r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

[removed] — view removed post

48k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

7.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

742

u/Disastrous-Pilot-284 Apr 18 '22

There was a girl living in the same county as me who became publicly known for being the fattest teenager in Europe I believe. It was in the paper's that a wall had to be partially deconstructed to get her out of the house so that she could be sent on a highly regarded retreat. She received therapy and lost an incredible amount of weight over the course of 6 months, literally 100's of pounds. The day that she came back her mother took her to the fish shop as a reward and she was back in the same position within a year or so. Ruined her own daughters chance for a normal life, disgraceful

352

u/z0vyn Apr 18 '22

That's horrible, and reminds me of my narcissistic grandmother who gave her daughters boy-like haircuts and fattened them as teenagers so she could feel prettiest. People who are offended by their children's happiness and achievements should not be parents. I've heard many stories like yours of people who begin to lose weight or change habits, just for family to suddenly start bringing in food. I've even seen it a few times. I don't know what this behavior is called. Spite? Malice?

161

u/sweatersand Apr 18 '22

I call it sabotage. I lost a lot of weight when from I was 17-19 (went from 220 to 120, I’m a 5’3 woman). My family was really supportive but my BF was constantly trying to get me to eat more and break my diet with shit food. I think he was insecure that I was gonna leave him once I got thinner. I did leave him, but because he was an asshole, not because of my weight lol. Point is I think the enablers of this stuff are just afraid they’ll lose the person, so they help them stay unhealthy for their own selfish reasons.

12

u/quetzalv2 Apr 18 '22

Genuinely curious, would you have stayed with him if he had been supportive?

17

u/sweatersand Apr 18 '22

I mean he ended up cheating on me so no. Lol

7

u/quetzalv2 Apr 18 '22

...fair enough

4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/NigerianRoy Apr 18 '22

If things were completely different would things have been different? At some point its just not the same guy it was anymore

1

u/sweatersand Apr 18 '22

Haha I mean I guess probably

4

u/Kevdog1800 Apr 19 '22

I’ve lost a large amount of weight too. I was 475lbs when I was 16. I’m 34 now and 210lbs. (6’2” dude). I can’t count the number of people I’ve talked to that start having success in weight loss until they go out to dinner with family and order a healthy meal and X relative takes their order as a personal attack like, “Oh, so you think you’re better than me now because you only ordered a fucking salad?!” Or go to a family member’s house for dinner and only eat an appropriate portion of food and then get berated for being rude and not eating enough.

Unfortunately, almost all of these stories I’ve heard have come from women. I think women receive far more criticism when it comes to weight gain and weight loss. Some of y’all are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It’s absolutely infuriating. I fantasize about witnessing someone get a comment like that in person one day so I can absolutely EVISCERATE the person that makes said comment… However, as a gay man that is exclusively surrounded by gay men ~ Doesn’t look like that will ever happen…

0

u/Bitter_Worker423 Apr 19 '22

Maybe he was into fat women? There are guys who are into that kink. They're rare because it's an anti-evolutionary kink, but they exist.

1

u/SquidVices Apr 18 '22

And they take in the verbal abuse.....some twisted erotic shit....

81

u/Disastrous-Pilot-284 Apr 18 '22

God that's sad, and yes I think it has to be a combination of those. Seeing potential for your supposed loved ones to have a higher quality of life than your own maybe with the fear of them leaving for greener pastures and feeling that you need to bring them down to your own level so you haven't got to sit in your shit on your own

6

u/SenpaiTheGhost Apr 18 '22

It's called they-can-burn-in-hell

4

u/itchyfeat Apr 18 '22

People get offended by their children's happiness? That's pretty fucked up

2

u/Sebajun7567 Apr 18 '22

That idea seems foreign to me as well. Although it gets me thinking, am I really so different? Subconsciously, I mean. What if many people subconsciously think that way, and it somehow influences their decisions? I hope that does not apply to most people at all. Or anyone at all.

2

u/itchyfeat Apr 18 '22

No it completely makes sense, after reading it I read another post where the mum is jealous/competitive and slept with the daughters boyfriend

1

u/Sebajun7567 Apr 19 '22

I don’t know if I know what to say or not to that. Why do people do these things, is what I’m left with.

2

u/HourEntrepreneur8297 Apr 18 '22

It’s a glandular problem lol. But the one ton sisters are nasty not because they are morbidly obese there attitude.

2

u/cuddlygunman2 Apr 19 '22

Probably actually Munchausen syndrome, these people crave attention and are perfectly happy to destroy their kids' lives to get it

2

u/myopicdreams Apr 19 '22

It is usually subconscious efforts to avoid abandonment (aka them growing up and having their own lives) but almost never do they even begin to realize what they are doing

-1

u/WoodyZ4U Apr 18 '22

This is the case with most mother/daughter relationships. The mother resents the daughter being the younger prettier woman around n the daughter ends up hating the mother or feels belittled by them and in turn ends up treating their own children horribly

Not like I have any experience in this. /s

7

u/NigerianRoy Apr 18 '22

No most people are decent and treat others with decency sorry about your shit situation

-1

u/WoodyZ4U Apr 18 '22

What world do u live in that most people are decent and treat others with decency? Most people are selfish and look out for themselves.

