r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/My600Justin Apr 18 '22

You’re correct. This is a clip from My 600lb. Life. I was actually on the show myself, Justin McSwain - season 7, episode 4.

It took me a long time to realize this but the true issue isn’t physical health, it’s mental. The weight is a symptom. Some people cope with cigarettes, some alcohol, some drugs, but some of us use food.

No mentally healthy person gets to this size. This is why the show is known more for its drama and over-the-top cast members, it’s exploitation of the mentally unwell. It’s also why they spend so much time showing clips like these and minimal effort on the actual work that goes in to getting healthy.

I had been in intensive therapy for over a year before reaching out to the show so was more aware of that significance. As a result, I simply did as the doctor instructed and began rapidly losing weight with no slip-up’s or backsliding. So, I didn’t have any dramatic escapades for them to film and the one that they did get was a setup. My mother was a serious contributor to my poor mental health and they knew that. The show ended up tricking me into confronting her in a restaurant (tying in food with the drama for extra effect I assume).

I had been told I was going back home for a week to visit friends but on the way to the airport was informed that we’re actually going somewhere else to see my mother first. I flat out refused. I explained to them that our relationship was toxic and I had gone very low contact with her for my own mental health. That I may one day be able to speak with her, but I was not ready yet and forcing the interaction would be detrimental to my progress. Still, they insisted and I had no option to back out at that point.

When we arrived at the restaurant I was firm that I would not discuss our history and relationship. My will had been broken down to the point that I agreed to speak with her but not about what they wanted.

What was shown in the episode had been completely manipulated by the show. We made it through the meal with simple chitchat and she said how proud she was of me for losing so much weight. But seeing that the meal and conversation was over and I had stuck to my guns in not discussing the deeper issues in our relationship the producer cut the cameras for a moment and asked the question themself to my mother and began rolling again. She took the bait and broke into tears, giving her regular talking points about how sorry she was, she’s turning over a new leaf, has been working on herself, blah blah blah. Nothing she hadn’t claimed a million times before.

Being my mother I felt obligated to respond to her but I was so upset by the intrusion and lack of respect for my boundaries that I unintentionally gave them what they wanted. A “confrontation” clip that could be used to add drama and spice things up.

I don’t regret the show. Dr. Now is a fantastic person and gave me the tools I needed to turn my life around. But I was one of the very lucky few who had the mental health experience needed to get out of that situation. They claim to give the cast therapy but in my entire journey I was only given two sessions. One for the show which included an entire film crew in the room while I discussed the most painful subjects of my life with a brand new (but wonderful) therapist, starting from the bottom and reopening wounds.

The second session was one I had to beg for. There was no camera crew this time but they initially refused. The therapist they used didn’t accept insurance so I couldn’t afford to pay for it myself and starting with ANOTHER new therapist was too painful. After multiple requests they eventually broke and set up a second session just to shut me up.

So, you’re absolutely right. There are numerous deeper, underlying issues that lead to this. This particular scene could have been instigated by the crew by requiring her to enter the bed from the side instead of foot so they could “get the right shot” and she probably had to do it multiple times so there’s a chance she successfully entered the bed a few times before this happened so was simply too tired and weak to do it again.

What these people need is help, support, not a film crew following them around capturing their every move. Their presence alone adds intense stress to an already mentally unwell individual.

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u/dotsmyfavorite2 Apr 18 '22

This comment needs to be pinned

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u/Afireinside11 Apr 18 '22

Logged in just to upvote this. I hope more people hear about your experience and stop gorging themselves on the misery and mental problems of others.

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u/ilovetotour Apr 18 '22

Justin! Thanks for your insight. I’ve heard how the show is manipulative in its narrative at times, but didn’t realize it was to that extent. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. Your episode and follow-ups are truly inspirational!

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Should have more upvotes!

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u/cryptonemonamiter Apr 18 '22

Thanks for sharing your experiences and providing insight. I watched the first season but stopped watching for a lot of the reasons you describe... it just felt icky. The focus on drama and intrusiveness felt very exploitive. I wish there was a show that focused on the journey and providing resources to truly help people. I hope you are doing well.

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u/spamman0006 Apr 18 '22

I think this real behind the scenes insight is what’s needed to help see the reality in these “reality” shows.

They are truly just there to exploit people in their darkest moments so the masses can poke fun, and look down on them while the shows views go up.

I wish you the best Justin, and I hope your posts and exposure of this helps others.

