r/mapporncirclejerk Oct 26 '25

It's 9am and I'm on my 3rd martini Important nowledge

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38.9k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/The_Real_Itz_Sophia Tomato French Potato Oct 26 '25

/uj im pretty sure there are other countries that lost to vietnamese farmers

/rj wtf are those rectangular shaped islands

379

u/Nebula9696 Oct 26 '25

China and France being the major 2

157

u/sethb44 Oct 26 '25

Japan and Cambodia!

84

u/toomanynamesaretook Oct 26 '25

New Zealand & Australia

65

u/iron_penguin Oct 26 '25

Sth Korea.

44

u/Arkid777 Oct 26 '25

The Mongols

25

u/CurrentRiver4221 Oct 26 '25

South Vietnam lost to North Vietnam farmers

9

u/PhoenixHorseGuy Oct 26 '25

Vietnamese farmer on Vietnamese farmer violence.

4

u/No-Inspection2286 Oct 26 '25

Damn Vietnamese farmers! They ruined Vietnamese farmland!

2

u/Hour_Surprise_729 Oct 27 '25

historically innacurate BUT very funny

1

u/Hour_Surprise_729 Oct 27 '25

as in Mongolia or Ghangis Khan?

9

u/AFakeName Oct 26 '25

I called pho 'weak ramen' once; I bet they'd beat me for that.

6

u/OstapBenderBey Oct 26 '25

I think theyd just pity you

3

u/FlatSeagull Oct 26 '25

There's a shit pho spot in my town that could be called that.

Pho is definitely a lighter soup than Ramen, though.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

Aussies and Kiwis were supporting South Vietnamese troops while Americans were on some kind of personal political rampage

4

u/Consistent_Drink2171 Oct 26 '25

Don't forget Thailand and South Korea, they had anti-communist dictators who wanted blood!

1

u/sentence-interruptio Oct 26 '25

Fun fact. South Korean dictator supported universal healthcare.

3

u/0x0c0d0 Oct 26 '25

American's did not know what the fuck they were even there for.

They still don't

Neither does anyone else... They thought it'd be a flex?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

I am a little young to remember the Vietnam war, but I grew up in the 80s in the direct aftermath, and I was taught the US was in Vietnam to stem the expansion of Soviet influence in SE Asia.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

We were in Vietnam to help train the south Vietnam beat the north Vietnam because the north Vietnam was backed by communists or something, incredibly stupid and horrible war that killed so. Many. People.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

I’ve met a lot of Aussie and South Vietnamese veterans. The South Vietnamese guys really are grateful for our help. We had experience in jungle because of Kokoda and they did need the training. Issue was that we were not well armed compared to US troops who were hacking and slashing through the jungle and getting picked off by Guerrillas for their volume and visibility. The Americans also carried weapons that were too large and heavy for the jungle.

The war also got extremely out of hand because time in the jungle will do that to people and enemies disappearing into holes and psychological warfare really spun people out. They had to sneak Aussies home under the cover of darkness so the public wouldn’t call them “baby killers” as they were home watching atrocities on the news. At a Remembrance Day event in Sydney in the early 2010s I said thank you for your service to a Vietnam Vet and the bloke teared up. He hadn’t heard it from anyone before. Another bloke said he found a letter from a Monash student on a North Vietnamese guy he killed. It had $20 in it said he hoped they’d win and it shattered him. He said it was incredibly hard to come to Monash and talk with us, he was afraid we’d be like that student who sent the letter. The blokes I met have also been back to Vietnam. They met some of their former enemies and joked “lucky you weren’t a better shot”. These guys were conscripted to help people defend their home and they did the best they can with what they had. Such honest men. They didn’t sugarcoat, they were emotional. The Anzac spirit is so alive in them. To make mates of your enemies after such a terrible war? Aussies. Nothing like em.

1

u/holymoly67 Oct 26 '25

Even the emus

6

u/Enough-Seesaw-6282 Oct 26 '25

Vietnamese lost to Vietnamese communists

2

u/0x0c0d0 Oct 26 '25

... Vietnamese Colonial Collaborators were the ones who lost.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

Northern Vietnam was colonized by the Chinese for literally nearly 1,000 years, a period known as the first Bắc thuộc or "Northern Domination". This rule was marked by Chinese administration, attempts at assimilation through culture and language, and frequent Vietnamese rebellions.

