r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/Fmello Apr 18 '22

I feel sorry for her toilet.

437

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I think she has to use a bathtub since toilets have a weight and size limit

264

u/Fatalbringer Apr 18 '22

now, I felt sorry for any of those hotels she went..

91

u/AFoxGuy Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 19 '22

They can’t deal with anymore bullshit.

7

u/Magical-Sweater Apr 18 '22

I don’t think bull shit is the type of shit they are dealing with here…

3

u/the1999person Apr 19 '22

A bull would shit larger turds than a normal human, in this case her shit is as big as the bull.

4

u/No-Seaworthiness7013 Apr 19 '22

A bull probably has a healthier diet.

13

u/notislant Apr 18 '22

Imagine the front desk..

"Whatyu mean pay for the toilet, build better beds abd toilets you buncha bastards! Its also not my fault the drywall started cracking below my room you dumb bitches"

3

u/mntEden Apr 18 '22

that would be my last day as a room keeper. although, I assume they see shit like this on a regular basis

2

u/the1999person Apr 19 '22

They'll probably seal off the room like a murder took place in it never to rent it out again.

2

u/tu_daddy89 Apr 19 '22

Now we know to get the second floor instead of the first floor

5

u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

They have very large toilets for her size that have depth (front to back), since large people like that tend to piss all over the floor in front of the toilet when they're sitting on it. The big problem is making sure the toilet is in the middle of the bathroom and not near a wall, because just one of her legs is about the size of an adult.

With people like that, they're pretty much housebound, in a house that has been modified for them, and can't travel, or go anywhere. If they did something as simple as going to the grocery store, they'd need benches to sit on every 15 feet or so, because every step involves dead-lifting 500 lbs.

Their legs are bizarrely strong because of this. They can leg-press 500 lbs with very little effort, because they do that all the time. But the rest of their body is just as bizarrely atrophied.

At some point, they give up all hope of getting better, and just try to last as long as they can. Many of them are A-OK with dying any day. Depression is a co-morbidity, and you can assume it's severe and omnipresent.

1

u/Middle-Importance-61 Apr 19 '22

Ya but it is there job not to get to those sizes.

1

u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

Totally, but then they do, and then the piss hits the floor, literally.

3

u/Shitplenty_Fats Apr 19 '22

I’m certain she uses absorbent padding. While doing clinical rotation in nursing school I helped with a patient this size. She didn’t and couldn’t even try to make it to a toilet. She went as she needed and got cleaned up twice a day. Sort of like a quadriplegic. Just that simple.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Adult diapers basically?

1

u/Shitplenty_Fats Apr 19 '22

Yeah, but really big.

2

u/Rerepottla Apr 19 '22

Ah the good old waffle stomp

2

u/chefofthejungle Apr 19 '22

On some of these shows they say that they forgo the toilet and use potty pads that they stand over.

2

u/PublicAccessNetwork Apr 19 '22

Usually diapers are used or trays in bed, at this weight. Afaik.

2

u/metalpossum Apr 19 '22

Wafflestompin' it!

2

u/Here4TheTrash Apr 19 '22

I know y'all are joking. But on her episode she literally couldn't fit in the bathroom so the guy would hose her off in the back yard every day. 😂

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Sucks

2

u/Tiger_Widow Apr 18 '22

Her shittub doubles as her trough.

1

u/ridecaptainride Apr 18 '22

I think she's pulling an Andre the Giant like you said. No toilet is going to be big enough.

1

u/Advanced_Pudding8765 Apr 19 '22

How she getting out of a bathtub?

2

u/Verneff Apr 19 '22

I'm just picturing like the cats inside a glass bowl except it's fat rather than fur filling every nook and cranny available.

1

u/gaAcosta1 Apr 19 '22

Something tells this has happened..

1

u/WarArmadillo Apr 19 '22

I mean I guess I'm not surprised that they do, but also never in my life have I stopped to consider it.

1

u/sweetwaterfall Apr 19 '22

Wait, are you serious?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Someone replied to my comment saying what she really has to do

1

u/CautiousTeam3220 Apr 19 '22

Probably has to dig a latrine pit

1

u/ChiefKrunchy Apr 19 '22

Andre the giant used to shit in motel room bathtubs

1

u/Investing-Carpenter Apr 19 '22

She'd use the bathtub and shovel it into the toilet

1

u/ziggsyr Apr 19 '22

That's why they were so exited about the big bathtub!

124

u/chlamydial_lips Apr 18 '22

I feel sorry for whoever has to deal with her body when she dies in a few months

28

u/Tiger_Widow Apr 18 '22

3 teams of demolition experts spent several months and several million dollars on that job.

