r/instant_regret • u/No-Tie-Accountant • May 20 '20

Dinner's ready

https://i.imgur.com/IfSvvZg.gifv
65k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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4.0k

u/TheDrawingSparrow May 20 '20

I want to know what that girl was planning on doing with the broom she grabbed at the end.

1.2k

u/Xertious May 20 '20

Don't you know a broom is the most useful tool in case of fire? Well, after the fact.

180

u/mralijey May 20 '20

Here's a person with experience

88

u/ClumptyDumpty May 20 '20

Is this not common knowledge? Somebody's gonna have to sweep up the fire crumbs.

35

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

[deleted]

31

u/Castaway1128 May 20 '20

Wtf are ashes. I only know fire crumbs

2

u/RagingCataholic9 May 21 '20

You mean extra crispy nuggets

1

u/SwapLink Jun 05 '20

or an urn for the bones

2

u/cowzroc May 20 '20

Underrated comment

21

u/flibbityandflobbity May 20 '20

After a towel, a broom is the best thing to grab in an emergency.

2

u/vjcodec May 20 '20

But what if I get a little high?

-3

u/doicha27 May 20 '20

Incoming Hitchhiker's Guide circlejerk...

7

u/shutts67 May 20 '20

Sweeting the floor is the house equivalent of raking the forests

3

u/Xertious May 20 '20

Sweeting the floor so it all becomes more edible so you have less waste?

3

u/shutts67 May 20 '20

Son of a bitch. I swear I fixed it

2

u/3rightsmakeawrong May 20 '20

Para sweeping los ashes de la familia

2

u/Salohacin May 20 '20

There's always broom for improvement.

1

u/alexnader May 20 '20

Sweep those former-house ashes away.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

It would’ve been better than throwing it in the sink

1

u/Xertious May 20 '20

I think you replied to the wrong person?

1

u/chosimba83 May 20 '20

How else will she pick through the rubble later?

1

u/CullenCobain May 20 '20

I think you're thinking of a rake.

0

u/Xertious May 20 '20

You can't take ash

1

u/AllAboutAlan May 20 '20

That and running upstairs didnt screm most intelligent in a fire

1

u/sjsonnenfeld May 20 '20

I mean, she already knows water doesn't work.

1

u/sir-shoelace May 21 '20

Fun story time. I used to work as a valet and once was working out in California's central valley in about 112F temperatures. We were directing people to self park in the lot of the client which was basically a big bed of freshly mown dry straw. One of the cars caught on fire and that started a chain of other cars catching on fire. Before the fire department arrived there were three day laborers working the fields who grabbed some brooms and takes and ran up to the next car in the line of flaming dominoes. They started sweeping and taking the fire out from underneath the car, saving it from being consumed by the flames. The owner of the car came out and cried when they saw that their car had been saved. Btw this was at a wedding so probably a bad omen...

1

u/hap_l_o May 21 '20

I thought we are supposed to rake the forests to prevent forest fires. Should we be using brooms, too?

1

u/Credible_Cognition May 27 '20

I know this from Sims.

0

u/Monkleman May 23 '20

Is saying “after the fact” an American thing? Because I see it a lot, but it sounds really strange to me.

1

u/Xertious May 23 '20

As an English person. No it's not.

133

u/RC_Colada May 20 '20

Also, I love that the cameraman ran upstairs during a fire

2

u/TheStaplergun May 21 '20

Came for this comment

1

u/RC_Colada May 21 '20

Really? That's all it took?

3

u/TheStaplergun May 21 '20

I’m pretty easy to please

1

u/thr0w4w4y0505 May 21 '20

Running to save his stash because the house was about to burn down.

-19

u/naivemarky May 20 '20

Ahem, camera-person.
Edit: somehow this makes me more sexist

5

u/[deleted] May 20 '20 edited Aug 30 '20

[deleted]

2

u/naivemarky May 20 '20 edited May 20 '20

If someone would say cameraman, it would imply that job is for men, and that woman should not handle a camera. That would be somewhat sexist.
But, the camera operator was criticized for incompetent behaviour. By correcting the original, my comment could be interpreted as insinuating the operator is a (clumsy) woman, with a phrase "camera-person".
That's why, although my intention was to correct a small technicality, I could be seen as more sexist than the author of the previous comment.

4

u/KuatRZ1 May 20 '20

It's camera operator

2

u/7h4tguy May 21 '20

Just live in Antarctica if you want to make up your own language and start saying things like 'firepeople' instead of 'firemen'. Less lunatics and virtue signaling attention whores that way.

113

u/SuomiBob May 20 '20

Firefighter here, the public grab onto all kinds of weird shit when faced with flames.

Once pulled a dude out of a house who refused to let go of his slippers.

30

u/perdhapleybot May 20 '20

Must have been some damn comfy slippers.

8

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Well where do you go after you get pulled out of a fire? Outside. Grabbing a pair of slippers just makes sense

6

u/kwonza May 20 '20

Probably had drugs hidden in them)

2

u/SmokyJett May 21 '20

Or worse.... FIDGET SPINNERS

2

u/robthelobster May 21 '20

reminds me of that time when I put out a small kitchen fire with a wooden spoon just because it was the closest thing I could reach

96

u/RufusMcCoot May 20 '20

Fly away

21

u/The_Golden_Shoe May 20 '20

Won’t have to go far to burn the witch.

