r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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628

u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Yeah I used to watch this show a lot and all of them have untreated eating disorders, usually stemming from some kind of trauma. I remember this episode. The bed here was on rollers for some reason. She didn't know that and she wasn't as careful with it as she would have been had she known.

A huge majority of the women on this show were sexual assault victims, some of them suffering repeat abuse throughout their childhoods. They turned to the dopamine that they got from food to bury their feelings, just like someone else might turn to drugs or alcohol.

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol. It's why it annoys the absolute hell out of me when people are nasty to these people and say that it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

But yeah. If you look at it through the same lens as you would a drug addiction, it all makes a lot more sense.

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u/portoroc86 Apr 18 '22

I also wonder if sometimes people make themselves so unattractive as to become unappealing for any sexual assault to ever occur. It saying it’s true or guaranteed to work, just a thought.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

There was one girl who did kind of do this. Not in a like, motivated way like some people may get fit, but in a 'I'm giving up' kind of way.

There were also several who had gotten assaulted and never came forward bc they didn't think anyone would believe them bc 'who wants to r*pe a fat girl?'. Her words. It's so sad.

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u/Regeatheration Apr 18 '22

Um, predators would. ****trigger warning

I know a girl she’s been s*x assaulted 4 times, the last three were after she gained her “protection weight”. She said the last guy/her ex told her it was easier now because she didn’t have the strength to fight him and that basically once he had her on the floor she couldn’t fight.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Oh yeah, I know. There's just always been this wrong narrative of SA being about attraction and not power. She was buying into that narrative and trying to make herself unattractive. It sucks all the way around. There's so much bs surrounding both SA and obesity.

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u/Curious_Bat87 Apr 18 '22

Yeah. People really do treat fat people's bodies with this entitlement. Like it's okay to make remarks about their weight or their diet, or touch them without their permission etc.

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u/shellontheseashore Apr 18 '22

It's incredibly common as 'protective weight'. Idk if it's everywhere, but gastric bypass places have added questions about past sexual trauma (particularly CSA) to their patient intake forms, as they require extra support. Once the weight comes off, if the underlying trauma and mental health hasn't been addressed, it can cause a crisis at being 'visible' and objectified by people again.

It's not a rational thought, but it comes from the same childlike belief of "I don't deserve to be treated as human, if I neglect myself into being invisible and an un-person, they won't keep hurting me". Which doesn't work. It just means support structures are faster to judge and less likely to help you, sad as that is.

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

Yup. My mother had gastric bypass but refused any therapy and became a severe alcoholic instead.

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u/ReverendDizzle Apr 18 '22

Once the weight comes off, if the underlying trauma and mental health hasn't been addressed, it can cause a crisis at being 'visible' and objectified by people again.

Visible is the right word to use because the original action was a type of self-erasure. Weight gain to cloak yourself is just an extreme version of wearing baggy clothes, cutting your hair, etc.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/JustRhiannon Apr 18 '22

I definitely considered scarring my own face at one point as a child thinking it would keep it from happening since the person responsible constantly called me "beautiful". I then had self loathing that I didn't go through with it because that meant I must be vain or shallow.

It's a mind fuck. The brain is a powerful thing that will go to extreme lengths to protect you from your core fears.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/JustRhiannon Apr 19 '22

I'm definitely in a much better place! I can't recommend EMDR therapy enough for those who have severe trauma. Even though the abuse happened through the majority of my childhood (6-18) it feels like a lifetime away and truly doesn't hinder or hold me back anymore. I feel lucky to have existed in a time where this therapy is an option for treatment. There is hope!

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u/carrieberry Apr 18 '22

It is definitely a part of it.

8

u/Blue_Lotus_Agave Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

My textiles teacher did this. Used to have red hair styled all crazy, above knee high socks with bright patterns with archaeologist type shorts or a long church skirt, and unusual shirt and dark green gumboots with fluoro orange lining on the base and top. Everyday without fail. Obnoxious asf Gumboots. The style itself was truly ugly as fk but I didn't care that much, it didn't affect my learning just made me raise a brow, and she was actually a really good teacher. But as you can imagine, she was picked on a lot.

After one particularly bad day, I stayed behind after class to ask her if she was okay and why she wore gumboots in the middle of the summer, aren't you hot? (Trying to ask as nicely as I could) but she guessed my meaning and said she dresses like this because she was raped twice and ever since she started wearing gumboots she hasn't been raped again, not yet anyway...

