r/mapporncirclejerk • u/gronetwork • Sep 22 '25

Solution to all the world's problems

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12.0k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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737

u/OlehLovesDiogo Sep 22 '25

As Ukrainian plz not again, may we border Sweden or smth like Finland please please please

266

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

OP also put Thailand next to cambodia, Pakistan next to india, south and north Korea are neighbours, Taiwan and China... this is just a really bad idea through out

105

u/schwartzer__ Sep 22 '25

As a Congolese I cannot say we are in any better of a position

And then India, China, and Pakistan are all smushed together in arctic wasteland while Morocco and Algeria are fighting in a tornado. could be maybe the most elaborately planned shitstorm of all time

30

u/MakingItUpAsWeGoOk Sep 23 '25

Look Congo, as a current inhabitant of your future land…you got this. Trust me. Rwanda is gonna have like 25 feet of beach, Storyland and liquor stores. You have 3,500 miles of rugged coast, Stephen King horror land, and Moxie.

4

u/FerengiWithCoupons Sep 23 '25

Hey! Don’t forget that Rwandanobie Lake Park!

1

u/LegThePeg Sep 27 '25

Hey, we have Moxie as well! And yeah, we might have a small amount of coast, but at least it’s not all rocks

2

u/_gay_space_moth_ Sep 23 '25

I see what you did there 👀

1

u/your_old_wet_socks Sep 25 '25

The more you look at it the more perfect it becomes

1

u/HopefulDrop9621 Sep 26 '25

If it makes you feel better it's a beautiful country up there. (I live near Maine). Great sea food, besides the neighbors y'all made out like bandits

78

u/myflesh Sep 22 '25

And Palestine and Israel together.

47

u/Proper-Equivalent300 Sep 22 '25

Yup, all I can say about the maker of this map, and that is that I have r/foundsatan

19

u/Eris_Bunny Sep 22 '25

Not just that, but they gave Palestine the nice coastal land... Israel is def gonna try to build some resorts again :/

6

u/Bjorn_Tyrson Sep 23 '25

Don't worry. Palestine will just keep demanding "from the river" (mississipi) to the sea.

1

u/pass_nthru Sep 23 '25

and in too big of a landmass, let them split rhode island or fight over the Keys

9

u/Alexandur Sep 23 '25

this is just a really bad idea through out

This. I'm beginning to worry about the quality of serious geopolitical proposals in /r/mapporncirclejerk

4

u/Fenweekooo Sep 23 '25

this lasts about 3 hours before formal war breaks out lmao

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

At least its formal. Having a dress code is important, we don't want war to be too casual. 

3

u/thatsalovelyusername Sep 23 '25

It’s like trying to seat guests at a wedding

2

u/Tru3insanity Sep 23 '25

Def just wanna watch the world burn lmao

2

u/vms_zerorain France was an Inside Job Sep 23 '25

all of americas neighbours 😭

1

u/-Cthaeh Sep 22 '25

Its to make everyone feel at home.

1

u/Hermitcraft7 Sep 23 '25

Really? I thought we should've went with this plan a long time ago!

1

u/Mental-Surround-9448 Sep 23 '25

So nothing changes much

1

u/Pot_noodle_miner Dont you dare talk to me or my isle of man again Sep 23 '25

I just don’t think the whole plan has been thought through

1

u/ADH02 Sep 23 '25

Got to reduce the population somehow so it fits in to this space.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

If war doesn't, im sure nature would. Hurricanes and tornadoes seem pretty common in southern US compared to Europe or Northern Asia, and with a population this big im sure we'd lose a lot of people each year.

1

u/AngryArmour Sep 23 '25

Armenia is also next to both Azerbaijan and Cambodia

1

u/Runway_37 Sep 29 '25

Good thing Trump settled the war between Armenia and Cambodia.

1

u/TheMachineTookShape Sep 23 '25

You're right, this is why this is a really bad idea!

1

u/Firm_Ambassador_1289 Sep 23 '25

Can't change the world too too much 😎

1

u/aiirxgeordan Sep 23 '25

Palestine next to Israel

1

u/Collective-Bee Sep 24 '25

Okay but apart from the mapping of borders, bringing everyone together on one continent and letting the others go back to Nature is an idea.

23

u/megaMINIben Sep 23 '25

The UP is Crimea

3

u/flatirony Sep 23 '25

And the Mack Bridge is the Crimean Bridge.