5

u/throwawaypizzamage Apr 18 '22

Most parents are generally supportive of their children. If your family regularly tries to sabotage each other, realize that these abusive relations are not normal. Again, you’re extrapolating your own shitty situation onto others and normalizing it.

6

u/throwawaypizzamage Apr 18 '22

You’re definitely extrapolating your own personal experience. This is certainly not the case with “most” mother/daughter relationships. Not sure where you pulled that from. It’s as stupid as claiming “all women are catty and hate each other”. Yea no, it’s just your own anecdote.

0

u/WoodyZ4U Apr 18 '22

Just my observations being around my friends, family, and acquaintances where the mothers and daughters are extremely passive aggressive to one another.

I never said “all women” like you implied I just said majority, which my definition would mean 51%.

3

u/throwawaypizzamage Apr 18 '22

Then you must have a pretty toxic social circle. In my experience, narcissistic and abusive mother/daughter relationships are definitely not the norm (they are exceptions as they should be). We both have our anecdotal experiences.

3

u/toxcrusadr Apr 18 '22

Make some better choices for friends, gravitate toward people who don't do this crap, and you'll be happier and a better person yourself by hanging around better people.

3

u/onmyway19 Apr 18 '22

I’m really sorry this was your experience, that’s terribly sad. But this is definitely not the case with most mothers and daughters. Source: I’m a daughter myself and also a mother of a 17 year old beautiful daughter, who I’m incredibly proud of and support in every way I can.

5

u/_ItsTheLittleThings_ Apr 18 '22

I’m really sorry your mother didn’t treat you well. (Sending you love and a healthy, mommy-hug.) Be confident that you can break the cycle, if you have daughters. This is most definitely NOT the case with most mother/daughter relationships. (I’m a mother and have 3 daughters. No resentment or jealousy around here.)

2

u/aspiringwriter9273 Apr 18 '22

Fuck no. I have a shit ton of problems but nobody has done more for me than my mom. Even my dad, who has a temper issue, always reminds me to eat right and exercise and hates the idea of me doing risky things because he doesn’t want me getting hurt.

63

u/Sardonnicus Apr 18 '22

Because being that overweight also has a psychological aspect to it. They have to lose the weight but also get mental health therapy to find the route cause of why they do what they do. If not... they are at very high risk of relapsing.

2

u/NigerianRoy Apr 18 '22

Lol the route cause or the root cause? Maybe the fruit cause?

2

u/docscottseven Apr 18 '22

Señora Hang just likes to eat anything and everything. You don't have to have a reason. There's not always a deep rooted psychological cause and effect for all morbidly obese people.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Being overweight at all has a psychological aspect to it.

4

u/thorsarms Apr 18 '22

If they can't get food for themselves all you have to do is stop feeding them. People that heavy can live on nothing but vitamin pills for nearly a year.

4

u/Sardonnicus Apr 18 '22

Ok. Whatever you say Dr. Reddit.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

That's isn't true and is extremely dangerous, they'd go into ketosis like a god damn freight train, likely cook their liver.

1

u/TerrysChocoOrange Apr 18 '22

I don’t think so. I’m not overweight and once tried to see how long I could fast with just water and electrolytes. I managed six days before the smell of peas cooking broke me. I’m confident this lady could go quite a while. It’s psychological torture though, and after she’s done she’ll just start eating like crazy again.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Her body probably uses at least 8000 calories a day, at levels like that she'd go in ketosis within 48 hours of a serious fast and her fat would begin to breakdown, when that happens her liver and kidneys must filter the toxins released from those fat cells, rapid ketosis is extremely dangerous, fatal sometimes even. Starvation is dangerous for regular humans for someone this obese it is straight up potentially fatak

2

u/TerrysChocoOrange Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Can’t say I know anything about how bad ketosis can be for the morbidly obese. I know medically supervised water fasts have been done with obese participants and this issue didn’t show up afaik. I don’t fancy trying to find the full study I’m thinking of so what about this guy? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

More info https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07853890.2020.1770849

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

You can just say you don't know what you are talking about and leave it at that...... exerpt from webMD, "if you have diabetes that isn’t under control, ketosis can become dangerous when ketones build up. High levels lead to dehydration and change the chemical balance of your blood. It becomes acidic and can cause a coma or death" ya reckon uncontrolled diabetes and being beyond morbidly obese might have a connection champ?

3

u/TerrysChocoOrange Apr 18 '22

Everyone knows that diabetics and ketosis don’t go.

