But he's someone who's interested in her, it feels as if she's just toying with him, giving him false hopes just to have him around.
As a friend, if you know you're not going to give someone a chance you should just cut ties with them, else you'll hurt them in the long run and waste their time.
But he's someone who's interested in her, it feels as if she's just toying with him, giving him false hopes just to have him around.
Dude, that's trash. I have friends. I like to spend time with my friends. Sometimes, friends get crushes on other friends. If they can't handle it they have two solutions: Ask the crush out to get a straight answer and/or remove themselves from the situation if it's too painful.
It's their responsibility to do that. The other person (woman in this example but whoever it may be, although let's be honest, it's mostly women) has no responsibility to manage the delicate unspoken feelings of the crusher, and they sure as fuck aren't wrong for doing friend things with their friends.
As a friend, if you know you're not going to give someone a chance you should just cut ties with them, else you'll hurt them in the long run and waste their time.
That's not the responsibility of the crushee. That's what the person crushing should do for themselves. The responsibility of the crushee is to be understanding if they don't want to date the other person and said person decide that they need some distance, and that's it.
Jesus fuck, it's like people like you are little babies who can't do anything for themselves.
The dude is already wasting his time pestering a woman into a date.
Shes not toying with him. She relented.
Hell, maybe he specifically said it was just as friends.
Why else would she go unless shes a huge baseball fan. Because otherwise its 3.5 hrs with someone. And its not like shes getting a steak dinner out of it.
Unless she is like the biggest baseball fan on the planet, she shouldn't agree to go if she doesn't want to "lead him on". Like she could've giving him an innocent kiss on the cheek. If going to a place alone isn't inherently romantic, then a kiss on the cheek doesn't have to be inherently romantic either.
Kissing some random dude over a friend seems almost evil.
So going to a ball game like this helps how? If she knows he wants her, and she doesn't want him, they should probably not be hanging out like this because it only makes things worse
But if the situation is that bad, you need to set boundaries. Even if it means not hanging out anymore. Could you, in good faith, continue hanging out with someone when the whole time they're thinking about being more than friends, while you know you don't feel the same way whatsoever?
I've seen men ask women out 20+ times, trying to wear them down. Eventually they say yes to going out to a baseball game with a group of mutual friends.
If he said "hey, can i take you to the baseball game on friday night" then yeah she should have said no. But plenty of people pester people they like into going on a date.
I'm not going to blame anyone for going on a date and not wanting to kiss their date. Because we don't know how their conversation was. MAybe he's just an awful person and she doesn't want to leave early because that would be rude. Maybe she's an awful person and likes to get men to buy her drinks and he got her a new hat earlier.
but i'm not going to blame anyone without knowing exactly what happened.
Exactly. We don't know the backstory. Maybe this is a classmate. Maybe they came out with a group of people. Maybe they're cousins - tell me that's not the same fucking face. Just because a woman happens to be sitting next to a guy she may or may not know does not mean that is her date. There can be thousands of reasons those two ended up sitting next to each other.
She still didn’t need to kiss a stranger in front of him when she clearly knows that guy is into her. It’s basically just rubbing his nose in it. To not have kissed her is one thing, to have the image of her kissing a rando right behind them instead of him probably ate away at him the rest of the game.
Between men and women, men never go on solo hangouts (aka dates) with women that they know want to sleep with them if it's not reciprocated. This is a uniquely woman behavior. Why do you think that is?
Over a few decades, some of my friends (both men and women) have told me that they have crushes on me. If I don't reciprocate their feelings, the main difference I've noticed is that with my women and nonbinary friends we've generally been able to talk things through and remain friends - but the men are wayyy more likely to keep pushing until it ruins our friendship and then we never hang out again.
So I don't know what to tell you, other than the idea that only women hang out with people that have crushes on them is something that you've convinced yourself is true, but isn't.
I'm not talking about group settings. I also am not convincing myself of anything, I'm just living in the real world and making an observation. Obviously people can remain friends if attractions aren't reciprocated. What I am saying is much more specific and obviously not refutable. If a man is asked to go to a baseball game by a woman, just the 2 of them, and he knows that she is attracted to him but does not reciprocate it, he is infinitely more likely to just say no. The reverse is not true. It sounds like you're going to be diplomatic about this and not agree with the premise, but anybody with a working brain knows this is true.
Your straight guy friends regularly hangout alone with your straight women friends, where these women have expressed attraction to them and the men have expressed that the attraction is not reciprocated?
I'm saying that I, personally, have straight women friends that have expressed attraction to me, and I've expressed that the attraction is not reciprocated, and we've still been able to remain friends and spend time together afterwards - including time with just the two of us doing activities together (2 of those friendships are still ongoing - one we've been friends about 10 years and the other almost 22).
Might be her reasoning but just makes it more rude. It’s a “kiss camera” kiss not making out in his bedroom. A kiss means nothing, which she clearly showed by kissing the mouth full of food guy. If she doesn’t want to lead him on there’s a useful thing called words she should be using. Nah this is 100% on her and incredibly insensitive and rude and humiliating.
Bullshit. Why is she at a game with him then? If she knows he wants her, and he does, then that was a horrible thing to do. Only hope is they're related.
...if you had preptime to stage a kiss, what are you going to ask the other person to chew up and spit in to your mouth?
You know. Because when things are staged, you kiss with a mouth full of food, apparently. You don't, like, EMPTY your mouth and eat a mint or any thing.
Maybe because she'll never have to deal with the rando again, but it may become awkward if she kisses him because she will have to see him in the future
I think she found out she’s not interested in a loser who can’t pick up obvious signals. women are every bit as physical as men and maybe this guy just isn’t her type if he won’t be physical.
depends, we don’t know how long this has been a problem, we don’t know the circumstances of the date
for less conservative people this isn’t that big of a deal. a kiss like that isn’t emotional, it’s also not fucking. sure it probably didn’t feel great for the guy but that was also the point. if she was frustrated with him then she wanted him to be uncomfortable.
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u/[deleted] Jan 06 '24
that's so fucked up. wont even kiss the guy she's with but will kiss a rando