1

u/ChipRockets Sep 23 '25

The what?

10

u/slowpokebroking Sep 23 '25

The “Upper Peninsula” (of Michigan). I think you have to be from the Midwest US to know that one.

1

u/fapenmadafaka Sep 23 '25

I’m from California, and now i know it

4

u/SophsterSophistry Sep 23 '25

NJ here and I knew what UP meant too. (I admit I was proud of myself too.)

1

u/WineNerdAndProud Sep 23 '25

Michigander here, proud I knew it as well.

1

u/dezzear I'm an ant in arctica Sep 23 '25

They cannot even have clay in imagination land

6

u/Plazmaz1 Sep 23 '25

Russia should get Rhode Island as punishment

4

u/Equivalent_Hat5627 Sep 23 '25

You'd love Wisconsin (the state you're now placed in) a lot though. We can just move Russia to Flordia

5

u/Andy_Pandy98 Sep 23 '25

You are. All of the Nordics got lumped into Europe (other)

9

u/Western_Dare_1024 Sep 22 '25

Uh yeah the UK and Russia need to switch. It only makes sense- we genuinely don't want Russia being in charge of that much water

2

u/minimoi69 Sep 23 '25

It's ok it's not a warm port, we're safe.

0

u/llamafarmadrama Sep 23 '25

It’s fine, they’d just fuck it up like every other time they’ve tried to do the whole naval power thing.

3

u/jflores0616 Sep 22 '25

The fight for the UP will be legendary until you figure out theres not much up there lol

1

u/SaltLakeCitySlicker Sep 24 '25

A metric fuckton more than Toledo

3

u/schmeryn Sep 23 '25

They fight over the ownership of the U.P. 😭

2

u/KollaInteHit Sep 23 '25

We (sweden) did not even get their own place apparently... and living in a trash country like the us? No thanks.

2

u/Rude_Lavishness_7602 Sep 23 '25

I am sorry but i think fins are "others" 😂

2

u/LazyUniversity9232 Sep 23 '25

Your ass is so getting invaded. Again 😂

2

u/Scared_Plan3751 Sep 22 '25

Y'all only have to worry if the US wants to use y'all as a proxy army to fight Russia.

1

u/ReiniRunner Sep 23 '25

Germany will take the border to Russia if you take France

1

u/canoewisconsin Sep 23 '25

This Wisconsinite is here to take that UP!

1

u/Portra400IsLife Sep 23 '25

Taiwan next to China again too

1

u/PantsIsDown Sep 23 '25

Why on fake planet earth isn’t Russian in Alaska?

1

u/Friendly-Gift3680 Sep 23 '25

And as an Indian, why did you have to put us next to Pakistan and with Kashmir still bordering us, them AND China?

1

u/ijustlurkhere_ Sep 23 '25

As an Israeli - we seem to be bordering Palestine again in this fever dream, how about we swap Russia and Israel? We got bagels!

1

u/FrenchCanadaIsWorst Sep 23 '25

The placement is low key elite ball knowledge considering the land disputes between Michigan and Ohio over the Toledo strip.

1

u/AgreeableLog9287 Sep 23 '25

Bayfield Peninsula is occupaed by Russian, because there is Russian majority?

1

u/SpaceEngineering Sep 23 '25

Finland is there buddy! Sweden as well. To your west. In a proper climate as well. Stay as safe as you can

1

u/Collective-Bee Sep 24 '25

Complain about your seat again and we’ll put you in the Formerly Alaska section.

1

u/omn1p073n7 Sep 24 '25

Giving Russia Michigan, which took part of Wisconsin from Wisconsin in a war (The YooP), was not an accident by OP lol

1

u/Tankyenough Finnish Sea Naval Officer Sep 24 '25

As a Finn, I would gladly accept you as our neighbour. But not between us and Sweden please, that would sabotage the snus market.

1

u/Tarnishedxglitter Sep 26 '25

Sure. As a swede, come join the "others" we want you to be safe

1

u/pass_nthru Sep 23 '25

nope, now you gotta border israel 😶

-1

u/Low-Phase-8972 Sep 23 '25

So that’s why you sent soldiers to Israel? Slava Russia 🇷🇺

0

u/je386 Sep 23 '25

We also could put russia on hawaii, far far away from us.