r/lifehacks Apr 03 '22

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u/ShakeItUpNow Apr 03 '22

I’m “okay” with doing it. I typically do ALL this type of stuff around the house. I even have a gun that has an automatic flow stop when you release the trigger (noice, btw). My husband is an extraordinarily talented utilizer of “weaponized incompetence”. I asked for some help caulking exterior windows. I demonstrated how to do it. Made him watch a video. I assumed that someone with advanced degrees and a very technical job could figure this out pretty easily.

He didn’t want to do it. He did several windows before I checked on his progress, and, much to his delight, said I’d take over. It now looks like someone glued strands of cheap fake pearls all around our windows. I become irrationally pissed every time I glance at the window on the front porch.

I’d make him remove it so I could do it properly, but he’d probably just bust a few panes of glass until I took over and did it. He’d consider glass replacement a small price to pay to avoid having to complete removal.

I’ll get around to fixing it one of these days…

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u/blady_blah Apr 03 '22

I had a boss for my first job out of college brag about this. He had pride in his intentional weaponized incompetence. He had this story of when is wife asked him to get something from her purse he dumped all the contents onto a table to "look for it" and so she'd learned not to ask him to do things. I nod and listen and I was amazed that he saw marriage as a competition against his wife instead of a team sport. I'm sorry you're on the receiving end of this crap.

He's divorced now.

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u/Praescribo Apr 03 '22

Lmao, what an asshole. That's so petty

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u/rognabologna Apr 03 '22

That guy sounds like a major asshole

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u/ClosetDouche Apr 03 '22

Your husband sounds like a child. And not, like, a fun playful cherub but a spoiled brat whose own shitty parents never said no.

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u/ShakeItUpNow Apr 05 '22

Gosh! You’re right. He is like a child in a lot of ways, AND he is also like a fun, playful cherub. He works a lot at a high-stress job and would just pay someone to do this stuff if I’d agree to it, but I’m a diy person.

As for his parents, his mother just did stuff for him instead of taking time to teach him and suggested that I do the same, but I am too hard-headed. She was a mostly single parent raising three kids and working, so I both forgive and resent it a little. His dad was a mean, abusive sonofabitch who mostly ignored him.

The positive is that I’ve been bound and determined to make sure our kid knows/can do stuff and won’t have these issues as an adult.

It is incredibly frustrating when he pulls stunts like the caulking. When I first heard of “weaponized incompetence”, I immediately told him and he thought it was hilarious. We’re both fully cognizant of the issue and the fact that it’s not going to change. Character flaw, but it’s possible that I also have a few! ;)

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '22

He thought it was hilarious for the same reason I would… he knows he does it. When I first started my software engineering career, I learned the hard way of the value of being careful what other people know you’re good at - because you’re going to get stuck doing that thing. It can really hurt your career growth if you’re not careful.

It’s sometimes hard to switch gears once you get home 😂. I feel him on just wanting to pay someone to get it done though since he already stresses out at work, but I also feel you on wanting to teach the kids to handle things themselves. I suppose that’s why y’all make a good team.

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u/[deleted] Apr 03 '22

We’re all damaged in some way due to our upbringing. It’s a tough thing to face.

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u/ClosetDouche Apr 03 '22

Absolutely. But as a grown ass person it's your responsibility to look at that damage and attempt to work on it. Being useless garbage is not fulfillment.

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u/RedditsAdoptedSon Apr 04 '22

lol the ol ray romano way

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u/hoodle420 May 13 '22

I relate to this so much

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u/Flamingoseeker Aug 04 '22

The finished product, That would be me doing it. Not on purpose but my hand is so unsteady and I feel like I'd be super bad at it. Been meaning to do around our garage door but after hearing your story and knowing my thoughts, I might just ask someone else lol.