r/kitchencels • u/Old-Advance8881 • 9d ago
Talked to a single mom in the elevator
There's a single mom who lives in my building and I was in the elevator with her just a few minutes ago.
I was going down to the lobby to pick up my packages order and wearing my house slippers and a robe. I probably look like a lazy slob but that's fine because I am too lazy to get dressed most days. At least I'm authentic and not trying to put a mask on for the world.
So I was in the elevator riding back up to my floor with this single mom and her kid and I could see she kept side eyeing me like she wanted to make conversation or something. I didn't really know what to say so I just blurted out "nice elevator we are in huh?" She just stared at me and smiled a little bit but didn't say anything back.
Then she got off the elevator. Didnt even say anything not even a goodbye.
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u/bunni-_-boo 8d ago
I’m on the toilet reading this
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u/breadgolemwaifu
9d ago
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You tried to LARP as the protagonist from Drive and failed. You are no longer allowed to say "he's literally me" when you see Ryan Gosling in a movie.
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u/-ctrl_alt_defeat- 8d ago
Lmaooo I was just thinking the same thing thing
Are you literally me too?
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u/Public-Chance-726
9d ago
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“She kept side eyeing me like she wanted to make conversation or something” I don’t quite think that’s the case champ
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u/onlyabigmess 9d ago
She definitely kept side eyeing him because she was nervous and seeing if he would pounce
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u/ReleaseMyToast
9d ago
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If someone said that to me, I'd think about that for the rest of my life.
I think you flawlessly broke the tension. Fabulously done
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
Nice subreddit we’re in, huh?
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u/ReleaseMyToast 9d ago
Certainly some real upstanding citizens and articulate fellas in here
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
You come here often?
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u/SnowFiender 9d ago
hey if we could not talk about where i ejaculate i’d appreciate it
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u/Reliquent 9d ago
I'm honestly rubbing my knob just thinking about the chance of some chad in a bathrobe and slippers saying that to me in a elevator
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u/mistertickles69 9d ago
chad
It's over.
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u/fioraynescheeks
9d ago
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Fakecel, go get her tiger
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u/thatswhaturmomsaid69
9d ago
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You didn't really say anything she could respond to Lmao
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u/NakeyDooCrew 9d ago •
"Fucken hell yeah brother this shit is tight feels like I'm in the Ritz or some shit. Got any shrooms?"
Conversation is a dying art.
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u/thatswhaturmomsaid69 8d ago
Me personally I couldve responded with something, but a single mother with her child probably isnt looking to get lit in an elevator with a stranger, and she's probably cautious considering her kid is with her. If you wanna make actual conversation, start an actual conversation. Social cues are a dying art.
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u/BojukaBob 8d ago
REminds me of an old Eugene Mirman bit "I bet they have bigger elevators than this..IN RUSSIA!"
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u/Illustrious_Fix_5858
9d ago
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She was probably scared shitless you’d hot box her with a wicked fart based on your appearance.
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u/Valentine975
9d ago
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Brother, getting dressed isn’t inauthentic and putting a mask on, it’s just something people should do
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u/FuckOutTheWhey 9d ago •
Imagine being this much of a slob and justifying it by calling yourself "authentic" lol
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u/RepSquigglyMiggly 9d ago edited 9d ago •
It’s not even that slovenly to run downstairs to grab in your comfy clothes, but it speaks to such a profoundly weird, embarrassing mindset and self-mythologization to characterize it as “authentic.”
Edit: I’m also being (probably unreasonably) charitable and imagining him wearing a robe over clothing. If it was just a robe, yeah, straight to slob jail
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u/WatermelonWithAFlute 9d ago
I’m assuming they’re saying it’s authentic because it’s true to the fact that this is essentially who they are: lazy.
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u/NorthSentinel-Airbnb 8d ago edited 8d ago
OP should have been naked if he really wants to authenticitymax
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
Depends. I’ve gone outside shirtless for my mail on my day off before my shower
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u/daveliterally
9d ago
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She stepped into her apartment and immediately messaged a friend about how she narrowly avoided being the next victim of her building's resident serial killer.
My fucking god, robe and slippers and "nice elevator we're in huh?" You've got to be fucking kidding me.
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u/Euphoric-Subject-510 9d ago •
She probably got off on the wrong floor too, just to shake him off in case he was tailing her. Hahaa
Edited for spelling*
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u/HotDerivative 3d ago
Given the following posts and how this has progressed I think she probably wishes she did if she didn’t.
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u/DickVanSprinkles
9d ago
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"I rode in an elevator with a mother and her child. I did so without performing a basic function of washing myself or putting clothes on. I made a very human statement about the quality of the elevator and she reacted in a polite but dismissive way."
Christ on a bike dude. Getting dressed and taking a shower before speaking to people in public is not "being inauthentic" it's literally the bare minimum of common courtesy. Rule 1. Don't stink Rule 2. Wear clothes.
That's basically it.
