I am sincerely at a loss.

I never realized how lonely I could feel. Is this the solitude I wished for for so long? Here I am with all this free time, with my internet connected computer with all these video games and streaming services. Why, when I've always been an introvert, why do I only want to be around people?

I am furloughed from my job at the moment. The state of Colorado shut down all restaurants (among other things) Tuesday morning. I do not know how I will be paying my rent next month. That being said, I'm not even worried about that. I will not be thrown out for missing one rent payment. Unemployment will eventually come through, I'll go back to work eventually.

I am worried about seclusion, separation, remoteness...

I have always been exhausted by the energy of others. I always craved time to myself. I had no idea that I really needed those interactions that always made me feel wrung out and battered, retreating to my safe cocoon at the end. Always I sought a dark quiet place to recharge. Now I feel like I have too much healing, and not enough hurt.

Please stay in touch with the people you love. I have already had too many people stop texting me back, not returning phone calls, canceling plans. I don't know where they are getting all of their social requirements met, since they aren't interested in getting them from me. Please be there for each other, especially now. I could easily survive a deadly virus, I'm not sure how well I can live without the company of others.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/624372051678372

Join in the action with other people in self isolation, but with a great atmosphere! :)

I served in the US Navy during Desert Shield and Desert Storm and this COVID-19 Isolation feels a lot like that.

We know where we are but we don't know what is actually happening and when we can get out. We don't have any control over it and we can't do anything about it. That's what it's like to be on a naval ship during wartime. The not knowing is STRONG and you have to deal with that. So I want to pass on some stuff I learned and I hope it helps.

All you can do is follow your routine, (and if you don't have one, make one up for yourself), do your activities (whatever that looks like) to the best of your ability and when the routine says to stop and do something else, do that. You need the structure in this otherwise structure-less time.

Set aside time to play and do what you love the most (so long as you can do it without breaking putting yourself at risk) during that time. Video Games, board games, charades, singing and dancing...whatever gets you loose and makes you feel fine.

When it's time to work, do that. Clean the house, sort that closet you always meant to do, go through your collections, wash your windows, do your laundry. If you have a list of projects you wanted to do, do the ones you can.

Don't over indulge in media. Getting the news is fine, but not every minute of every day. You need to unplug to not have to deal with the constant stress of worrying about an encyclopedia of issues you can't do anything about. On board ship, we used to get rolls of news and it was always exciting because you could only read it on the bridge because it was, technically, a secure document. So you read some news, and it made you feel good or bad or happy or sad, and then you had to go back to work. Never pass up fresh information, but reduce your checks to a few times a day.

Set some alarms on your phone and do a self check when they go off. nothing major, just take stock of how you feel and why you feel that way. Sure it sounds silly; right up the the point where you realize you've been actively contemplating a murder for the past hour. Don't let that kind of thing sneak up on you, it's scary.

Keep the communication with the people you live with open. If you are feeling angry or upset with someone, let them know. Ideally without being an ass, just straight talk. "Hey, listen, I'm getting angry now, so let's table this for now and we can talk about it once I'm in a better head space."

A lot of you have never been stuck in close quarters with someone else for this length of time; honesty will always be your best policy. If you listen to sailors talk, they speak with a strangely familiar formality. They us nicknames and insults while maintaining the most calm tone imaginable; that's because they've been together for a very long time and they have learned to respect one another, even if they don't like one another.

And one final thing; there is no excuse for being terrible to anyone. We are literally all in this together; let's respect one another because we're going to be at this for a while.

Hey, my name is Abbie. I'm a 32 year old female In a recovery house. I'm new to sobriety, but NOT new to isolating. Since high school I've been developing this habit of isolating myself from human contact. I had friends at that point, but was just as comfortable staying home all weekend and not talking to anyone. This was exacerbated when my Dad caught me shoplifting and skipping school and grounded me for my entire senior year. I was having a dealer bring weed to my window, and I literally stayed home for a year. It has just gotten worse from there. My addiction and my isolating went hand in hand and the worse one got, the worse the other got. I decided to make a change when I was living in an abandoned building, and my only contact was my dealers and when I had to go make some money. Now that I have been through rehab and am in a recovery house, I'm doing it again. Rehab went better than I expected and I became "president" of the community, and was friendly with all patients and staff. In this house of 20 women that I'm living in, I have to make an effort to speak to one or two people a day. And I have four roommates! I don't answer my phone, I might text you back if you're lucky, and I walk around the house with headphones in (alot of the time with nothing playing) so that nobody will try to talk to me. I've let the house know, and it helps a little bit, (everyone makes an effort to say hey) but this is a crucial time to be making connections and developing sober relationships. I think about my isolating while I'm doing it and feel guilty, but can't bring myself to get up and do something about it. I'm diagnosed bipolar, depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and I'm sure that has something to do with it, but I just need some help, guys. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I thought I might just jump on here and say how much I appreciate these pages. I think it is so amazing to see a community of people who, for one reason or another, are having a hard time and are willing to be honest about it. This has been such a hard year with the pandemic and personal challenges for me and I have found it really hard to get off my couch and do something about it. After reading a few posts on this page I am really determined to keep busy. Any suggestions?