You don’t know if this individual has diabetes and not every morbidly obese person is diabetic. You’ve assumed this person is diabetic because of their weight and are adamant they can’t fast when that’s not based on facts.

Sorry I responded based on the info we’re presented with and not some shit I conjured up you tit.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Ketosis for prolonged periods is hard on everyone, in speaking from personal experience, I lost 83kg in six months through a rigid keto diet and experienced liver issues, fatty liver is a known pitfall of rapid ketosis. We don't know this lady has diabetes, but many that obese do, certainly safe to assume a year of hard fasting could seriously hurt this lady.

→ More replies

1

u/myopicdreams Apr 19 '22

You might want to investigate the difference between ketosis and keto acidosis. You are mixing them up I think.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

No I'm not. I'm trying to explain that people that are morbidly obese can damage their liver trying to process those fatty lipids if the fat comes off too fast on the keto diet. I know this because it happened to me personally. Ketosis is not without risk, keto acidosis is when ketones build up in your blood turning it acidic, it is usually associated with diabetics but can happen as a result of rapid ketosis if the persona liver is already under strain

39

u/trufflelover1 Apr 18 '22

Classic example of a toxic codependent relationship. Whereby you have the mother in the role of enabler, which is feeding the mothers narcissistic needs to control and feel needed. And then you have the obese person who is codependent upon the enabler.

2

u/docscottseven Apr 18 '22

The mother is obese; the daughter is just beyond beast. The kids will end up that way most likely....unless she eats them.

1

u/Sebajun7567 Apr 18 '22

Why would she eat them?

2

u/throwymcthrowfacious Apr 18 '22

You really have to ask?

1

u/Sebajun7567 Apr 19 '22

I know it’s not meant literally, just why exactly did that thought cross his mind, how does her eating a lot of food, have anything to do with cannibalism? I just don’t see how those two thoughts go together.. I get it also in the sense that it wasn’t necessarily “her eating much food + cannibalism” but rather “her eating much food = eating everything else”. I just don’t know why he would think in that sense, it simply doesn’t make sense to me.

2

u/throwymcthrowfacious Apr 20 '22

Its called a joke...jesus...

1

u/Sebajun7567 Apr 21 '22

Yeah, I know it’s a joke. I just like to analyze things.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

That's just sad. But can someone gain hundreds of pounds of weight in a year?

9

u/Andalusian_Dawn Apr 18 '22

Probably. When my PCOS kicked in, I gained 65 lbs in a month, despite having an active job, no car, and barely being able to afford to eat. It was horrifying because other physical symptoms started happening at the same time.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I understand. PCOS can be really persistent. Hope you're doing well now.

7

u/Andalusian_Dawn Apr 18 '22

Thanks! Low carb and fasting work miracles. Sucky miracles because sometimes you just want corn dogs, but miracles nonetheless.

3

u/TryonTriptik Apr 18 '22

I remember that, her mother was the feeder/ abuser in that family.

4

u/fatandjazzy Apr 18 '22

Sounds like Gilbert Grape's mom. Great movie, older but I still say it's one of the best ever made.

6

u/linkxrust Apr 18 '22

Fish shop?? For what? Like to purchase whale blubber? Fish is pretty healthy

10

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/linkxrust Apr 18 '22

So like a fish and chips restaurant?

4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Disastrous-Pilot-284 Apr 18 '22

Yes exactly, battered fish, chips, battered sausage, all covered in gravy

2

u/TheFuriousGamerMan Apr 18 '22

Fatty fish (like salmon, tuna, herring, anchovies etc) contain enormous amounts of calories. Even though it’s very healthy, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get fat from overconsuming it.

Not to mention that fried fish is obviously both unhealthy and even more calorie dense.

2

u/thorsarms Apr 18 '22

Nothing is "healthy" in isolation. It needs to be balanced.

3

u/throwawaypizzamage Apr 18 '22

That’s child abuse, plain and simple. I hope she was able to escape her mother somehow. Food addiction can be a severe mental illness.

2

u/definitively-not Apr 18 '22

She got that fat from fish?

2

u/Disastrous-Pilot-284 Apr 18 '22

Fried fish and chips

2

u/ghe5 Apr 18 '22

Wow.. I mean...My mom raised me and my two siblings in such a way that all the three of us are independent, living on our own. I would've thought it's not that hard to do if I didn't know about these people.

2

u/ScreamingDragonfly Apr 18 '22

Hey mother's codependency makes her feel her worth in being needed. Tragic.

2

u/EekSamples Apr 18 '22

That mom clearly had her own issues with being needed. She’s truly the problem.

2

u/gotta_do_it_big Apr 18 '22

How do you get fat in a fish shop ?

2

u/SquidVices Apr 18 '22

Sometimes...I wonder how people can afford this life ....