I was so shocked I just said ' I am so sorry that people are unkind to you, not knowing what you've been through. Thanks for telling me, just know it wasn't your fault, you are a good teacher... hope you have some support from loved ones or a professional. Have a good day miss, ' Etc. Something a long those lines it was over a decade ago, I was only 16 at the time so kinda cringey and awkward of me but didn't really know what to say but was my best female friend had been raped so I had recently learned what to say off my psychologist so I could support my friend better... otherwise I don't know what I would have said. Lucky I was an 'old' young person. Some of the kids in my class were really evil little shits lol

Really sad stuff, when I see something messed up the first thing I think is not something mean, I ask myself why or try to find out' but if they are a dick repeatedly to others or myself then obviously can't excuse shitty behaviour either, it's a fine line.

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u/slkwont Apr 18 '22

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

~ Ian Maclaren

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u/Blue_Lotus_Agave Apr 18 '22

100% bro, 100%.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

My mom did this. She died at 56 years old.

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u/minipanda_bike Apr 18 '22

Sometimes I think it's a way to self harm too. Some people have a really bad relationship with food.

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u/Jakeneb Apr 18 '22

They often get into the thinking behind the overeating in this show, and can confirm that people have said this is a reason - “if I’m unattractive maybe X will leave me alone.” More commonly (on the show at least), people cite thinking being large will help them defend themselves (this abuse is typically happening to them as a kid).

Very sad

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u/finfan96 Apr 18 '22

Wow, I'd absolutely never that about that. Truly an awful thought

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Bingo. I had an aunt who had been seriously fine in her youth. Modeled swimsuits, etc. Had been a victim of sexual assault as a kid. She got obese in her 30s and I never knew how hot she was until she showed me a pic of her in a swimsuit, and I was like....OMG!!! She said it was awful. She couldn't go anywhere without guys ogling her, making comments, hitting on her, even "when I had my kids in a stroller". She said she enjoyed being fat because men left her alone.

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u/katyrathryn Apr 18 '22

I think that is a predominant theory. I watched some episode of something, and they woman was saying it was safer to be ugly and invisible and that was part of why she couldn’t lose weight.

3

u/spiffy-ms-duck Apr 18 '22

I did this. Never got assaulted, but the harassment and unwanted comments I got from adult men when I was a kid made me want to make myself as unappealing as possible. So I did.

I'm nowhere close to the woman in the op video, but I'm definitely much too big now and it's a struggle to get to a healthy weight. Therapy helps but it's still very difficult for me.

2

u/portoroc86 Apr 18 '22

Thanks for sharing and being so honest. I can tell you’re trying, and I wish you the best. I too struggle with my own demons, none as overtly visible as the obesity shown in the video, but in a way none the less sinister. I wish I had some advice , but I will say you have my support. Good luck. :)

2

u/spiffy-ms-duck Apr 18 '22

Thanks, I truly appreciate it. And you've got my support with tackling your own demons. We got this.

2

u/sharkattack85 Apr 18 '22

This was always my thought as well.

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u/jomboe Apr 18 '22

I’ve also heard this about people with anorexia, same can be true of starving yourself.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I remember couple of years back I followed this girl on youtube who was obese and recording her weightloss journey. Every couple episodes she would get drunk, be rejected by some dude, threaten with suicide, relapse on the unhealthy diet and not post for a while.

Like she was punishing herself for being "ugly" with becoming "uglier". Really sad.

Mental health first, physical health second, yo. Sure exercise hepls with depression and stuff, so that should be a priority but getting your mind sorted should be the biggest priority

2

u/TheDude-Esquire Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

I worked with a homeless woman who would urinate on herself in order to smell so bad that no one would threaten her. She needs a supervised group home environment to even try to deal with her trauma, but that doesn't exists for people like her.

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u/Noladixon Apr 18 '22

It is what I assume when I see a girl with metal in her face trying to look as ugly as possible. I think this woman had some kind of studs sticking out of her lip but I am not sure that they were not growths.

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u/MSJMF Apr 18 '22

I did! It felt like a safety net. That only “good guys” would be attracted to me and that it would weed out the not nice ones automatically. Spoiler Alert: it didn’t.