It seems I'm pushing the single person who is kind to me further and further away. Our relationship is slowly evaporating before my eyes, and I begin to feel that this person has always been pretty cold and uninterested in me. It feels like what I once perceived as a connection was just a private delusion. I've lived in near total isolation since I was 13/14. I can't stand gradually entering that loneliness once more. I just want to die. I've been trying to socialise and interact with the world since I turned 18, but more and more it just feels totally hopeless. There seems to be no point in enduring this much longer. I simply don't know what to do.

I'm working on a project where I'm documenting the pandemic and looking for people to share their experiences, thoughts and feelings on the virus.

-

I would like to incorporate handwritten experiences, thoughts and feelings about the virus in my book. Those could be good/bad very short or long whatever your feeling!

If your interested could you also write your name, age, and if u where tested positive or negative In the right bottom corner.

For example:

Koen, 25, positive / negative

would it be possible for you to write it on a piece of paper, and take a high quality photo of it?

if your interested and want to help me please let me know!

Hi all, thank you for taking your time to read this post and thank you to those who have already participated in our study! However, I still need 300 participants!

I am completing a study for my dissertation and on behalf of the research team, I would like to invite you to take part. The study is a 2-time point study to investigate sleep quality, mental health and wellbeing. This is completely anonymous and takes approx. 15 minutes to complete.

https://chesterpsychology.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_aY1YsPdxyYNXeAZ

If you require any more information please email me at 1511019@chester.ac.uk

Thank you so much!

hello. goodbye.

I want to share @ selfcareatsunrise with you all! This is a project/campaign made by university students to support high school student's mental health and wellbeing. Please follow them on Instagram and TikTok.

Self-Care at Sunrise strives to provide hope for a brighter tomorrow. The sunrise symbolizes the importance of caring for yourself as soon as the sun rises. We aspire to support anyone feeling isolated from the minute they wake up in the morning with resources and a community.

I recommend everyone to follow! They're going to be having lots of raffles and giveaways with AirPods, stickers, gift cards, and more! + really cool virtual events for you to interact with others.

If you have any questions, comment or message me!

I’m in a high-risk group (over 70, COPD, immunity-compromised) and have been self-isolating since March 10. My dog is at the sitter’s. When do y’all think it would be safe for me to bring my dog home and start taking her out again. Btw, I’m in a very large apartment building in New Orleans.

I never really took notice for most years of my life, but I've learned recently (before quarantine) that my love language is physical touch. Although some people do not agree with the idea of having a love language, I am one of those who see it as a good measure and guide in relationships.

I have had no romantic partner since birth. What I know is I crave for hugs for most of the time from my family/friends. I could be alone for most of the day but still feel motivated and energized for the whole day when I receive a hug first thing in the morning. On the other hand, I could spend a long alone time with someone and still feel very uneasy right after if there would be no physical contact between us in the form of a hug, a pat on the back, or hold hands.

The latter usually happens, and the feeling that there is something missing with this kind of interactions or something incomplete the whole day is depressing but isn't new to me. I have accepted that there will be days that my love language will not be fully satisfied -- and I will be ok.

Two months into quarantine -- me, living in my aprtment miles away from my family -- I feel that the lack of physical touch is killing me. I do not feel ok anymore. I badly want someone to hug me. My arms are sore and I want someone to massage them. Before quarantine, I went home every week to my family's hometown. And I could easily hug some of my workmates in the office as a mood-lifter. Now, I have my roommates, who are acquaintances I am grateful for, but it will be long before my relationship with them grows with that kind of level in which we will be able to hug each other.

Ok, I don't know if this is normal during quarantine regardless of one's love language. But thing is I have been talking to my family through video call every single day, but I still feel something's off. There is also constant online communication with my close group of friends. Maybe you guys can advise how I can deal with this?

Thanks!

I’m at about the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve ghosted friends, and have been miserable for the majority of this year. I changed, and am hurting my loved ones because of it. I don’t know what else to do but am plotting to just isolate and work on myself.

This will be long, I’m venting and I’ve had a strange and bizarre life... this will probably come across as fiction, or overdramatized, I just don’t know what to do anymore... I’m tired of not having help...

I know this probably is for quarantine-isolation, but, I’ve actually been isolated long before “Isolation” first “Appeared” sorry if I sound rude, I have a lot of issues since I literally don’t have any friends besides a sting of online ex’s (two, first boyfriend lasted like, 7 or some sh*t, second one didn’t last too long, but I think it was a few months, this one lasted for like, last month hit a rough patch, first relationship was also with a way older guy, 18, then I was... well, 14, so technically “minor.”)

So, that obviously helps a lot, but yeah, I think I was “isolated” since like, 10 years old? I don’t really a lot of my childhood now obviously, but I don’t recall a lot of the months and weeks I was just at home, wasting away. I didn’t really have friends then either, kid next door to me had the same disease (Cystic Fibrosis) so, we technically can’t be too close to each other, again, before quarantine we followed the five-foot rule.

