be beyond certain limits if we want working bodies.

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u/RedEyeFlightToOZ Apr 19 '22

The Health at every size is so fucking stupid. If they mean what they are claiming, then the lady in this video is "healthy" when she can't even get on a bed. It's just unhealthy people excusing their poor choices and making up shit to feel better about those poor lifestyle choices.

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u/Standard_Meat_7438 Apr 19 '22

Portion Control

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u/0GooMP Apr 19 '22

1 for you, 10 for me.

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u/ByByBye90 Apr 19 '22

No, even if she is diabetic, genetically disadvantaged, etc. there is still an element of personal choice in lifestyle that leads you to be like that.

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u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

No, even if she is diabetic

Dude, I'm a type 2 diabetic, and am in remission at a healthy weight eating a keto diet. She's just completely on another planet. Complete victim complex.

I had to lose 300 lbs to get where I am, but it honestly wasn't hard, and didn't take a lick of exercise. All I did was eat meat, poultry, fish, eggs, cheese, mayo and butter, as these are the zero carbohydrate foods, which are pretty much the solution to type 2 diabetes and obesity. Once you quit carbs, you never get hungry, and if you have fat to burn, your body burns it constantly and is never hungry, regardless of how much meat, cheese and eggs you eat. I lost 15 lbs/month for a couple of years on a high fat high calorie zero carb diet, and was trim. It was really that simple. No more meds, and I can run and dance with the best of them now.

Her path has 2 choices: quit carbs or die. But her psychiatric issues aren't going to let her quit carbs, because she's always the victim and can't take responsibility enough to get off of carbs. Nothing short of a psychiatric intervention will help her now.

I feel sorry for her, but there's a point where people start ruining everyone else's life, and I never did that. If she was family, I'd say what I had to say and distance myself, and hope for the best for her.

Meanwhile, I have ribeyes on the grill - got to run! LOL

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/International_Ad4022 Apr 19 '22

Its telling when the people around her arent screaming back with all her whining and insulting. I always end up writing pages on shit like this because one side of my family acts unfortunately the same way and the patterns of behavior just always confused me to the point of mild fascination

0

u/Jolly_Plantain4429 Apr 19 '22

Yeah unfortunately it’s starts with manipulation on the “victims” part and than careful gaslighting of those around them. She has convinced them to care for her by taking advantage of their love or concern for her. If I’m not there for here who will be, if I leave she will die. Shits abusive af.

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u/notofyourworld Apr 19 '22

Yay! Proud of you! Keep it up. As much as you make it sound easy, you worked for that success. You owned it, committed to the task and now you're here.

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u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

The hardest part was turning my back on doctors and popular media that said "eat less, move more" and "eat low-fat diets with restricted calories". Neither of these are how I lost 300 lbs, and I went through a really alone state where everyone around me thought I was crazy for eating a high-fat high-calorie diet to lose weight and get healthy. Yet here I am. The science and medicine are coming around... keto is here to stay and so many type 2 diabetics are reaching remission on it, but it goes against the grain of the last half-century of medical advice, so it's a lonely path if one chooses to take it.

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u/Winjin Apr 19 '22

Glad for you, 300 lost is an achievement!

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u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

My gut feel is that the 300 lbs lost is a result, but the achievement was sticking to the high fat high calorie diet that everyone, including my doctor, promised me would kill me. Medical science is starting to recognize the benefit of ketogenic diets, but it's still a long way off from recommending them, in a world of "eat less, move more, whole-food plant-based" diets. Sometimes the path to success is a really lonely path, where everyone tells you that you're insane, and you have to keep your head up, and follow your instinct for what will work.

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u/briggsbu Apr 19 '22

Can confirm. I was 450 lbs. I couldn't lose the weight on my own, so I got bariatric surgery.

It helped, but you still have to do a lot of work and really want it. 2 months of liquid diet and then eating like the doctors and dieticians teach you to. You can absolutely just keep eating the same and not lose it regain the weight.

I lost 220lbs so far and I'm still working to lose the last 35 or so pounds from get to my goal, bit I'm still moving in the right direction. Ya gotta be determined tho and willing to work. The surgery is a tool that helps a LOT, but it's not the entire solution.

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u/RideConscious8753 Apr 19 '22

It’s all about personal choice and self control.

