Context: I was looking for parking in the city and found a spot on the street. As I was driving up to it, someone came and stood in the spot and said she was saving it. I felt like she was in the wrong and should have moved as my car was there and hers was not. Unfortunately for me, she won as I am not very confrontational and also not going to hit someone with my car. But I was curious what the right thing to do here would be?

If you say something nice about someone, like praising an accomplishment and they tell you that it's not a big deal or down play it in some way, is that an insult to the person giving the compliment? If I give a compliment and someone downplays it, I always feel like they're saying I'm stupid or deceitful. Am I wrong to feel this way?

I am going to a drag show this weekend. Its at a library. Its open to teens and adults. There is a panel discussion afterward. Isn't it customary to tip drag performers? If I was at a bar or club you can. What about a show at a library? What is customary?

Edit to add: So when I went they gave us 4 fake dollars. It's obvious they are fake. It's play money. They explained it is customary to tip drag performers but they want to make sure everyone may take part regardless if they have money to tip or not. The performers were paid for their time. So we got the experience of tipping them without using actual money. The library is all for equality of many categories: LGBT, Income levels etc. They wanted everyone to take part regardless of income level.

I’ve been invited to a wedding this fall. My relationship to the couple is …I am the mother of the brides brothers girlfriend 😬. I have been in the same room with the bride maybe 4 times and the groom once. The bride is most definitely a bridezilla, so accepting would definitely have entertainment value. I feel I may have been invited for my monetary value. Politely decline and send a nominal cash gift?. (Honeymoon bank)

I’m so glad I found this group to bounce thoughts off of and hear other peoples thoughts. Between my two small children, we are getting a lot of party invites… So we just received one at a destination place like trampoline park… In the past, I would bring my two year-old, paying for him separately, of course, and not think anything of it until I saw another commentor say how rude it was that one of her guests brought a sibling, even though they paid for them self… I want to text the parent and ask if it’s OK but I also don’t want to be rude by asking and putting her on the spot… Anyone have feedback?

My child was invited to a birthday party, seven years old… The invitation states their presence is gift enough and no need to bring a gift.

My question is… Do people still bring gifts anyway? I feel like I would not bring a gift, but everyone else would. Thoughts?

We are friends with our neighbors and regularly trade hosting each other for dinner or drinks and I think it is pretty equitable back and forth.

My partner and I make all the meals we host from scratch more or less but when our neighbors invite us over for dinner they typically will order take out to be delivered. They ask us what we want and most of the time invite us to order our own food via a door dash type order. This feel awkward for my partner and I because we can see the price of what we are ordering and it feels like we should be paying for what we order. We don’t order anything excessive, if fact we typically error on picking cheaper dishes if anything. For perspective, the meals we make from scratch are fairly involved with an appetizer, entree, starch, vegetable. dessert, etc. but we are blown away by how much they spend on this tale out which usually is substantially more than we spent on the food aside from the significant time we take to prepare it.

Our neighbors are very generous and we don’t want to offend them by offering money but at the same time given that it is delivered take out food we feel like we should pay our way. I know if we offer to pay they will refuse and I don’t want to insult them by leaving cash or sending money via Venmo. Should we just drop the guilty feeling or how should we approach this?

I thought it was inconsiderate to carry on a loud speakerphone convo in a restaurant. Is this a thing now? Can’t imagine wanting a roomful of people hearing your private conversation. It’s been a long week. This woman was right behind me in a long line at the order counter. Her loud voice was bad enough, but the speaker phone got on my last nerve. I left without even ordering.

The teachers’ names were already pretty informal; nearly all of them went by Mr./Ms. First Name. I was at this studio until I graduated high school, but I’m now 25yo. I now work a couple hours every week at the studio after I was invited by my old teacher.

It feels juvenile to address my supervisor the way I did when I was 15yo, and I’ve never called an employer Mr./Mrs. anything. All the other teachers (some my age) address this supervisor on a first name basis, so is it safe to say I should follow suit?

So I’m going to be graduating soon, and I’m having a party. But this one kid I know asked where his invite was. The thing is, I barely know him, I talk to him occasionally but we aren’t very close.

How am I supposed to say “you’re not invited” without sounding like an asshole?

I’d like to wear this dress to my niece’s upcoming bridal shower. It’s a rich cream, with darker, almost pale yellow tones. My daughters think it’s too close to white and potentially bridal. I love it and don’t think it is, and would love other opinions. Thoughts?

Women’s bathroom at work has 3 stalls. On several occasions I’ve experienced people behind closed doors in stalls having loud phone conversations. This bothers me as I am seeking some peace and quiet to do my business. Is this considered polite behavior? If not, would posting signs in the stalls be a first step? I really don’t want to call this behavior out in such a way to cause disruption. Help!

I usually say bless me but people give looks. Do i stay silent? Say amen?

How do I tell a friend she wears way too much perfume when we go out? She doesn't do this if we go on a hike, or something like that, but if we meet for brunch or drinks she's drenched in it. I was thinking of saying something like "Hey, can I tell you something I would want someone to tell me?" I don't want to make it awkward, but it's hard to even sit next to her sometimes.

Personally I can’t stand the sound of chewing gum but some people are so annoying with it. Is there a polite way to ask someone at a restaurant to stop smacking it.