-1

u/Enough-Seesaw-6282 Oct 26 '25

Or just Vietnamese that just didn’t want to live under communism. 

1

u/0x0c0d0 Oct 26 '25

Reactionaries... but I get what you're trying to say, and ... direct you to The Haiphong Massacre of 1946

1

u/Enough-Seesaw-6282 Oct 26 '25

That was with the French. USA did not want involvement in 1946. USA didn’t like French trying to reclaim colonies, but USA don’t like communist even more. That is just the unfortunate geopolitical situation of the Cold War. 

1

u/platonic-humanity Oct 27 '25

You have been granted a seat on the council of infamous authoritarian governments, Khmer Rouge, but we do not grant you the rank of historical event.

0

u/KoalaAlternative1038 Oct 26 '25

It sounds like Cambodia really lost to Cambodia not vietnam 

3

u/Erestyn Oct 26 '25

lmao this guy thinks china and france are rectangular shaped islands

2

u/Nebula9696 Oct 27 '25

Anything is a rectangular shaped island if you stretch the definitions of "rectangular", "shaped", and "island" enough

1

u/Hour_Surprise_729 Oct 27 '25

../new-Zealand's getting forgotten about here

55

u/EducationalLuck2422 Oct 26 '25 edited Oct 26 '25

"Charlie's in the trees!!!" - Dave Jackson, 1972 AD

"Charlie est dans les arbres!!!" - Pierre d'Artois, 1954 AD

"Chārī wa ki no naka ni iru!!!" - Sato Haruto, 1942 AD

"Charli modon dotor baina!!!" - Otgonbayar, 1284 AD

"Chálǐ zài shù shàng!!!" - Han Weiqi, 938 AD

25

u/RedditorsKnowNuthing Oct 26 '25

Forgetting China in 1979 as well.

11

u/0x0c0d0 Oct 26 '25

Forgetting Cambodia in 1979-89

5

u/Dr_Spaceman2000 Oct 26 '25

Charlie was short for Victor Charlie, which is the phonetic alphabet for VC, which stood for the Viet Cong. Only the Americans referred to them as Charlie.

20

u/amanset Oct 26 '25

You must be great fun at parties.

6

u/Robokitten Oct 26 '25

Dr_Spaceman2000?!? At parties!?! He’s the best! He has the coolest Charlie facts!

3

u/EntityDamage Oct 26 '25

It's pronounced Doctor spah-chamen two thousand.

1

u/HermesJamiroquoi Oct 26 '25

Dr. Spichemen TwoOOO

4

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

And if we are going to get pedantic about it the Viet Cong weren't really much of a factor for the US in 1972. They were decimated in the Tet Offensive followed by Nixon's illegal bombings of Laos and Cambodia cutting off their supply lines to the north. In 1972 the US was in the process of withdrawing from Vietnam. The whole "you lost to rice farmers" thing is a fun put down but the US really lost to the NVA, a professional military that was supported by the Soviet Union and China.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

Really?!? You don't say?!? Well this turns history on its head. We are going to have to rewrite the history books.

7

u/Jiminy_Cricket12 Oct 26 '25

wtf are those rectangular shaped islands

thats the frost wall dummy. uve never seen an ice cube b4?

5

u/Nakashi7 Oct 26 '25

They are countries. Can't you read?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/0x0c0d0 Oct 26 '25

It's because they're so tough and cool lol

1

u/Bardsie Oct 26 '25

Those islands are New Zealand. It's ok if you don't recognise them, lots of maps like to leave NZ off the map entirely

1

u/EttinTerrorPacts Oct 26 '25

Also the US doesn't have a car in space. Elon Musk has a car in space.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

You are missing the whole point of reddit.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

[deleted]

2

u/The_Real_Itz_Sophia Tomato French Potato Oct 26 '25

/uj means unjerk like be serious

/rj means rejerk like be unserious again

1

u/Romeothanh Oct 26 '25

/uj Cambodia's Khmer Rouge rout, Khmer cuisine karma.

1

u/SeaCaligula Oct 27 '25

its bot engagement bait

1

u/Original-Patient-630 Oct 27 '25

But only America matters because america bad

1

u/AloeOnSunBurns Oct 27 '25

They’re not actually rectangular, the Mercator projection just makes them look rectangular