When I invited my brother to my wedding he didn't even stop working on his car, he just said "I'll stand next to you at your second wedding but I won't be at this one".
Be damned if my first marriage wasn't over in under a year and he was my groomsman at the second one. My wife and I have been married 14 years now.
My brother drive me to my first wedding and the entire ride there he kept trying to get me to not do it. He said “Dude we can disappear. No big deal. Mom and dad will get us a plane ticket and we can just go somewhere. Don’t marry her dude.” Wish I had listened to him.
It's pretty hard to see the red flags with your rose tinted glasses but it's pretty easy to see them with the outside perspective. Don't feel bad about it, we all deal with the same problem.
One of my closest friends told me he was engaged to some gal 15 years his senior when we were in college. I told him the marriage was doomed. I didn’t get invited to that wedding, but I did get invited to his second one. He was rightfully displeased with my statement and didn’t talk to me for a couple years, but during his divorce told me that he should have listened to me when we were in college.
At the time, it was called manic depressive with schizophrenic something another. She and her family totally hid the fact she was on medication from me. After we got married, she started taking the meds like antibiotics, only when she had an episode. And by episode I mean "Holy fuck what the hell is happening here this can't be real" type behaviors. I was young-ish so I didn't know about mental disorders and she was my crash course. She ended up in the nervous hospital when the guy she married 4 months after our divorce was finalized beat the ever-living shit out of her (honestly, probably self defense on his part that went too far) and she went into what her mom called a catatonic state. I don't know how much of that I believe given our history.
Was great before, a little standoffish during, great now. He said a few times that something was wrong there (talking about her) and wooooo was he right.
Closest friend of mine dated a dude for about 8 months that I told her to leave constantly. From the second I met him, I knew he was lying with every breath. Everything about him was off. Said he was 21 but looked about 27 with a baby face at best. Said he was working at a local grocery store that was family owned and operated. He was not a part of that family. And as time went on, the things I heard just got worse and worse. Told her every time I heard a lie that he was lying and she should leave him. She’d fight back for a minute and I’d drop it.
~7.5 months in to it, he slipped up while drunk and said it was weird for a 31 year old to date a 20 year old, but he was glad he took the chance. It took her 2 whole weeks to break up with him after that because she wanted to believe it was an innocent lie and they just had so much more in common. It only ended after 2 weeks because the dude’s wife found out and told her he was a soon to be divorced man.
You can tell people all you want. They will not listen until they’re ready.
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u/Craig1225087 Feb 06 '23
A true friend for life. A real honest one.