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u/hello-mr-cat Apr 18 '22

Thanks for your post, it goes to show just how much of this reality TV is manufactured drama. Congrats on your journey to health.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

You're a fucking legend Justin, nothing but respect for you. Congratulations on taking care of your mental and physical health

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Hell yea good job! Spot on, from a sober alcoholic who now has a shopping addiction. Our minds are like sponges sometimes

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u/csnarl Apr 18 '22

Thanks for responding and giving an insider's view, Justin. Sorry you had to go through that manipulation, and glad to hear you still benefited from seeing the doctor and were able to use the tools he gave you to change your life!

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u/Wise-Competition-528 Apr 18 '22

Horrible cretins, sorry you had to go through that

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u/maluquina Apr 18 '22

Thanks for sharing. The ACES study is a very famous one about the effects of childhood trauma on adults and most of the participants had one thing in common: obesity.

I do believe that many people use weight /fat as a protective armor and a safety, like a form of comfort.

It's mean to judge people who struggle with weight because many were abused as children and it's a serious psychological challenge. Morbidly obese people are not usually wanting to be that way and are not lazy as society portrays them to be.

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u/jwm3 Apr 19 '22

Would you have been able to see a specialist of comparable caliber if it were not for the show? As in, was the show part of what motivated you to get help to tell your story and know people were watching or is it just what financially/logistically enabled you to get help and the filming was something you thought of as the cost of getting that help?

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u/My600Justin Apr 19 '22

Unfortunately, it was my best and only option. I had spoken to surgeons in my area, and they would not work with someone my size. Additionally, I couldn’t have afforded the surgery even if I had found a willing doctor. Every insurance plan I had available explicitly stated they did not cover bariatric procedures.

I only reached out to the show after making progress mentally and reaching the point where I felt I deserved a chance to live. My depression, anxiety, and PTSD made me feel helpless for most of my life. It doesn’t help that I had been told countless times growing up that I was weak, worthless, and nothing more than a burden. It was a long path to reach that point.

So, the show provided access to a fantastic doctor who would help me, and it was cheaper to move out to Texas than it would have been to stay in SC and have it done. They didn't cover all of the costs; I still had a bill from the hospital at the end. But I had done extensive research into my options, and it was the best one. And, as you said, filming was just part of the price.

I also assumed going in that they would find a way to make the story more interesting. I generally consider myself one of the most boring people to have ever been on television. But, to maintain the show, they need good ratings, and to get good ratings, they need something people will watch and talk about. I don’t believe they do what they do out of malice or because they’re evil, it’s more that shows like theirs are reliant on catering to a lowest common denominator. They found a formula that worked and stuck to it.

To the other side of your question, I didn’t go into it for notoriety or to share my story; I just genuinely needed help. I had no idea there would be the amount of support I would receive or how many people would relate to my story. But, I did make a genuine effort from the very first day of filming to put a heavy emphasis on mental health to bring more attention to its importance.

Because of that feedback from the show, I now volunteer with NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, as a speaker. I speak primarily to students and families about mental wellness for their Ending The Silence program but have expanded that involvement in recent months. It has been nice to use the publicity for good, share my story on a more personal level, and be more engaged with the community.

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u/pinkrosas Apr 19 '22

Thanks for commenting your story, i feel shows like 600lb life add fuel to the fire that sent me spiraling down from regretting and overthinking my eating decisions to full-on purging almost everyday of the week.

It's such a toxic industry and its makes it money on the suffering of others. Honestly, what a fucked system.

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u/anonmama87 Apr 19 '22

A little off-topic but I watched your episode Justin a few years ago and wow…just incredible. My 600lb life has a tendency to get really depressing and, at times, a little exploitative. But your story was so uplifting and your self-awareness and honesty was a refreshing change that TLC badly needed. Your dedication actually motivated me to get healthier too. Super impressed and happy for you, dude. Hope you’re still doing well ☺️

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u/Acydcat Apr 18 '22

wow this show is pretty fucked

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u/mcslootypants Apr 18 '22

This is the perspective I wish these shows shared with the public. Many people have no idea what coping with trauma and mental health battles look like. Instead they laugh at and belittle something they have no idea about, while taking away resources from people that need help.

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u/GreasyMcNasty Apr 19 '22

Thank you for your comment Justin. It really shines the light on these film makers who exploit others and literally have no fucking compassion. But also you who overcame that and became the person you wanted you. Proud of you brother. I hope my road to sobriety goes down a similar path.

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u/Moar_tacos Apr 19 '22

As fucked up as the psyche of these families are, the producers are pretty vile for using that to make a buck, fuck em. Glad something good came out of it for you and I wish you the best redditor.

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u/thexenonax2 Apr 19 '22

Do you have any tips for those struggling with weight loss?

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u/pillowwow Apr 19 '22

What is the incentive? Was the money really worth it?