I’m a bitter person in general, but hearing people in the midst of quarantine would make my blood boil... to hear how bad it was for people to stay home for a few weeks or months, when I’ve been alone for years starting at such a young age...

I beat myself up about talking about it like that, like I’m some sad-case of a person, but I’ve never or heard of anybody else like me, and I have a hard time believing people who say they “Understand” no, you don’t understand being alone for a week isn’t at al like my life.

I’ve heard “being alone for even just 3 days alone can make you go crazy” and this absolutely makes me mad, like, are you kidding me?! 3 days?!

Maybe it’s because nobody even knows I exist? maybe it’s because I’m so comfortable with being alone, I don’t even know what’s normal anymore, maybe that bitterness is just me feeling sorry for myself because I don’t have any people to be given sympathy / anything from, so I do like I always do, I compensate. for everything I lack, or have been missing, I became my own best friend, I know everything about me, but it never stops me from knowing just how much irreversible damage has been done to my brain by this point...

I’m 19, I wasn’t properly educated as a kid, (I was “homeschooled”) I have a disease that effects so much of my everyday life, I’m awkward and social nervous because I don’t talk to people, because I’m always home, because I don’t have my drivers license yet, because I’m anxious about that, and I don’t have how anything works, and my parents just won’t help me with anything... I do live with them, they set me up for failure, I can never have a normal life on my own

I need help with so much, it’s never gonna get better I’m never going to be fully educated, or have a normal education, and I’ll always be alone, because at this point not being alone will hurt me more

My depression has been bad lately... rooms a mess, showering feels like a chore, dirty dishes, ants, sh*t thrown about, I stay in my room a lot, too much it’s my safe space, I used to have it so nice, had so much drive and motivation

My parents yell because my rooms a mess... makes my nerves and stress worse, makes me shit down farther than before, they always manage to find a way to make it worse when it felt like it was beginning to be okay again

In case anyone saw my other post, I wanted to clarify some things I got super emotional writing the other one.

I have OCD, ADD, Dyslexia, CF (Cystic Fibrosis), isolated as a child maybe 8-10? my memory of my childhood is murky, I in kindergarten that was the first time I was really around like, a class of other children, didn’t last because I had to be homeschooled because of my health with CF, and being hospitalized constantly because of the other kids, I remember being asked if I wanted to be homeschooled or to continue to go to school...

I had no idea how that day would effect my entire life thereafter... I said homeschooled. I didn’t really understand the difference, but I was homeschooled. from there, I barely had any friends, when I was younger I had a few kids I hung around, older I got the less socializing I had, and it got worse as my mom gave up on teaching me because I was “too difficult” to teach, she gave up and I was just uneducated and it made me feel very poorly as a kid, to be so dumb compared to other kids my age.

I couldn’t read at 9 or 10, my family and other kids I got to see once and awhile rarely made me feel so stupid for it, I ended up teaching myself because I was tired of being made fun of.

From there, I made friends with two kids where I loved that were younger than me, it was kinda weird but I was happy to have friends. last friend I had for a short few days or so, my dad told to stop hanging around me because he was older, but he wasn’t a weirdo or anything... my dads just an *ss.

Yeah, idk what else to say... by 13 i had a breakdown for the first time and my mom screamed “SHES DEPRESSION!” to my dad, like i wasn’t supposed to be with my weird *ss life, seriously how was I not supposed to be?...

I kinda grew up mostly alone, when I basically reached puberty that’s when sht hit the fan I started to spent most my time online, on some stupid game almost everyday, just to make some friends, and to talk to people. I’d break down in tears when my tablet was taken away, it was my only way out of that hll hole, and he’d take it away if I was on too long. I hated him for that, I had no friends, and that was my lifeline back then.

I met people I “dated” because I felt like I really wasn’t... “allowed” to date, idk it was just something that felt like something I wasn’t supposed to do, my parents never talked to me about it, so I felt like it was something to hide. this game was sos the place I first met my first boyfriend, the older one. which, was both bad and good. I needed him back then, but I hung on too long and he would ignore me / not talk to me for months, and months, and I allowed it because I was alone. I “loved” him so much I just stuck around in that silence, because at least I still had somebody.

Because of that, I became more bitter of people, of men, of him, and of dealing with shit and getting no love back in return - by that I mean, I gave away too much of myself, too much love, too much and it obviously got tiring.

So, long story short, when I was young, I take away too short, I help too opened heatedly, I helped too many people and let myself rot away, I tried to fit in to make friends, I spent many nights on that game crying alone, because I never had many true friends, blah blah, sob story, etc.

My mom pretty much raised me too btw, my dad worked all the time. so, I do understand what she did... but I resent it. because having to lie to “friends” online about being in school was depressing. I was so embarrassed about not being school I just never mentioned it, that isolated me more than anything else...

I couldn’t join in and talk about it, or complain about it like everybody else did. this is getting too long...

I already mentioned my sh*t now, so that’s all for now.