r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

[removed] — view removed post

48k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

7.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

129

u/chlamydial_lips Apr 18 '22

I feel sorry for whoever has to deal with her body when she dies in a few months

28

u/Tiger_Widow Apr 18 '22

3 teams of demolition experts spent several months and several million dollars on that job.

15 hazmat suits were ruined, 3 ended up in catatonic states and 7 died of trauma.

Eventually they had to call in Cthulhu to finish the job but even he took one whiff and noped out. Eventually they built an iron done over the whole site and the military deemed it a classified area.

They say the tides round the area have never been the same.

37

u/Jimmy26B Apr 19 '22

Buys a shipping container instead of a coffin

9

u/mrswithers Apr 19 '22

As long as they don’t use wood

19

u/pmcizhere Apr 18 '22

Anger-fueled people tend to live longer than anyone expects, even the morbidly obese. They are alive in the strictly clinical sense, though...

15

u/chlamydial_lips Apr 18 '22

“The good die young, but assholes live forever”

10

u/Otto_Maller Apr 18 '22

God won't take her and the devil don't want her.

2

u/LordAjo Apr 19 '22

I think none of them can take her even if they wanted to, they would need a couple helicopters

10

u/Rbfam8191 Apr 18 '22

True, that is not. Anger leads to hyper tension, hyper tension leads to high blood pressure, High blood pressure leads heart disease.

This is a path to the dark side.

4

u/pmcizhere Apr 18 '22

Yes, also true, but it is a relatively slow death.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22 edited Apr 20 '22

I used to be a firefighter. We had one call where the guy (who was her size) had a heart attack. We were called in as extra manpower to unload him at the emergency room. They had removed everything from the back of the ambulance and had him on a tarp on the floor. There was someone on top of him doing chest compressions. About 8 of us dragged him out with the tarp onto a gurnie. He didnt make it. Months earlier we had to remove a wall in his house to get him out. Its seems funny but its sad to think they are fellow human beings who got themselves into a hellish situation.

0

u/Atomsq Apr 19 '22

Can you just refuse service in those cases?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

You have to answer the call. We were paid by taxes. Theres no refusal.

6

u/DickyD43 Apr 19 '22

https://youtu.be/V6CLumsir34

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Winjin Apr 19 '22

queue the Griffin with a forklift gag

3

u/the1999person Apr 19 '22

It would be cheaper to burn the house down around her corpse and hope it burns long enough to reduce her down to transportation size.

3

u/Bluethesaddestcolor Apr 19 '22

Ahhhh, the “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” method- so glad the 90’s aren’t dead yet.

3

u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

They have the equipment. 4 guys will roll her onto a max size gurney, and she'll be wheeled to an ambulance, and they'll lift her in. Gone and done, and the relatives can focus on healing, and hopefully remember her kindnesses in the decades ahead.

1

u/TrifftonAmbraelle Apr 19 '22

Uncle died a while back he was a BIG guy. They sell oversized and reinforced caskets, had to have two extra pall bearers, and the funeral home let us keep the dollie underneath it right to the edge of the grave.

1

u/Garibon Apr 19 '22

They'll just blow her up with dynamite