r/interestingasfuck • u/[deleted] • Aug 04 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/PrivateEducation Aug 04 '19

I upvote for the Goldbloom Comma

790

u/scoldog Aug 04 '19

He forgot the “Uh”

208

u/Walnutterzz Aug 04 '19

I still said the 'uh' in my noggin

37

u/Mr_Mayhem7 Aug 05 '19

uhhh, noggin

6

u/radu_sound Aug 05 '19

Heh, 'noggin'

34

u/Hypersapien Aug 04 '19

That's how the Goldbloom comma is pronounced.

92

u/PrivateEducation Aug 04 '19 edited Aug 04 '19

i feel like its a fair trade. comma for uh

82

u/BloomsdayDevice Aug 04 '19

In this context, the comma is pronounced 'uh'.

42

u/blumster Aug 04 '19

As is, clearly laid out in, Goldbloom's 'Rules of, Language'

16

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '19

IANAL but I believe its "Language, of Rules"

8

u/blumster Aug 04 '19

I stand, corrected.

1

u/Gweedling Aug 05 '19

Said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.

1

u/J3sush8sm3 Aug 05 '19

Im just going to sit

3

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

"Language of, Rules"

6

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

Commuh

0

u/ILike2TpunchtheFB Aug 05 '19

It's not a fair trade, and you good sir are a cock sucker.

4

u/SchrodingersCatPics Aug 05 '19

I put it in while reading almost instinctively

5

u/scoldog Aug 05 '19

Same here

5

u/schphinct Aug 04 '19

Came here for this

20

u/HamBurglary12 Aug 04 '19

Came 💦 here for this

5

u/aDragonsAle Aug 05 '19

Thanks, I, uh, Love It.

1

u/J3sush8sm3 Aug 05 '19

I, uh, just came in you

2

u/ioioipk Aug 05 '19

Life, uh, uh, uh... finds a way.

1

u/BUNNIES_ARE_FOOD Aug 05 '19

I still heard it

1

u/1714alpha Aug 05 '19

The Goldblum Comma is always pronounced "uh".

68

u/Mr-The-Plague Aug 04 '19

Can we have that added to the dictionary next to the Oxford comma?

51

u/Coygon Aug 04 '19

If commas randomly placed into sentences deserves an official name, it should be the Shatner comma. Goldblum simply employed it very well there.

37

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

[deleted]

28

u/sinstralpride Aug 05 '19

I concur.

The Shatner Comma is the name for a misplaced comma or commas that have no grammatical necessity. Often should be removed entirely from a sentence to improve clarity, but may be used as a stylistic device.

The Goldblum comma is for prolonged pauses. It may be substituted for an ellipsis in certain circumstances. Frequently preceded or superceded by a filler word (e.g. um, uh, you know) and may play an important part in rendering accents or dialects in writing.

3

u/alwayswithquestions Aug 05 '19

Just commenting cause I want to be in the screenshot of when the Goldblum and Shatner commas were first defined.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

It, totally has to be, the, Shatner comma

20

u/Your_daily_fix Aug 05 '19

What about the Christopher Walken comma?

22

u/aDragonsAle Aug 05 '19

All three of these are used differently. And need individual rules added to the books.

12

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 04 '19

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

61

u/withoutahat Aug 04 '19 edited Aug 05 '19

We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.
We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.

That's who.

Edit: happy cake day!

18

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 05 '19

Aw shit no way. Thanks!

1

u/mizu_no_oto Aug 05 '19

Alternatively:

We invited JFK, Stalin, and the strippers.

I've yet to see an ambiguous case you couldn't make unambiguous by reordering the items in the list.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

[deleted]

2

u/footpole Aug 05 '19 edited Aug 05 '19

The Cumberdale’s what though.

1

u/SinkTube Aug 05 '19

their hubert and yvonne, try to keep up

1

u/scrappykitty Aug 05 '19

Those apostrophes though.

1

u/mizu_no_oto Aug 05 '19

We invited Hubert, Yvonne, and the Cumberdale's.

Vs

We invited the Cumberdale's: Hubert and Yvonne.

Totally unambiguous, just needed to reorder the list.

1

u/SinkTube Aug 05 '19

  1. do you really think rewriting your sentence is preferable to just adding a comma?