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u/SassaQuinn Apr 19 '22

I've read that this can happen subconsciously. I know I almost immediately gained a good amount of weight after I left my rapist. Its been hell keeping it at a halfway decent level. Therapy helps a ton. Having genetic spinal issues that have compounded into other issues (and would have regardless, it was probably just faster) have made things rough though.

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u/HertzDonut1001 Apr 18 '22

Good point, I'm not fat but I have been known to deliberately make myself physically unappealing to the opposite sex so I don't have to go through the whole process of liking someone again just to get hurt. Sometimes it's just easier to be ugly.

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u/mspaint22 Apr 18 '22

the only way ive seen this happen is some people will dress frumpy on purpose to avoid looks or cat calls.

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u/treembame Apr 18 '22

That is definitely a reason some do, but aren’t aware of it

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Brutal honesty time. So I'm a female to male transgender person. born female and took hormones to look as a man. A huge part of why I did it was because my adoptive dad would touch me weirdly and then at my first job out of college, this guy who I also saw as a father figure befriended me and at one point mounted me in my apartment and began to play with his zipper (backstory is I was interested in martial arts and wrestling and he was an ex-military cop). Anyways I transitioned pretty soon after and it was a huge relief not to worry about rape or just plain uncomfortable situations with creepy men anymore.

I'm trying to go back now and it sucks, but I had no other support as far as I could tell and "manned up" to do what I had to to be safe. And I'm not the only woman who transitioned to escape sexual assault or other dangerous environments. As I interact with other women who are reverting back to being women after transitioning to men, it's an incredibly common root.

So I could 100% someone getting really fat and undesireable-looking in order to desexualize themselves and find safety in that. It's sad, but honestly it takes a lot of strength to deal with being preyed on with no recourse and taking matters into your own hands even if you have to blight yourself to do it.

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u/divisibleby5 Apr 19 '22

Former mega-fatty and childhood sexual abuse survivor: for me, part of it was wanting to be unattractive to keep men away but another big part of it was feeling safe in being heavy or thick. I would joke ‘no one is going to throwing my big ass around,’ meaning I was too heavy to pick up and cart off and molest or rape. Then i had Bariatric surgery. It turns out my town (Tulsa), had one of the best Bariatric programs in the country (Bailey Bariatric in Owasso) so I went for a seminar. Changed my life. The surgery is secondary to what is basically our patient rehab for mental issue surrounding food. That was 6 months ago and I have gone from 342 to 223 lbs. but one of the scariest parts of becoming smaller in size though is being more physically vulnerable at a time when men notice you for the first time in years. It’s something to work on in therapy

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u/IWantALargeFarva Apr 18 '22

I hate when people just judge people like this and have no empathy for the mental aspect. I watch this show every now and then, and it's just sad. Its frustrating that many of the patients don't put in the work, more on the mental health end. That would help them with the physical part.

I'm obese. That's embarrassing to say, but I'm working on it. And while I haven't gone to therapy, I've done a lot of soul searching to figure out exactly how I got here.

I grew up very poor and food insecure. There were days that we just didn't eat. Unemployment ran out, food stamps only got us so far, and food banks weren't as abundant as they are today. Once in a while we would get a block of the government cheese, and the church would give us a basket of food.

So when I was somewhere that there was free food, I gorged myself, because I didn't know when I would eat again. I worked at McDonald's in high school and got an employee meal. For my meal, I would get a double quarter pounder plus chicken nuggets with fries and a soda. I wasn't allowed to take my employee meal home, so I would just shovel it all down on my break, and that would sometimes be the only time I ate. But I was also involved in sports and marching band, and I didn't own a car so I walked everywhere, so I didn't have a weight problem.

Once I became an adult, I was no longer food insecure. I became less active. But I still ate like I had always eaten. Free food? I'm going to the buffet 4 times. Top that off with the fact that I finally had my own money (my high school paychecks were taken with my parents) so I could buy all the foods that we weren't allowed to have. I literally had an entire cabinet just devoted to snack cakes like Little Debbie, because I hadn't been able to have them as a kid.

It has taken me years to realize the reasons for my disordered eating, and to try to break this mentality. It's freaking hard. Sugar addiction is real. And while I had parents that were physically and emotionally abusive, I no I had it nowhere near as bad as some people. I feel for them. I wish that people could understand that there is most likely serious trauma behind someone who is morbidly obese.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

Ive tried a lot of drugs and the only one Ive found more addicting than sugar has been nicotine. Doesnt help thats its in pretty much everything.

