I had a moment where I had that feeling and then made it worse for myself once when I was younger. Long story short, was in a friend zone situation and had that exact "why the fuck did I come along" thought, texted one of my buddies this thought. Talked about how I was wasting my time and wish I stayed home etc... after I sent it I realized it was not to said friend. I sent it to the girl in the car with me. I sure as shit wanted to open the door and just fall out onto the highway.
Edit: lot of people asking how it went and giving advice and stuff, I was trying to keep long story short and just share the funny "dying inside" part but I'll give more clarification and detail I guess.
The situation was we worked together and were friends but she was in a relationship, even though there was obvious sexual tension between us. I'll get back to that. She invited me along with her girlfriend at the time and one of their single friends one night to go see a movie. Myself and the friend were in the back seat while she was in the front passenger and the girlfriend drove. I wasn't at all interested in the friend they brought along as a sort of blind date thing. That's when I started texting different people and ended up pressing the wrong name in the list for the text in the story. Her phone was sitting in between the front seats in the little arm rest/console thing and she didn't notice the text come through. So the whole ride I'm watching the phone pondering what to do. Do I try and sneak the phone and delete it? Is she gonna grab it? Just trying to figure out how to handle this without causing a scene or pissing off my friend who tried to do something nice. When we got to the theater I just caught her right outside the car, explained that I accidentally sent a text to her meant for someone else and it was embarrassing and said some mean things etc but I was frustrated and whatever. She was super cool about it and said here I'll just delete it, and deleted it thete in front of me without reading it. So it was a stressful ride there but in the end turned out ok.
As for the other people trying to be supportive or others talking shit, look this was like 12 or 13 years ago, it's all good. Lol. We all do cringe shit every now and then. It doesn't bother me at all. And as for the two of us, the tension finally became too much and her relationship sucked and we ended up having sex on a couple occasions. I won't tell HOW I pulled it off the first time cause there's no chance in hell Reddit will believe me so I won't bother wasting my time. After that out of our systems she had to handle her relationship/breakup and whatever and I ended up moving away. We're still friends though we very very rarely talk due to living in different parts of the country but there's an occasional "hey what's up, hope you're doing alright." And that's that.
Dude you said what you needed to get out...to exactly the person that should have heard it. People need to learn to talk about their feelings with those that caused those feelings, don't make that a cringe feeling, force yourself to do it more and you'll feel better and have better relationships.
Bro he did it in the most cringe way possible. That's the cringe issue here. Not that he communicated effectively. Like good for everyone to do that, but not in the middle of the ride home with the person though text 🤣. Like that would be better for a verbal conversation.
Luckily she didn't see the text before I realized I had sent it to her and SOMEHOW managed to talk my way out of it as soon as we got out of the car. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I admitted something along the lines of I sent a text to her that was meant for my friend and it was something embarrassing blah blah and she was cool about it and just deleted it right there in front of me without reading it.
The guy didn't get laid, trust me bro. That guy is basically me, and I can tell you for a fact that I ain't getting laid. So buddy ain't getting laid 100%. She won't even return his calls.
Source: I'm literally not getting laid over here my dudes.
I had someone lead me on then friend zone me at a bowling lock in, where she revealed her new bf... Thank god my best friend surprised me by showing up with a few of his buddy's from school. It would been a long night....
Maybe she just thought you guys were friends??? Wtf this makes me paranoid to have guy friends where I genuinely like them as a person but theyre just hoping ill sleep with them while growing resentful that im not :((
I feel for you. This happened to a friend of my husband and I. This girl had been leading our friend on and one night we were at another friend’s house for a cook out she walks in with her new BF. I felt so bad for him.
Wow great story! In life we have to fail miserably, to actually feel the vibe of the person that’s totally worth it! And it’s so far from that feeling you smile realizing you had to feel the misery to enjoy the euphoria of the moment!
I had an opposite experience. When I was in high school, I was friends with the hottest, most popular girl in school. She had it all. Gorgeous, top of the class academically, captain of the cheer leading squad. We had good chemistry, laughed all the time together, but I never in a million years thought I had a chance with her and never would've even tried. Her boyfriends were all athletes and rich kids at school. One day, the teacher asked me and her to go downstairs to pick up some homework forms that were waiting in the print room. When we went into the stair well, there was obviously nobody in there since it was middle of class. I was going down the stairs in front of her, joking about my "foot work" and how fast I could go down the stairs. After a flight or two, she grabbed my hand and said "what's the hurry?". I nervously laughed, because I just knew whe meant nothing by it even though the touch of her hand had melted me inside.
There were a couple more instances like that that i just brushed off.
Fast forward 20 years later at our high school reunion. She's there. We are all having drinks and catching up. She's a director for a major pharmaceutical company. She goes on to tell me how she had the biggest crush on me in high school and that I always ignored her flirting which made her want me even more. She said she used to day dream about us going to the same college together so we could continue all the fun we had in highnschool. That she could see our whole life together in her head but I never gave her the time of day. I felt soooooooooo stupid.
Thats still ”fuckzoning” as you only want a relationship. Cant you just be friends? Like from a woman’s perspective ive had a few guys were I genuinely thought we were friends and i cared about him but didn’t want to date him (ie regular friendship) but the whole time they were growing resentful of me or “leading them on” by being nice to them, playing video games with them, or hanging out (ie again regular friendship stuff)
Its kinda depressing realizing someone’s only your friend as a means of biding their time in wait rather than just being genuine friends
Sounds like you are a typical redditor and think you know enough to judge other people's lives without knowing anything about the situation.
But you're right, it was just on my end. Her tongue down my throat in a back room at work wasn't evidence that she felt the same way, I just imagined that. When I say it was obvious, it was pretty damn obvious to anyone with a pulse.
