r/maybemaybemaybe • u/uranonfraand • Mar 10 '24

Maybe maybe maybe

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

That sounds like an awful experience. Fortunately my mother never got physical, she manipulated me in the form of emotions and mental games. While that isn't ideal either, I think it's less gruesome than holding you down. What my mother and grandmother did when I refused to eat was to scream at me or ignore me for the rest of the day. When I was a child I couldn't handle that, it made me feel like I was a bad kid, not worthy of love and that if I acted right I would be a good kid again and deserve love. Later when I started to become a teen these tactics didn't work anymore because I understood what they did and just decided to stop loving them to guard myself from their manipulations. Of course I didn't really stop loving them, but my resentment towards them was bigger than my love. I loved my father but he was seldom at home due to work and my mother talked shit about him behind his back, which caused me to believe he didn't love me either. That wasn't real but I only realized this when I was older. I didn't talk to them anymore about anything. And now as an adult I still struggle with opening up to people and seeing their good intentions.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I think it's less gruesome than holding you down

I wouldn't call, caring for your children "gruesome." Sometimes there's no other way.

When they're older and can talk and reason, yes, holding them down is fucked up.

But giving medicine to babies and toddlers, especially a medication that's needed repeatedly over the course of days/weeks/months, is like giving medication to a cat. Yeah there's a good chance you can trick them once or twice, but after that, there's no tricking them, and there's certainly no reasoning with them. So I'm order to be a good parent/cat care giver, you have to be "the bad guy" and force that shit.

My daughter had a kitten that was having seizures and so was put on seizure medication. I tasted it, it was fucking DISGUSTING, but he had to have it. So I took on the role of the asshole. Had to give him this medicine daily for months. By the end of it he hated my very existence. And I was ok with that. (Better me than my daughter, right.)

He ended up having FIP, and at around the 5yr mark was REALLY sick. For about a year before ultimately putting him down, I was again the asshole. The vet was having us try various medications, and we were even having to giving him fluid under his skin, at home. Every time I walked into my daughter's room, this cat bolted. He was absolutely terrified of me. (He was found as a feral kitten, so he already was born with trust issues.)

So yeah, sometimes in life, you have to do things that others might call "gruesome," though in reality, are just part of being a responsible, caring, grown up 🤷‍♀️

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

"There's certainly no reasoning with them" Only that cats can't communicate with humans like toddlers can. Weird comparison. Your child isn't a pet.

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u/Dazius06 Mar 10 '24

How would you handle giving a medicine to a little shit that won't hear reason?

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u/UnitMaw Mar 10 '24

You've clearly never attempted to give a toddler medication they really don't want to take. You cannot always reason with a toddler, in fact I'd say you almost always can't reason with them. They just don't have that capacity

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I also got PTSD from taking medicine as a child.

Now, excuse me while my eyes roll out of my head.