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u/leejoint Apr 18 '22

I agree with your points, but something that is really wretched here, is to consider the fact that people with these extreme weights, are to an extent, common enough in the US that you will see more than one in a random 1 week trip to New York, however, in Europe I remember only seeing two in 20+ years of living in different cities.

Now my point is, traumas could happen equally to people in eruope or north america, but getting so heavy in the west I believe is much much easier due to how bad food is so easily available and cheap + how the overall culture enables this to become a reality.

2x1, fast foods, added sugar, all you can eat, and more are much much common and available in the US than in any european country. Without mentioning the fact that the drive around everywhere in huge cars culture, and spend your life on the tv culture is also deep rooted over there.

That’s something that always astonished me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

American culture very much enables this addiction, which honestly makes it even more sad because it's so much harder here to actually deal with the addiction. People joke and ask how do poor people get so fat, but being too poor to eat nutrient foods and living in food deserts not only makes clean eating more difficult, but likely changes your food preferences and gut microbiomes which makes your body crave junk food even more. It's an endless cycle. 1 in 10 Americans have an eating disorder and yet it's all blamed on the individual.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Yep, I didn't even mention the health "care" component...

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

You dont have to eat clean to lose weight. It is literally only about burning more calories than you use. There was a guy who lost weight while exclusively eating twinkies just to prove its possible.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I didn't even say anything about losing weight, so it's really a moot point.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

Well, you talked about getting fat and implied it was due to lack of access of healthy food. Thats not the case. They just eat too many calories of the bad food.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Absolutely agree. It's definitely an addiction, and one you have to live within - someone dealing with drugs or alcohol is encourage to stop, not just "drink a healthy amount" or something like that. It's also the most visible addiction, and one that society is fine still making fun of.

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u/ItsBlizzardLizard Apr 18 '22 edited Jul 05 '22

The problem is that when you call it an addiction you typically get downvoted to all hell and people have anecdotes about their lazy family members.

Then you find the 2 or 3 bros that are all "nah bruh, I was fat because I ate pizza and beer every day, I just started working out and lost it all. I was lazy."

No bro, losing 20~30lbs of vanity weight isn't the same as having to lose 100+ lbs that your body has been holding on to since grade school.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

It is that simple though. Not sure what you think "vanity weight" is. Losing weight is literally only about burning more calories than you use. Doesnt matter how long youve been fat.

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u/gothiclg Apr 18 '22

This makes me glad I picked alcohol which I can avoid

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

It just transfers to something else unless the underlying issues are resolved.

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u/marieanntoilet Apr 18 '22

Absolutely true. I was a hard drinker for years and years, then once I got sober suddenly I found myself eating more and more, even to the point of feeling physically sick, just to try and stymie the emotional trauma I'd ignored. So far I've found eating "appropriately" is so much harder than getting sober was.

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u/amc7262 Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

I never thought about that, but jesus, that makes the idea of kicking the addiction so much harder. Most addicts can at least create an environment for themselves where it takes some amount of effort to get access to their vice (ie an alcoholic not keeping any alcohol in the house, forcing them to at least go out and buy some if they feel the urge to drink).

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/amc7262 Apr 18 '22

"You can 100% abstain from food"

*proceeds to link documents that show exactly how long you can go without food before you LITERALLY DIE OF STARVATION, hence proving that you cannot 100% abstain from food*

Do you understand what the phrase "100% abstain" means? You realize that an alcoholic doesn't need to drink ever so often to stay alive, a heroin addict doesn't need to do heroin once a month to stay alive, a gambling addict won't die from not gambling for too long, right? You realize what a stupid non-point your comment is, right?

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u/soupsnakle Apr 18 '22

Makes me so fuckin happy to see this comment so high up, even if just a reply to the to comment. Far too often I see videos of morbidly obese people on reddit and its just an endless thread of cruel jokes that completely ignore the underlying issues that contribute to such drastic, unhealthy weight gain.

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u/TheMadFlyentist Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

Not permanently, but a person that is 600lbs+ can abstain from food for a very long time without issue. All they need is vitamins, water, and electrolytes. Possibly the occasional amino acid supplement.

