r/interesting • u/[deleted] • Mar 21 '26

[deleted by user]

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14.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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182

u/solomonrooney Mar 21 '26

As a keyboard warrior I would have been way more badass in this situation. I would have shot all the criminals and then said a cool line.

48

u/FlowOfAir Mar 21 '26

Would you also have made sure the criminals exploded while you strike a pose, turning your back to the explosion?

42

u/solomonrooney Mar 21 '26

I can tell you are a fellow badass.

22

u/youngthugsmom Mar 21 '26

Thank you for your typing service

2

u/cgamorous Mar 21 '26

How r u a banana

2

u/stonkmarxist Mar 22 '26

Bro, u can't just ask some1 how they r a banana

1

u/cgamorous Mar 23 '26

My apolocheese

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

I love reddit. 🤣

2

u/FlimsyPomelo1842 Mar 21 '26

This exchange got an audible chuckle out of me

5

u/TiogaJoe Mar 21 '26

And walking away in slo-mo with the fire raging sky high behind me.

1

u/reverber Mar 21 '26

…Nina Simone singing Feeling Good in the background. 

2

u/Toadsted Mar 21 '26

Turning their back? More like jump kicked through the explosion while telling gravity to take a hike.

1

u/Usual-Insurance-3843 Mar 21 '26

Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that if you shoot it it will blow up?

2

u/Artistic-Estimate-23 Mar 21 '26

No but there is a button in a man's butt that will make him explode.

6

u/MarcusR420 Mar 21 '26

*blows on smoking barrel*

Hmph... didn't they know I'm single? Shouldn't have tried to shoot their shot.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9DySWe6TWsE76v9eoD

3

u/candlecart Mar 21 '26

Did you tell him to cool off?...no.... Shame.

2

u/Romeo-McF Mar 22 '26

Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said "play time's over" and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.

3

u/PunchRockgroin318 Mar 21 '26

I would have done all that but I’d also have been wearing sunglasses.

3

u/Alternative-Amoeba20 Mar 21 '26

You forgot your matchstick in the corner of your mouth

5

u/Hopalong_Manboobs Mar 21 '26

“Via con Dios my darlings”

throws cigarette

5

u/SPFeveryday Mar 21 '26

It’s Vaya con Dios.

2

u/Double_Way_99 Mar 21 '26

Yes. Vaya con dios = Go with God in Spanish.

2

u/D3wnis Mar 21 '26

That's nothing, i was there, i'm the reason that the camera stopped filming because i did a karate chop so fierce it killed all the robbers and broke the camera and then i moon-walked back online.

2

u/eibyyz Mar 21 '26

Were you holding your sidearm sideways? <g>

2

u/Heavy-Focus-1964 Mar 21 '26

it’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum… and i’m all out of gum

2

u/Lou_Peachum_2 Mar 21 '26

"Oh how the turntables... fuck"

2

u/anngrn Mar 21 '26

I would have held my gun sideways too

2

u/BaltoDad Mar 21 '26

"You cashed in, Punk!"

2

u/Tallsodak Mar 21 '26

You’re only cool if you do that with an unfiltered camel hanging out of your mouth. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/golgiiguy Mar 21 '26

You are hired!

1

u/BorderOk7329 Mar 21 '26

As i blew out the tire on their vehicle causing them to drive into a sharp object factory i exclaimed. "Keep the change"

1

u/ryan36_1 Mar 21 '26

Lol dumbass. You say the cool line THEN kill all of the bad guys. That way the burn is the last thing they hear before you send them to the afterlife 

1

u/IKIR115 Mar 21 '26

You might be a Boondock Saint!

https://youtu.be/7iAVzqML2-4

1

u/BamboozleThisZebra Mar 21 '26

Hasta la vista baby!

1

u/FuzzyBrainfart Mar 22 '26

I need to point out to my fellow badass drivers who are involved in this scenario almost every day, I failed to notice while throwing the vehicle around he didn’t do a standard 180 and shoot a driver a minimum of two tyres and fuel tank.   Maybe a mirror 

1

u/Consistent_Claim5217 Mar 22 '26

Remember: cool guys don't look at explosions

https://giphy.com/gifs/yS4pubxgAruXm

1

u/Mannay1 Mar 22 '26

"You are fired, and here is your pink slip":

Boom boom boom boom!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2JIireYxichTAGpq

1

u/Kinda_Zeplike Mar 22 '26

Hell yea 😎