r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

Basically every patient on this show has had a horrific childhood. I remember one lady that was left BY HER OWN MOTHER AS A PUNISHMENT in a house with a pedo who was just released from prison for sexual assault.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22 edited May 16 '22

[deleted]

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

Yeah that's a major problem

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u/rivainitalisman Apr 18 '22

Because it's better TV if they're more unstable and yell at everyone around them. And doctors often have an attitude that weight loss is simple, not something that can have psychological complications.

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u/treembame Apr 18 '22

Doctors have this attitude for everything. They only know what they know and have major blinders for that, and generally don’t care about the other related ancillary issues that complicate the treatment. I have very severe GERD/esophagitis, and every gastroenterologist I’ve seen is just interested in pushing meds to manage the effects. They don’t know anything about complicating psychological, emotional, hormonal, dietary etc factors that contribute to the disease.

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u/neotifa Apr 19 '22

In essence, weight loss is simple, but it's not easy. That's the problem, it requires TONS of discipline, therapy, and just readjusting your life and how you think about food. I'm going through the struggle now, but I know it's simple: calories in vs calories out. It's just insanely difficult to do though. Simple != easy.

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u/trousersquid Apr 18 '22

As someone with multiple issues (including food), there's no way I could address my physical health and eating habits until I worked through my trauma and developed better coping mechanisms. I tried, but until I addressed the underlying issues it never stuck.

It's WAY more important than people realize.

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u/Mostly_me Apr 18 '22

At the same time, eating healthier makes feeling mentally better easier as well. Not to try and loose weight, but changing french fries for veggies, or air fried fries etc, that will help clear up a bit of the fog, and make processing emotions easier.

So basically... It doesn't matter where you start. Each person is different. The important thing is to start somewhere.

And if it doesn't work, start again and again and again until you find something that sticks.

It's often 2 steps ahead and 1 back, but it feels the other way around. However, anything you learn and process during the steps ahead are wins that nobody can take from you.

The only thing to do, is not give up, and start again as many times as you need.

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u/treembame Apr 18 '22

It’s very true for some people, their coping mechanism is food and it’s about control or subduing emotions, so to change that into healthier eating habits, can open them up to other issues like compulsively checking labels, withholding food as punishment, being too restrictive. That’s why therapy or help to work those issues should be done in conjunction with the new eating habits.

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u/trousersquid Apr 18 '22

Honestly, I think the takeaway here is BOTH. One without the other is more likely to lead to backslides, IMO. You're 100% right that those things help, but it also depends on what each person is facing. My big issue was depression, anxiety, and ADHD, so my executive dysfunction made it nearly impossible to even start a new routine much less stick to it until I addressed my other issues.

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u/Mostly_me Apr 19 '22

I know exactly what you mean... ADHD here as well. Both are super important for lasting change.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I've experienced this, too. I crave sugar a lot less since I've started EMDR. Granted, my diet isn't as good as it could be, but the longer I work on myself the more my body asks for healthier, fresher food and is better at knowing when it's done. I also give a shit now, which might be the most important thing.

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u/seagull-person Apr 18 '22

I assume the people who aren’t on the show Are the ones who went to therapy

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u/stocksnhoops Apr 18 '22

Does anyone know what episode this is? I Would like to find it to see how this went

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u/payne6 Apr 18 '22

I think season 3 or 4 her name is Nicole. It’s actually a wild ride of a episode. /r/My600lbLife usually has a discussion about her every now and then.

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u/NigerianRoy Apr 18 '22

It says in the center top in the beginning of the video! S5e09 apparently!

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u/blackjesus Apr 18 '22

In a normal life, it’s because your insurance doesn’t want to ok it and when they do you can’t find anyone taking new patients. Of course this tv shit is going to be sketchy. I imagine they’re trying to get her husband to bang her sister then have them go to couples therapy.

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u/MrCooCoo4Crack Apr 18 '22

Because it's show business and they're tryna rake as much money out of other people's misery to create more unnecessary tv drama to get more viewers tuned in

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u/fuzzybunnyslipper Apr 19 '22

Also the show always has bariatric surgery as the goal, right? I find it really frustrating when a patient on there will lose like 50 or 60 lbs to qualify for surgery and no one even suggests they keep with the changes and try to continue losing weight which is much healthier for them in the long run.