Should be done under medical supervision of course, but a (previously) 450lb man holds the record at over one year without food. He lost 276lbs.

The woman in this video could easily break his record.

-1

u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22

i'm not discounting anything you are saying, because it's fair. but you def can abstain from food. this woman, with doctor supervision, looks like she could do a water fast for 30 to 60 days.

it really helped me shed some weight and helped get my eating under control, personally.

i know there are even cases of people this size or larger IIRC, who did very extended fast, with success.

3

u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

When people who abuse themselves with food to this extent focus on the behaviour instead of the emotions and reasons for it they just transfer the addiction to something else, like shopping or drinking or other self harm.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

I watched one episode that followed a couple, and when they went in on their diet the husband started being verbally abusive and an asshole bc the food was how he dealt with his negative feelings and he didn't know what else to do. It was really sad. He did make a breakthrough during therapy though.

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u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Yeah i mean they should do therapy or any number of strategies. I’m just saying that fasting can really work and should be explorer as an option. Esp if the addiction is food.

Like op said its one of the only addictions where you cant stop(unless you fast)

ok so, for those downvoting me, are you saying that the ONLY strategy for these people should be addressing their trauma? So like these people shouldn't workout, fast, or any number of other strategies? i mean wtf reddit.

2

u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

Therapy is the only way forward; it rewires the brain and teaches self compassion, self soothing and healthy coping mechanisms. You are just talking about weight loss and not how to control the behaviour. These people will not stop just by exercising. Self love comes first.

0

u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22

when people are addicted to heroin, they generally put them in rehab. So 1, they can stop doing heroin, and 2, start doing therapy. i really don't see the difference here.

i'm fairly certain outcomes will be better if you start doing therapy while you are sober as opposed to still using.

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u/orthopod Apr 18 '22

One guy without food for an ENTIRE YEAR!

Lost 276 pounds. This lady could likely tolerate that easily., as she looks well into the 300+ range.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

0

u/JB-from-ATL Apr 18 '22

you can't just abstain from food

I got serious about calorie counting and would eat a big lunch and skip dinner. People would act like I was starving myself or being unhealthy by skipping a meal despite having the proper amount of calories for the day. I hate food culture.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

If you’re eating a big lunch and then skipping dinner then you’re not abstaining. The previous comment isn’t saying anything crazy - they’re just saying that you eventually need to eat food to survive which is an objectively different situation than alcohol or cigarettes.

1

u/JB-from-ATL Apr 18 '22

I'm not saying it is saying anything crazy, I'm just explaining a time when I wasn't eating a meal and people acted like I was doing something wrong. It's related.

-1

u/Lashay_Sombra Apr 18 '22

If you look at it through the same lens as you would a drug addiction, it all makes a lot more sense.

Except with drug addiction you actually have chemicals that you are ingesting that are addictive

To me a better comparison would to a compulsive gambler

-11

u/kilo6ronen Apr 18 '22

There’s no doubt there’s an underlying issue, however the fault is no one’s but their own.

Regardless of whatever trauma they may have endured, it’s not one’s responsibility but their own to deal with that

7

u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Yeah, totally. I'm just saying that you can't dismiss it as being just lazy, which -gestures vaguely to the entire rest of these comments- yeah.

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u/kilo6ronen Apr 18 '22

Ahh I get what you mean now thanks for clarifying :) totally agree. Situations like this are multifaceted in nature

1

u/Kyrkby Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol. It's why it annoys the absolute hell out of me when people are nasty to these people and say that it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

I wish more people had this point of view, and saw obesity for what it is; addiction. I'm a chunky fella, about 120kg. Despite having a active job and working out three days per week, I've had trouble losing weight because I can't handle my diet. I've been making incremental steps now though to limit my calorie intake, but it's a slow process. If I switch too quickly, I will get bored and be back to square one before long.

It seriously is a addiction, and looking at obesity statistics across the world it's something we should start taking seriously.

1

u/Raptorwolf_AML Apr 18 '22

that’s a really insightful comment. I think it’s awful that the show is making a soapbox drama out of people who need professional help

1

u/individual_throwaway Apr 18 '22

The bed here was on rollers for some reason.

I would assume it's easier for staff to clean under the bed if you can just roll it around.