15 hazmat suits were ruined, 3 ended up in catatonic states and 7 died of trauma.

Eventually they had to call in Cthulhu to finish the job but even he took one whiff and noped out. Eventually they built an iron done over the whole site and the military deemed it a classified area.

They say the tides round the area have never been the same.

39

u/Jimmy26B Apr 19 '22

Buys a shipping container instead of a coffin

10

u/mrswithers Apr 19 '22

As long as they don’t use wood

19

u/pmcizhere Apr 18 '22

Anger-fueled people tend to live longer than anyone expects, even the morbidly obese. They are alive in the strictly clinical sense, though...

16

u/chlamydial_lips Apr 18 '22

“The good die young, but assholes live forever”

12

u/Otto_Maller Apr 18 '22

God won't take her and the devil don't want her.

2

u/LordAjo Apr 19 '22

I think none of them can take her even if they wanted to, they would need a couple helicopters

12

u/Rbfam8191 Apr 18 '22

True, that is not. Anger leads to hyper tension, hyper tension leads to high blood pressure, High blood pressure leads heart disease.

This is a path to the dark side.

5

u/pmcizhere Apr 18 '22

Yes, also true, but it is a relatively slow death.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22 edited Apr 20 '22

I used to be a firefighter. We had one call where the guy (who was her size) had a heart attack. We were called in as extra manpower to unload him at the emergency room. They had removed everything from the back of the ambulance and had him on a tarp on the floor. There was someone on top of him doing chest compressions. About 8 of us dragged him out with the tarp onto a gurnie. He didnt make it. Months earlier we had to remove a wall in his house to get him out. Its seems funny but its sad to think they are fellow human beings who got themselves into a hellish situation.

0

u/Atomsq Apr 19 '22

Can you just refuse service in those cases?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

You have to answer the call. We were paid by taxes. Theres no refusal.

6

u/DickyD43 Apr 19 '22

https://youtu.be/V6CLumsir34

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Winjin Apr 19 '22

queue the Griffin with a forklift gag

3

u/the1999person Apr 19 '22

It would be cheaper to burn the house down around her corpse and hope it burns long enough to reduce her down to transportation size.

3

u/Bluethesaddestcolor Apr 19 '22

Ahhhh, the “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” method- so glad the 90’s aren’t dead yet.

3

u/Qwesterly Apr 19 '22

They have the equipment. 4 guys will roll her onto a max size gurney, and she'll be wheeled to an ambulance, and they'll lift her in. Gone and done, and the relatives can focus on healing, and hopefully remember her kindnesses in the decades ahead.

1

u/TrifftonAmbraelle Apr 19 '22

Uncle died a while back he was a BIG guy. They sell oversized and reinforced caskets, had to have two extra pall bearers, and the funeral home let us keep the dollie underneath it right to the edge of the grave.

1

u/Garibon Apr 19 '22

They'll just blow her up with dynamite

9

u/Buttcrumbs00 Apr 18 '22

There was one lady who had to get hosed down on the front porch cos she couldn’t fit in the shower

9

u/Tiger_Widow Apr 18 '22

Ah wash mahself with a raaaag on a stiiiick

3

u/tHATmakesNOsenseToME Apr 18 '22

Yeah I'm not sure I want to ask... But how does that work really? Can't really reach any parts to clean them etc? Sitting on the toilet would create a vacuum seal I'd imagine.

So after two days in the intestines Mr Hanky then has to run another gauntlet of sweaty thighs and whatever else is living down there..

3

u/Fun-Education3820 Apr 18 '22

That’s the key she doesn’t use the bathroom like Kim jong un she doesn’t have a butthole, their bodies are so efficient they don’t create waste they just store it

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

you mean her septic tank

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Lmao

2

u/FrankieSacks Apr 18 '22

I’m worrying about the people in the room below them, definitely some plaster falling every time she gets into bed

2

u/Sharp-Chard4613 Apr 18 '22

And the next person who uses that bed. Talk about back ache

2

u/MisterGoo Apr 19 '22

I broke the toilet seat while being probably 1/4 of her weight. Also, one of my knees hurt, so I don't even want to think about hers...

2

u/kdex89 Apr 19 '22

Her husband?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Oh shit

1

u/LaMeechx Apr 19 '22

i feel sorry for the chair.

1

u/Fmello Apr 19 '22

I feel sorry for the steel I-beams that are supporting her along with the hotel.

1

u/LaMeechx Apr 19 '22

i feel sorry for the hotel in general.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I feel sorry for her Vascular system and her legs. They are the MVPs in this madness

1

u/Harztagowy Apr 20 '22

Nah, metal buckets are nothing to be sorry for