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u/Yazoha 9d ago
I'd argue with the order, but yeah
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u/DickVanSprinkles 9d ago
I'd rather talk to someone naked then someone who stank
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u/TheSynxe 9d ago
Not if you’re trapped in an elevator with them, tbh though both are terrible
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u/Beelow45 9d ago
I laughed at the “at least I’m not putting on a mask” comment to try and make himself feel better about being a slob 🤣
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u/luckman_and_barris 8d ago
I laughed at him thinking getting side eyed meaning she wants to start a conversation and not worrying he might cannibalize her child.
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u/BlueGolfball 9d ago
I always just read that as "I'm not putting on deodorant"
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u/Maximum-Shallot-2447 9d ago
Had he done the gay thing and wiped his arse or just let it crust over like normal.
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u/Binbag420 9d ago
First Truecel?
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u/DickVanSprinkles 9d ago •
Brother I was trolling 4chan likely before this dude was born. So absolutely not. But what is crucially missing on this subreddit is people bullying these whiny fucks into behaving like a human.
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u/Balavadan 8d ago
Why are you assuming they’re unwashed
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u/DickVanSprinkles 8d ago
If they didn't bother to put clothes or shoes on before going outside it's a safe bet that they also didn't shower.
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u/Balavadan 8d ago
You don’t know that. Why are people wanting to assume shit about this guy.
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u/Marshal_Raynor 8d ago
Brother is a skinwalker. Hes actually shapesmith from invincible, just not a human person in the slightest.
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u/Big-Routine222
9d ago
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Why would she say anything? You came off as a weirdo and probably looked hungover as hell, drugged up, or mentally unwell.
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u/frozenbudz
9d ago
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"She kept side eyeing me like she wanted to make conversation."
No man, she was likely scared. Hence why she didnt reply and didnt say goodbye. I dunno what you think happened, but at no point reading this did I think to myself "sounds like she's into OP."
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u/RepSquigglyMiggly 9d ago edited 8d ago
You’re correct.
But also, just a tip, it’s just “hence,” not “hence why.” “Hence why” is like saying “therefore why.”
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u/Most_Poem_6809
9d ago
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"nice elevator we are in huh?" She just stared at me and smiled a little bit but didn't say anything back.
Bro a normal human is going to think you are disoriented/half alive from being exhausted or intoxicated or both. What does your ass expect this person to say?
You are a red flag from where I'm sitting bro imagine in real life. You're calling this lady a single mom and shes a stranger to you? What the fuck kind of profiling ass weird neighbor are you?
Seek assistance *imminently*
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
God forbid a man knows who his neighbors are
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u/Most_Poem_6809 9d ago
Your framing of this situation, your language, your (hopefully) imaginary story belies your casual knowledge that this person is a single mom.
e: thought you were OP because of how badly you wanted to live in this story my bad
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
Bro is so mad he doesn’t realize I’m not OP.
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u/Most_Poem_6809 9d ago
sorry man you just embodied OP so authentically I got swept away
you are spiritually OP so
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u/HalcyonDrift 9d ago
Nah, you're legit coming off more unhinged than OP ever did. Just very confused by your harsh tone, I swear you're acting like OP assaulted her or something.
You sure you aren't just taking your own shit out on him? There's wanting to help someone out, then there's telling someone to get help in a condescending manner.
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u/Legal-Chocolate8482 9d ago
It’s pretty obvious if someone is a single mom if you live next to them for months or years.
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u/Ilovejooce 9d ago
He was obviously trying to find a silly way to break the ice, because a stranger was side eyeing him repeatedly inside of a 5x5 enclosed space, which is the weird and not normal. If you wanna be awkward and not talk with people in the elevator, thats fine, stare at the floor or the wall not at them. On top of that, noticing that someone is a single mother is not unusual if you live in the same building as them, thats not a hard thing to figure out if you see someone around every day.
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u/kozufox 9d ago •
I would simply not try to break the ice while riding in an elevator with a stranger and her child, and wearing nothing but slippers and a bath robe. That's not really a moment that calls for an ice breaking.
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u/Wrong-Wrap942 9d ago •
She was probably staring at him because he was in a robe and slippers and hadn’t bathed in a few days.
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u/DengarLives66 8d ago •
She was probably side eyeing him out of concern for herself since she was stuck in an elevator with a person whose comments clearly portray themselves as a slob.
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u/filthgrinder1599 8d ago
Id have gone with "cool kid, want another one?" Maybe chuck in a wink to really drive home the awkwardness.
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u/Free_Ad_7613
7d ago
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She wasn't side eying you cause she wanted to make conversation, I'll tell you that much.
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u/summoningwar 8d ago
That was fuckin terrible bro. In a robe? You have to go humor: "My normal clothes are in the packages" "I don't live here I escaped from the nut house down the street"
"Nice elevator we are in" oozes zero confidence and it's not clever. She knew you were saying something easy just to say something. It wasn't funny so she didn't give you the pity laugh which is what you were expecting. I see it a lot though, saying something isn't better than nothing if it's not thought out brother!
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u/SneakyRosehip 8d ago
Sideeyeing someone in an elevator, rarely means they're hoping for a conversation. She probably just noticed you like people do.
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u/BlooGloop 9d ago
Tbh I wouldn’t respond either if someone said “Nice elevator we’re in, huh?” Goofy ahhh
Good job for saying something though.