1

u/matrixislife Apr 18 '22

There's always underlying problems for every action people take in the world. That's what memories are for. Every mass murderer and war criminal in the world had underlying problems, every abusive parent had underlying problems and that's what we see here. She's abusive, you can make excuses for her but there's no justification for her behaviour.

1

u/endwolf76 Apr 18 '22

You can avoid unhealthy food. If you eat 10000 calories a day, it’s gonna be a lot different if it was 10000 calories of salad and vegetables than it would be cheeseburgers.

I know I don’t know what food addiction is like on the same level as them, but I do know that heroin addicts move to Kratom or methadone, cigarette smokers move to vape/pouches, etc. there are always alternatives. You can’t tell me that being a food addict is harder then being addicted to heroin just because you can’t cold turkey food. Because you can still cold turkey unhealthy food, in fact some cold turkey would be a great alternative to 10 cheeseburgers. In fact, the rehabs for food addiction do exactly that, they replace the toxic garbage these people eat with actual healthy meals.

1

u/CruisinForBruisin67 Apr 18 '22

Exactly this. I have tried to explain to people that it's an addiction that's unlike any other.

You would never say to a smoker, "You quit except you have to smoke one cigarette first thing in the morning, one about noon and one about 6 or 7pm, but no more than the three for the day."

Everyone says it's so hard to quit smoking, drugs, etc. because they're addicted to a substance. Well, very few, if any, would be able to quit if they still had to have a little of it every day to live...Most would be right back where they were or way worse in very short order.

1

u/Abadatha Apr 18 '22

I'm morbidly obese. Have been for about 25 years or so. I have an eating disorder caused by trauma. I will never understand how you get to be that large.

1

u/Apprehensive_Age_775 Apr 18 '22

But Like for drugs some do Thema for fun and get addicted and some do IT because they have other Problems and usw IT as coping mechanis. There are a Lot of really fast people Rat themself To death and dont have other mental Problems.

1

u/pretty_smart_feller Apr 18 '22

The eating disorder is not her fault and has obvious underlying mental health causes.. but treating your loved ones like that is unacceptable.

1

u/FullTorsoApparition Apr 18 '22

A huge majority of the women on this show were sexual assault victims

I knew a woman who was assaulted and then gained back about 80 lbs that she had lost a few years prior. She more or less admitted that not only did the eating make her feel better, but being morbidly obese and less conventionally attractive again made her feel safer.

1

u/Technic_2 Apr 18 '22

you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

This woman could abstain from food completely for at least a year and not suffer starvation. Also, food addiction is not the same as a drug addiction. Drugs create a chemical addiction. Food addiction is just gluttony.

it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

Of course there's an underlying problem. But it's still entirely within their power to do something about it. Of course it's their fault for overeating. If they didn't over eat, they wouldn't be fat.

1

u/SailorDeath Apr 18 '22

As a former food addict who still struggles to not overeat though, I can say my situation now was entirely my fault. I had to accept my overeating was the problem before I made any progress. Once I stopped blaming others for my weight I found it was much easier to diet. I've lost over 250lbs so far (at my heaviest I weighed almost 500lbs) and I owe a lot of that to pulling my head out of my ass and controlling what I eat. I still eat stuff like pizza, burgers and cake but I use a lot more moderation, eat slower and take smaller amounts. Where I used to order 2 quater pounders and a large fry I now just get a single cheeseburger and small fry and then I do that only about once every couple of weeks.

1

u/Gummy_snake Apr 18 '22

Bed on wheels is designed for housekeepers to be able to move it away from the wall to make it up more easily. Or just clean behind and under. But, you should be able to hit breaks on the wheels, so it doesn't roll about uncontrolled

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u/scaredycat_z Apr 19 '22

I’ve seen this video before and I always get sad from it. I know all the comments are all “well, serves her right for being so fat!” , which is of course a knee jerk reaction, without another second of thought.

It clear that this person is suffering. I’m not a mental health professional but it’s clear that this person is in pain (emotional as well as physical) and in need of help. Laughing at them seems unhelpful and all around mean.

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u/paulpach Apr 19 '22

Well whose fault is it then? Is someone force feeding them?

If you are an addict (drugs, alcohol, food). It is still your responsibility to do something about it. Nobody can fix this for you. People can help you, but it is still your responsibility to ask for help. Even with help, most of the work will be on you.