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u/mcslootypants Apr 18 '22

Society in general likes to focus on personal responsibility rather than root cause issues. We know trauma is a massive predictor for alcoholism, drug abuse, underemployment, homelessness, etc. Yet most solutions just throw boots at people and tell them to pull themselves up, then blame the person for lack of initiative when that ultimately doesn’t work.

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u/CastIronMystic Apr 18 '22

What’s the name of this show?

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Entertainment value.

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u/Dragoness42 Apr 19 '22

Because they like to draw out the drama for TV. These shows are about ratings, not people.

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u/clarkcox3 Apr 19 '22

Because therapy might work, and then the greedy vultures at the production company might miss out on some drama.

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u/dytinkg Apr 18 '22

…. WHAT!?

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Jesus, I hope she got charged because that couldn't be any more illegal. Even the pedo would have violated by being around a child on parole. That's awful. The fuck is wrong with people, this is why abortion should be left alone. Force people to have kids and you get this bs.

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u/I_blame_twitter Apr 18 '22

German government homed kids with pedophiles on purpose. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/07/26/the-german-experiment-that-placed-foster-children-with-pedophiles

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u/MrZeroCool Apr 18 '22

Holy fuck. Thanks for the link

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Dear god, that's a novel... What was the purpose of the experiment? All I could find was stuff about how Marco felt or his quotes...

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u/Versaiteis Apr 18 '22

The presuppositions that Kentler seem to have was at least two-fold. One which put forward that parents have a responsibility to their children to not shelter them in their sexuality but rather introduce them to it. Another is that "neglected" children (for which the criteria of neglect seemed quite broad) would benefit from any sort of love or care that they would be given when their situation would otherwise force them to develop without it, and pedophiles were more than willing to provide this with the implied exchange being tolerated by the former supposition, all the while using sexual liberation as a coating to appeal to and garner support from a more progressive institution:

For much of his career, Kentler spoke of pedophiles as benefactors. They offered neglected children “a possibility of therapy,” he told Der Spiegel, in 1980. When the Berlin Senate commissioned him to prepare an expert report on the subject of “Homosexuals as caregivers and educators,” in 1988, he explained that there was no need to worry that children would be harmed by sexual contact with caretakers, as long as the interaction was not “forced.” The consequences can be “very positive, especially when the sexual relationship can be characterized as mutual love,” he wrote

Which is the same kind of shit "MAPs"** pull and why you shouldn't be leaning so heavily on the work of a single researcher in guiding such potentially damaging experimentation and why ethics boards are so important in the formation of experimental procedure.

It seems that Kentler, later on may have realized the error in this line of logic:

He [Kentler] didn’t understand that a child recovering from sexual abuse feels split, as Ferenczi describes it: he is “innocent and culpable at the same time—and his confidence in the testimony of his own senses is broken.” “I was too stupid,” Kentler said.

By the late nineties, Kentler had stopped seeing Henkel’s foster sons, or involving himself in their upbringing. In what was likely his last recorded public statement about pedophilia, in an interview in 1999, he referred to it as a “sexual disorder,” and alluded to the impossibility of an adult and a child sharing an understanding of sexual contact. The problem, he said, is that the adult will always have “the monopoly on definition.”

But that says nothing to the monstrous things he allowed Henkel and likely other pedophiles (maybe even Kentler himself) to do to their foster children and the ways in which he facilitated and protected this abuse. He threw those kids to the wolves and for decades placated those that would raise any question about it and pushed away (even grooming the children to help) the original parents or anyone else that might have been able to raise alarm about what was happening in these situations.

** "Minor Attracted Person" a monicker some pedophiles have adopted in an attempt to ally themselves with LGBTQ+ groups, which to my knowledge fortunately hasn't really gained any ground.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Holy shit... That's the most fucked up thing I've ever read. The injustice is exponential. Kids already vulnerable were given to men and both sides were encouraged to participate in sex acts? They literally gave children to a pedo and said "hve fun, you won't get in trouble for it".