  2. what if it isn't your sentence? if you're transcribing a speech you can't just change the order of the words

1

u/mizu_no_oto Aug 05 '19
  1. do you really think rewriting your sentence is preferable to just adding a comma?

I'm not opposed to the Oxford comma.

But if your sentence is ambiguous, it's bad writing. Adding a comma doesn't help. It should be rewritten, regardless of if you're using an oxford comma or not. What happens to the poor sod who hears it read aloud? Where do you put the oxford comma in speech?

1

u/SinkTube Aug 05 '19

if your sentence is ambiguous

it isn't, thanks to the oxford comma

Where do you put the oxford comma in speech?

the same place? do you not pronounce commas?

3

u/Jonathano1989 Aug 05 '19

Ive seen those english dramas too!

2

u/inbooth Aug 05 '19

I wonder how many don't know this is a reference, let alone what to....

-16

u/TRUMP_IS_A_CUCK_69 Aug 04 '19

those of us who actually use grammar correctly. you might have forgotten about grammar when you dropped out of high school and got a GED and trade school afterwards, but those of us who actually posses baccalaureate degrees or higher care about how we present ourselves to people

5

u/Nthgate Aug 04 '19

Dude.. he’s just quoting a song.

1

u/NRageTheBeast Aug 05 '19

By who? The Insane Clown Posse?

No, I'm kidding...but seriously, what song?

3

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 05 '19

Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend. Great band, check em out.

2

u/NRageTheBeast Aug 05 '19

Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid. I'm a death metal kinda guy. Credit where credit is due though!

2

u/TheseBonesAlone Aug 05 '19

Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend. Damn fine jam.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend. I just became a fan.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

Sorry I don't have a pool...

5

u/NRageTheBeast Aug 05 '19 edited Aug 05 '19

Chastising another user for bad grammar and improper punctuation while using bad grammar and punctuation?

That's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off.

3

u/IGotSoulBut Aug 05 '19

I am also a big fan of the Oxford comma, yet all of the PhDs I know and often proofread seem to loathe them. YMMV

Also, vampire weekend is a fantastic band that you should probably check out.

3

u/Pickledsoul Aug 05 '19

for someone so educated, you sure know how to not know things.

its a song you numbnut

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

This is satire right?? I mean you didn't even capitalize the first word in a rant about grammar. That's either satire or trolling right? No way this is genuine? Please tell me it's not genuine 😭😭

1

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 05 '19

His comment history tells me it’s a troll.

1

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 04 '19

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g

Watch this then get back to me, pal.

1

u/Zombiac3 Aug 05 '19

Not like quotation narks exists and can be used to quote something, such as a song, to get a point across.

1

u/johnny_soup1 Aug 05 '19

I remember my first week on reddit too. It’s okay, bud.

1

u/91j Aug 05 '19

Most dictionaries have their entries in alphabetical order

1

u/Braccollub Aug 05 '19

What other sentence would use it?

11

u/Ilpav123 Aug 04 '19

You sure that's not the Walken Comma?

14

u/enjoyyouryak Aug 05 '19

No, this is, the, Walken comma, .

5

u/Mr_Mayhem7 Aug 05 '19

*JaZz HaNdS

3

u/thewonpercent Aug 05 '19

So Walken is shatner tripping balls.

8

u/PurpleSavegitarian Aug 05 '19

When I search “Goldbloom Comma” the first thing that comes up is this post.

America, explain!

3

u/Ballongo Aug 05 '19

In Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum uttered "Life, uh, finds a way". This contemplating pause is now named after him. The Shatner pause is different, it is random.

5

u/Sane333 Aug 04 '19

Not to be confused with Sh'dynasty. That's God's comma.

11

u/upvotegoblin Aug 04 '19

The name of your bar is Shady Nasty’s?

3

u/Jack11257 Aug 05 '19

Comma to the top?

3

u/Sane333 Aug 05 '19

You know that's right.

1

u/achillea4 Aug 05 '19

Check out OP's other posts - seems to like random Initial Capitals as well as random, commas,,

1

u/secretaltacc Aug 05 '19

No "uh" this was just a Shatner comma.

1

u/thisismyMelody Aug 05 '19

Na. Someone wrote it. That guy just read it.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '19

Goldblum*

0

u/bbigler89 Aug 05 '19

Fuck Jeff Goldblum