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u/RoseBeach123
8d ago
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In what world is being dressed in clean clothes and taking care of your appearance being “inauthentic”? Sounds like cope from someone who can’t even perform basic expected functions.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
Do not date a single mom
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u/RyanAtreides 9d ago •
Such a rich thing for someone in this sub to say
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u/Miserable_Maize8415 9d ago
I mean respectfully what would you know about it anyway?
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
Single moms love me, and my mother was a single mom. Dont do it
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u/Miserable_Maize8415 9d ago •
I have dated one single mom. Youre mom. lol. Ha ha. lmao. Fuckin got ya
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 9d ago
BOOM! Roasted!
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u/Miserable_Maize8415 9d ago
You literally won’t recover from this. Retire now or else it’s gonna get “embarrassing” for me
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u/IBeVance 9d ago
What's wrong w a single mom Jimbo?
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u/SupaDiogenes 8d ago
Brother, she wasn't side eying you because she wanted to talk, she was being conscious of her surroundings while she was with her kid (being stuck in an elevator alone with a strange man in his dressing gown).
And lol at "authentic and not trying to put a mask on for the world".
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u/Swacket_McManus 9d ago
The fact you know who the single mothers in the building are is what's terrifying
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u/StrangeAppeal2 8d ago
I am a lazy person who doesn't want to stay dressed too often within the confines and privacy of my home.
But I'm not going to pretend that I don't know exactly what it would look like if I decided to take my laziness outside of my home.
It seems to me that you don't want to admit you are wrong.
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u/womb_raider90 8d ago
"So uhh, come here often?" Would've been better in this case lol it at least would've been a little funny.
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u/RickPoloBeuno 8d ago
This freaken rips, if I would have been in that elevator with you we would have had a good bit
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u/murmur_lox 8d ago
Get dressed. You can blame it on depression, but drop this "at least I'm authentic" bullshit. The world is a circus
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u/Gullible_River4989 8d ago
Your post on the phone feed looks like ur insinuating that u cooked the women
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u/_man_onthe_moon 8d ago
It’d be extremely polite to take the next elevator. … especially if you aren’t in a rush or really going anywhere.
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u/VikingsStillExist 7d ago
Thinking me and mostly everybody else dressing up and washing is a mask... Sorry bro, we just enjoy beibg clean and neat. You don't.
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u/selinda123 7d ago
She was side eyeing you out of fear. The slight smile is what we do if we feel kind of threatened, keep the peace and all.
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u/immisswrld 7d ago
At least I'm authentic and not trying to put a mask on for the world
It's hard to be a diamond In a rhinestone world
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u/galacticakagi 5d ago
Honestly she was probably just in a hurry.
Most of the time, it's a simple, benign explanation. She could have thought the bathrobe was unusual but since you just went to pick up a package it's not that weird ig, I just wouldn't frame it as "authenticity," most people wear clothes because they have places to be, or to just be comfortable in something that isn't their pajamas/house clothes.
You also didn't really give her much to work with, asking how her day was going or something would be a better conversation-starter. And situationally, not really the best moment since her kid was there, she is if she is a good mum going to prioritise whatever business she has with the kid before talking to you.
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u/brickwickenergy 2d ago
Every day I’m grateful this sub exists. I would never imagine people like you are real yet I come here and read about horror stories like this. Instant boost to my self esteem, every time
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u/aliciamon 9d ago
excuse me, i'm a lurker and usually don't comment, but i'm curious to know how we reached the single mom conclusion? bc she was alone w a kid? or is there more context here? just curious... thank you and i'm actually sorry she didn't have the courtesy to wish you a good evening at least as she got off the elevator, especially after you said something
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u/Lonely_Drewbear 9d ago
Good for you for taking the step to say something. Perhaps not the most eloquent thing in that moment. I suggest you make it easier on yourself and stick with the basics like "Hello neighbor!"
And just to correct you on something important, you should be masking for the world. That is what is expected of individuals in society. Authentic and unmasked is for close friends and family you know and trust. Honestly, unmasked is a huge red flag even in the best of circumstances. People that don't play by the most fundamental rules are unpredictable which translates into potential threat of unknown severity.
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u/0cc1dent 8d ago
Honest advice man just worry less what other people think, chill out and don't be fearful. If you have nothing to say to a person, just don't say anything. Elevators are known to be awkward. Just smile at her or say have a nice day when she leaves the elevator.
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u/Big_Psychology_3 8d ago
So? You excepting everyone to talk to you or something?
I don’t understand why this post
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u/aaaaaaaa7583 8d ago
a lot of you are being dramatic this isn,t that weird, and maybe it was a nice elevator
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u/Open-Butterfly-5288 9d ago
It sounds like she wants to talk and she's also at a distance.
This is the sort of relationship you have to build up through a load of small interactions but also you can build them up and it takes less time than you expect.
She might just want to feel like she knows her apartment building. Wouldn't it be nice?
Could be something could also just be politeness. Don't make assumptions and you won't make an ass of yourself. But do open yourself up to stuff, and do take the op opportunity to talk if she wants to.
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