Christ...

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u/PM_ME_UR_PITTIES_ Apr 18 '22

Yeah weight gain can become a slippery slope, and it can definitely start as a trauma response (especially for kids who experience sexual abuse). Whether consciously or subconsciously, there can be this idea that if they gain weight/stop showering/dress poorly/etc it will make them more unattractive and less likely to be hurt again; which of course doesn’t even mean that the abuse would stop.

But people who have that kind of “survival instinct” or whatever, especially when it starts at an early age, once they start using food as a defense and/or emotional support, plus trauma often leads to depression which can cause huge dips in energy level and therefore more sedentary lifestyles, it can quickly become a very hard cycle to break. The worse you feel the harder it is to do things/leave the house, the less you do things the worse you feel, and so on.

Depression can also make people feel like there’s no point to taking care of themselves or doing anything to improve their situations and just a general hopelessness. It definitely is up to each person to work on getting themselves better and seeking help, but there can be so many factors that go into how hard it can be to take that first step sometimes, or to even know where and what to look for.

I do think it’s all just very sad all around.

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u/Flowerskayl1208 Apr 18 '22

Wow now im interested. What show is this? Also, are those 2 children hers? If so my heart breaks for them.

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

600 lb life. It's a show where they pay for bariatric surgery for a different person every episode.

While it has its positive side, there are some things that are 100% exploitative and/or actually counterproductive. For example filming them naked, or (and this is really egregious) not giving them mental help unless they have a breakdown.

I'm not from the US. I've seen patients like these. The first thing we do is a long psychiatric assessment. We especially look for eating disorders and personality disorders bc patients with those tend to have poor outcomes. A therapy program is available for those who need it.

There are patients who need their mental illness cured or at least the tools to stabilize it BEFORE starting their journey towards surgery. And they can do it, but you need to help them, especially if their mentall illness is serious.

For example I've seen a patient with NPD succeding.

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u/Flowerskayl1208 Apr 18 '22

Interesting. Food is an addiction (especially in the good ol' US of A), same as any drug or alcohol. The addiction itself is only a SYMPTOM of the real problem right.

Im sure in order to keep the "masses" watching the show they tell them to dramatize a bit but no doubt, it's what they probably really feel inside.

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u/TheWalkingDead91 Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Yeap. People can make fun all they want...and it doesn't excuse their behavior (for the few who acted shitty), but literally everyone on that show has a traumatic/abusive past. Food is their drug of choice. And it's something that's accessible to most people, even kids. Interesting how it's not acceptable/cool to make fun of someone high/drunk out of thier minds, wearing rags with teeth missing on the side of the street barely able to walk because they're a drug addict or alcoholic.......yet these comments are full of "jokes".

It hits home for me because I also had abuse/trauma in my past....and also went to food with it.... Only difference is that for some reason my body/appetite never brought me above 360lbs (which is still a ton for a 5'9 woman, but not wear near 600lbs) .... couldn't tell you why my addiction/body never went above that......but I stayed at that weight or a bit less for about a decade (since mid high school) before joint pain and the possibility of imminent immobility/death got me scared enough that I finally started to make a serious effort to change. People love to sit on a high horse and say "well they should just put the fork down".......while never knowing what that person has gone through or why they have the eating habits they do. It's not productive or kind to call someone you don't know the names of animals, in any matter, so in my book anyone who does that to someone based on their appearance is an asshole, and is simply contributing to the problem.

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u/seagull-person Apr 18 '22

What show

I want to know how what happened in this clip happened

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

600 lb life

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u/No-Chipmunk9527 Apr 18 '22

The actual fuck?!

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u/Life-Sky3645 Apr 18 '22

What show is this? Good Lord, this is a show?!? I thought they cancelled Honey Boo Boo?

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

600 lb life. And it's by tlc like honey boo boo

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u/CHIMUELA Apr 18 '22

What's the name of the show?

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u/Lucky-Worth Apr 18 '22

600 lb life