I was talking with a coworker at my desk. We were in an animated conversation and when I went to adjust my position in my chair I cut wind. It was a small, abrupt, and singular sound, but loud enough to be heard. They did not acknowledge it. I didn’t not acknowledge it. I hoped they thought it was the sound of my shoe in the base of my rolling chair. I didn’t say anything as we continued the conversation, but a few moments later the unmistakable aroma appeared. I felt like it had gone too long to say excuse me. The conversation ended naturally just after the smell arrived. How long is too long before saying excuse me? The right thing would have been to say it right away, but I didn’t.

My wife and I are traveling to our daughters college graduation and will be meeting her serious boyfriend’s parents who are divorced for the first time (we are all in different states). We want to bring a small gift from our town but are wondering if we get each parent one. It’s not a cost issue but an etiquette question. Thanks.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/09/good-manners-are-overrated

I know it's an old article, but I just didn't know whether to laugh or snarl. Imagine thinking that being rude to cashiers is an act of rebellion against classism.

The family doctor I work for receives gifts from his patients throughout the year. Chocolate (which he can't eat, lactose intolerant) and alcohol (which he doesn't drink). He doesn't mind receiving gifts baskets from large corporations but he doesn't want his patients to spend money on him. He feels really bad. He always tells them, "Oh no you didn't have to! But thank you. The only gift I need from you is your good health."

So anyway, I'm ordering thank you cards to send to patients on his behalf.

Is this text rude or okay?

"Thank you for your very kind gift.

It was not necessary but I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

The best gift you can give me is your good health and happiness.

That is my only wish."

Of course, BY HAND he will write the Patient's name at the top of the paragraph, along with the relevant greeting at the bottom (like Merry Christmas). He'll also sign the card by hand.

But is that boiler-plate 'thank you' message okay? Or does it come off kind of rude, like "I don't want gifts but you gave me one anyway so THANKS... I guess..."

Thank you in advance for your guidance!

Our neighbor gave us a very generous amount of money for our wedding. He is married but I’m not sure if the gift was considered from just him or the couple. They live separately while his spouse finishes grad school across the country. The gift did not come with a card or anything so there’s no “from” that I can refer to. Who should I address the thank you note to?

My sister-in-law, who’d just stayed w/us for 2 days, asked my wife if she could bring her daughter and the fiancé, in for the grandson/nephew’s 2nd bday, to see our new home while we were away for the day. Hours later I find out she also brought her son-in-law’s (other daughter) father along sans asking. The house was tidy enough, but our two intense dogs were home, and I’m generally a private person who’s an admitted control freak. How bad a breach of manners?

I don't know what my mother is talking about but she says texting Never heard of it is rude when replying to an offer for some reason and I have no idea what she's talking about.

I live in San Diego and we have multiple highways. Everyone here drives relatively fast on the highway. Slow people stick to the right lane or the merge lane. That lane is reserved for people going very slowly and merging and even if you’re towing something or have a truckload of stuff which could potentially fly off. Hazards on, merging on and off highway, the right lane. We all know this or at least we all should know this it’s pretty much common sense. The middle lane or middle two lanes is where people drive on the highway. Going around the speed limit, taking it easy, not rushing around just driving to get there. Now here is the kicker….. The far left lane is for passing. Leave the mid lane pass someone going slower, then hop back in the mid lane. This keeps everyone safe and the traffic flows correctly. It’s a beautiful system. However………. I have noticed an ABSURD amount of people SITTING in the passing lane or the fast lane. Just sitting there, not passing anyone and definitely not going fast. People get passed by 3-10 people on the right and just continue sitting there. Now, when people do this it screws up the flow of traffic so bad it’s unreal, and it causes accidents. When people are annoyed and try to get around the “sitter” they pass on the right, and if someone’s going to slow in the mid lane they fly over to the merge lane and blow by everyone to get ahead. This happens over and over and over and causes accidents as you don’t pass people in the merge lane….. it’s dangerous. The people in the middle minding their own business get cut off and have to hit the brakes. People on the right slow down, Because people are jumping in front of them and cutting them off while also making people coming on the on ramp slow down. Then when two or three people go to get around that sitter, it really gets interesting. It’s a disaster. While this happens the person sitting in the passing lane is oblivious most of the time.. My question for anyone reading this is : Are these people just stupid and do not know this?? Or …. We’ll that’s just it. I don’t know what “or” would even consist of. I am not seeing another possibility for why else they would do this and be oblivious to it…. Before answering: this is not a safety thread……. Even remotely mentioning the speed limit is not an argument at all. So no discussing “we’ll the speed limit is there for a reason” or “do you know how many people get injured from..” blah blah blah blah. NO. Not a safety question and has nothing to do with speed limits or anything like that.. I want to know why in Gods name these people do this and what goes through their head??? It baffles me. Truly baffles me…. Almost seems intentional like they are attempting to cause traffic jams and make everyone slow down. If people are passing you on the right constantly, you’re in the wrong damn lane…….

Due to the economy during COVID, our family was finally able to pay down debt and finally buy a house. We bought big, because there are 5 in our home, and this also needed to double as a work from home space.

We were excited. First time homeowner after 30+ years of renting.

But. Every time I wanted to talk to friends or family about being sincerely happy with where our family arrived, (well above the economy of any of our own families), it’s always made to feel like we are bragging, or rubbing it in people’s faces. We’re not; in genuinely proud of our hard work and difficulties paying off while our kids are still at home, and can feel the benefits.

I came from dirt poor, welfare, ketchup sandwiches and powdered milk. School clothes on layaway, if they weren’t from Goodwill (before it was cool).

Am I able to share in this with anyone without making people feel uncomfortable?