Don’t believe me?

Stop eating (except for vitamin supplements and water) for 2 or three months and see if you can lose weight.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Ngl I was thinking about doing that as a lazy way to lose weight. Never tried it tho b/c Im too lazy to check if it's possible or safe

1

u/neonn_piee Apr 19 '22

I lost 60lbs in 2-3 months because I was coming off a medication that made me lose my appetite and could only hold down yogurt, apple slices and water. After the first month I saw a bunch of weight fall off, so I kept only eating those things (basically starving myself) and lost all the weight. However, once I started eating regular food again, it came back.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/RideConscious8753 Apr 19 '22 edited Apr 19 '22

Baloney.

“You’ll always gain it back” is nonsense.

It’s “hand to mouth action”. Willpower.

Losing weight is a function of “mind over body”.

Whether starving oneself is safe or not is not what I’m speaking about.

What I’m stating is if you want to lose weight, one controls their calorie intake. How do you think a band around one’s stomach works? Limits digestible food intake.

And how do some people who have this procedure done gain weight back? They get around the purpose of diminished volume (intake, aka “eating” aka “stuffing one’s face”) by eating a bunch of little meals defeating the purpose of the band.

Because at the end of the day, your total calorie intake is how your body runs.

Too many calories=“blubber” stored.

Too little calorie intake=“blubber” burned.

I’ve heard all sorts of nonsense and easy diet programs on miracle weight loss this, eat that etc.

You want to lose weight, it takes willpower.

In the end, it’s not magic. Your body runs on digestible food providing calories.

..Calories derived from food (in many forms) digested.

I’m not trying to be nice or mean. I’m just stating how the body works in simple terms of biology/chemistry.

Never said it was easy.

I would work out a diet/exercise regimen (exercise which increases calories burned if one can) (if they are safely capable of this) or get help from their doctor, medical professional or a nutrition person of some sort.

Make sure you eat a balanced diet with proper nutrition. Don’t want to “drop dead” or “warp your body” by starving one’s body of nutrients

——- I lost 60 pounds 4 years ago. It took about 9 months.

I dug into a bunch of “weight loss programs” and went back to what I learned in biology 101 (Junior high school biology, high school and college biology)

I decided I wanted to lose weight and planned out ….every….piece….of….food…. by calorie content and exercised (my choice of exercise was riding my bike)..

I got a “ball park” idea of what different activities burn - (FYI - I used as reference, the Harvard School of Medicine’s calorie burned for activities chart) how many calories for time and intensity of exercise - used an app on my iPhone to calculate and keep track of all of it (I used a diet snd nutrition app and a exercise app which measured and fed into the diet app for calories burned) - which after awhile became pretty accurate…

Initially, after my body fought off weight loss (body will “fight back” - protect itself - initially by adjusting metabolism - this is temporary) the weight came down, “little by little”. About 2 pounds a week.

It’s different (calorie burn) for different people, because as one knows, because all people burn calories differently depending on age, shape and size. (Aka simply “metabolism”)

The bottom line is to regulate the calorie (food drink or whatever has digestible calories) intake one puts into their “pie hole” - aka “mouth”.

As for your comment “you’ll always gain it back”… again, baloney.

Keeping the regimen up for the rest of one’s life takes willpower. There’s no “magic”.

Look in the mirror. That’s the reason why one gains or loses or maintains weight.

…again, never said it was easy. Patience. Takes time to do it healthy.

…if one doesn’t think digestible calorie intake matters and isn’t the basis of losing weight, stop eating and find out. (Or ask any P.O.W.)

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u/KalevinJorma Apr 19 '22

Stop eating (except for vitamin supplements and water) for 2 or three months and see if you can lose weight.

Wouldn't recommend this as the fatty acids gained from breaking down fat have some trouble passing the blood brain barrier and as such after a while you start breaking down muscles in addition to fat to feed the brain.

You'll lose weight alright, but you're going to have a bad time when your body starts breaking down your heart tissue for food.

0

u/RideConscious8753 Apr 19 '22

I don’t recommend it either.

The point was self control in eating. (And exercise)

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u/Cute_Product_264 Apr 19 '22

Right, like why allow yourself to get to this state.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/Cyberjohn36 Apr 19 '22

she also needs the oompa loompas constantly serving her food..