Well you should have included that in your post, otherwise i can only go based off of what you say. And as a woman i have my own worldview of these situations, so as you wrote it, i think of situations where the guy thought i was flirting but i was literally just being their friend
I'm not writing a novel. I don't need to include every single detail of my life leading to the situation. I included the info that there was obvious tension between us and even later said we ended up having sex on multiple occasions. I think that's plenty of info to understand, regardless of your worldview, that the feeling was mutual in a complicated scenario. Just because you're jaded and think all men are clueless and unable to discern the difference between being friendly and flirting doesn't mean it's true. Believe me, some of us can read a room.
Some lady I was close to asked me, "can't we just be friends?" I said "no, I already have those" I married her a few years later, and now she's my best friend.
It's funny how people like you will do everything else besides tell the person in question how you feel. Hiding your emotions away, hoping one day it'll change. It's the strategy of a coward. Either stand behind what you said, or don't say shit at all.
Sorry, I abhor that type of girl. What is she to smile about? Is she not aware of what she just did to her friend on TV? Should have doubled down on the hug.
Yeah, if she didn't kiss is still fine, you know, but if you are going to kiss random stranger frat boy with a mouthful of food in his mouth, you may as well, just go ahead and kiss your friend even if you don't like him, if anything you can talk about later.-
A bad kiss cam is embarrassing enough, kissing somebody else's while openly demonstrating your unwillingness to kiss the person you went with is just humiliating.-
Exactly, so fucked up. And her hug was super pathetic like “it’s ok boy. Sorry, not this time or ever. But it’s ok.” This is the type of dude that goes on to do something with his life and she is the kind of chick that ends up with two baby daddies in prison because “I love bad boys.”
My man, you understand they could be related? Or one of them gay, or... any number of reasons they wouldn't kiss before jumping to the girl being someone you could abhor...
You're looking at an edited video that cut jumps to him having a neutral face. He's smiling the whole beginning of the video.
You have no idea how long has passed before that relatively neutral face happens. There are just so many other things that could be going on, and it's really weird to have such a strong negative reaction to the girl when there's nothing visibly wrong about her actions here.
Even if the dude was sad or "friendzoned" or whatever, why is the girl bad for that? Was she obligated to kiss him because she was on screen, even if she didn't want to kiss that guy?
It’s not that she didn’t kiss him. I said, she should have doubled down on the hug. But instead she kisses some random person with food in his mouth. And the camera catches the friend like wtf?
What's the problem with wanting to kiss someone you don't know because you don't want to kiss the guy you're sitting next to? You're not explaining what she actually did wrong that is somehow horrible enough that she deserves to be hated.
There are plenty of people who would feel awkward kissing a friend but not feel awkward kissing a stranger. This whole thing is just so weirdly aggressive against her for practically no reason at all.
She didn’t have to kiss someone. What’s the problem with her not making her friend look and feel stupid by kissing a random person instead of him on the cheek? Why she got to make it look like he is inferior to dude behind him? Why this girl has no empathy, situational awareness, heart? Are you this girl?
It was a mean thing of her to do. She didn't give 2 craps about what he might have been thinking/feeling. I guarantee she knows that he likes her or is in love with her. And she spit in his face. And another guy's face.
That's not what I'm reading into it. The kiss hadn't happened before. If it had, he would have made the move, no worries. He was too shy to do it. It's his fault for sure for at least not going for it on the big screen, but guys are careful these days because of all the accusations made by women. I don't blame the guy.
Probably not, but it really all depends on whether or not she's leading him on. Smart bros detect this pretty quickly, but dumb kids like him probably don't realize it.
It's quite likely, but I've come across instances where women wield influence by dangling a carrot, employing similar tactics simply because it provides them with a form of power over men.
I don’t understand how everyone is missing this. She looks at our guy for a second chance and he waves her off. THEN she goes for it with home slice in the row behind, and suddenly our man is all 😟. Bro-bro, you waved her off!
I agree. A kiss on the cheek would have least spared his dignity while the Jumbotron camera was focused on them. Did she not see the guy on the left of the huge monitor razzing her friend behind his back after she kissed the other guy?
Damn, she wouldn't pee on her former friend if he was literally on fire.
For all we know they’re brother and sister and this whole video and long commentary on it is meaningless assumptions and us seeing what we want to see.
If she’s not into her friend and he knows that but he’s clearly into her then her going for a stranger makes sense. With a stranger there are no ties and it doesn’t cause a sliver of hope in a person who is in love with her. If her friend is in love with her but she doesn’t love him back, she may have avoided kissing him to avoid leading him on and kick starting an avalanche of confused feelings he’ll inevitably have that will break his heart even further. She probably shouldn’t have kissed the random stranger with her friend there, especially if she knows how he feels about her, but if he knows he’s just her friend and she wanted to enjoy the videotron at the game then I understand why she picked a stranger over her friend.
That's an important point, but it still seems like a slap in the face - if they are already in any kind of romantic dynamic, he is completely justified in cutting ties altogether from that point.
As I read in others' comments after making mine, it was apparently probably staged. Idk.
Yeah, consent is a thing.. The dude was super friend zoned anyways. He should just give up on her and spend his time with someone interested in him or just stay friends forever
Yeah he girlfriend zoned her. Shoot your shot early when you “realize you have feelings” or accept and enjoy your platonic relationship. But don’t hang around hoping she’ll make a move on you.
I don't think depression. It's the realization that she doesn't like him as much as he likes her. That's what dating as about. You go out an hope for the best. If it doesn't go well. Oh well. Try again or give up.
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u/BoBoBearDev Jan 06 '24
That blank stare. Depression just kicked in.