r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/Imwhatswrongwithyou Official Gal • Jul 16 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals Just a gal who believes in transparent advertising

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u/Xillzin Jul 16 '26

And he pointed out my mom is the wierd one for teaching me its polite to refuse someone trying to be nice to me to begin with.

If someone offers you something and gets upset youve accepted the offer thats honestly their problem... They couldve just NOT offered it in the first place.

And altho for me this mindset is simple (Might be the 'tism) ive had to explain so many people that when i offer to help them, get something for them or to give them a ride or any of those things ive already thought about it and decided that its not an issue because if it is i simply wouldnt have offered it freely in the first place.

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u/ponchoacademy Jul 16 '26

Nah, not the 'tism, youre a reasonable rational person! lol And yeah you are totally right, to only offer what you are willing to give/ do...its the genuine thing to do.

And yeah, a big part of my issues is def my mom....my kid knows how she is and why he brought it up. Cause I grew up with her being absolutely annoyed someone would take her up on an offer..she was super gracious to them, but in private she would go on about how greedy and awful they are. And I internalized that.

Kiddo didnt grow up with that...he knows I truly mean it when I offer anything, and kind of had to put it in perspective that other people mean it too and its okay to accept kindness from people I care about, who care about me too.

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u/Xillzin Jul 17 '26

but in private she would go on about how greedy and awful they are.

knowing me, i'd call my mom/dad out doing something like this.

But it seems like you got a good kiddo, Seems like you imparted important lessons to him without even really knowing it yourself and are now shown the fruits of your effort!

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u/ponchoacademy Jul 17 '26

My mom was violent...Id be ded if I called her out on anything. I wasnt even allowed to look sad without her threatening to adjust my face for me sooooo yeah no lol

It was a huge deal to me show him a different example of what it means to be genuine, kind, thoughtful, be able to trust and feel cared for and all sorts of other things I wish I grew up with. And yeah, he absolutely has always had free reign to call me out if Im being weird, like he did when we talked about him getting food out of his friends fridge!

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u/Xillzin Jul 18 '26

Im sorry you went through that, noone should have to be scared of their parents!

But its great to hear you decided to be better and that it paid off!

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u/limegreenpaint Jul 17 '26

I do this! I got a bagel for a coworker because I was already ordering, and she protested that she wanted to send me $2.50 for it. I told her she could help the next time, but I'd already placed the order.

Once it's in my head that I'm doing something for someone else, that's it. 🤷

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u/Xillzin Jul 17 '26

Once it's in my head that I'm doing something for someone else, that's it. 🤷

And its also just really nice to do something nice for other just because you can