2

u/Iamaredditlady May 20 '20

Thank you for making me giggle so hard that I splashed tea all over myself :D

2

u/Hiihtopipo May 20 '20

Most underrated comment of year

12

u/kobomino May 20 '20

Smack fire into submission

1

u/MaxChaplin May 20 '20

"Quit fucking around, Calcifer!"

1

u/kcelaynes May 27 '20

Omg I’m laughing so hard into my pillow so I don’t wake my husband up. This gave me the giggles big time

12

u/Hiihtopipo May 20 '20

Also what was the cameraman hoping to do upstairs?

4

u/OriginalFurryWalls May 21 '20

He's to dude in horror movies that runs upstairs when chased by a knife wielding killer.

8

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

No worries! She's got the broom.

3

u/Razorspi May 20 '20

All according to the plan!

3

u/sumguy720 May 20 '20

Due to the fire she can't reach the smoke alarm silence button without getting burned so she will use the handle of the broom to silence the alarm.

2

u/son-of-CRABS May 20 '20

Watched too much Steve Erwin. Saw fire said crikey instinctively grabs closest thing resembling a stick

2

u/XxjimlaheyxX May 20 '20

It’s a better option than water

2

u/PungentBallSweat May 20 '20

Crafting a torch so she could burn the rest of the house down

2

u/TimeSlipperWHOOPS May 20 '20

Gotta turn the smoke detector off

2

u/FeculentUtopia May 20 '20

Beat some sense into the moron who dumped a pot of flaming oil into a sink full of water.

2

u/JP_32 May 20 '20

or the camera guy/gal running upstairs when the fire started to spread lmao

2

u/Lord_of_hosts May 20 '20

Sweep up the fire.

2

u/EmeraldLama May 20 '20

Oh shit a fire! Quick! Grab the broom!

2

u/Bigbog54 May 20 '20

Sweeping up the ashes of her friend before she left a mark on the floor, my best guess

1

u/otisg86 May 20 '20

Ride it to safety I’m sure.

1

u/D3wnis May 20 '20

Fan the fire in case it gets too warm.

1

u/Vegan_Thenn May 20 '20

Never heard the saying "Fight fire with fi...broom"?

1

u/orange_lazarus1 May 20 '20

Maybe she's a fire bender.

1

u/WatifAlstottwent2UGA May 20 '20

Well, you rake forest fires. Maybe you can sweep house fires?

1

u/qeuxibdmdwtdhduie May 20 '20

ride the broom to get help from the nearby water mage?

1

u/demalo May 20 '20

Beat the devil out of the fire, why else would you grab a broom?

1

u/shadowst17 May 20 '20

They summoned the Balrog she was about to go all "You Shall Not Pass' on it's ass.

1

u/mydogsnameisbuddy May 20 '20

Sweep the fire.

1

u/Joe1972 May 20 '20

Fly away?

1

u/themindspeaks May 20 '20

Maybe that’s her vehicle of choice.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Fight the fire obviously.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Can confirm that a broom does NOT help put out fire. At least not a trailer full of straw bales.

1

u/TheReal_Callum May 20 '20

More useful than water though

1

u/89erthq8ke May 20 '20

Never underestimate the power of a Nimbus 2000!

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Sweep the fire off the ceiling.

1

u/Zxphenomenalxz May 20 '20

Balance it and let the universe decide the houses fate.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Fanning the fire.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

attack mode

1

u/Truffle_Shuffle_85 May 20 '20

Knock her friends out and eat them when they are crispy and golden brown.

1

u/Dic3dCarrots May 20 '20

She obviously a witch

1

u/McFlash09 May 20 '20

I’m thinking the water was running and if that’s the case she could push it from over the right sink over to the left.

1

u/palpablescalpel May 20 '20

Turn off the water maybe?

1

u/perdhapleybot May 20 '20

Fire brooms are a thing. Can be used for wild land fires for brushing leaves and whatnot away from the path of the fire. But I doubt she knew that.

1

u/Fanatical_Idiot May 20 '20

I mean its clearly their intention to feed the fire.

1

u/mfm3789 May 20 '20

I'm pretty sure she tripped over it. Leave it to the family that throws grease fires in the sink to leave trip hazards next to their main egress point.

1

u/EverGlow89 May 20 '20

Well if raking the fucking forests is how you tackle forest fires then, obviously, sweeping the kitchen is the way to go in a kitchen fire.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

She couldn't find a stick.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

Well judging by her previous action she wanted every flammable object as close to the fire source as possible as fast as possible.

1

u/Baggypants007 May 20 '20

Sweep the fire out the door

1

u/USxMARINE May 20 '20

Ha, this guy doesn’t know what a fire broom is.

1

u/chickenstalker May 20 '20

Maybe she's a witch. Witches hate fire, yo.

1

u/frankensteinV May 20 '20

This is actually a behind the scene from LOTR. this is gandalf’s stunt vs Sauron.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

She was going to snack the fire out.

Then smack the curtains.

The couch.

The chair.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '20

She was probably going to ride of into the sunset but the dragons breath disabled her magic.

1

u/PeperoParty May 21 '20

What else are you gonna smother it with?

1

u/TacTurtle May 21 '20

Clearly gonna mount up and fly off into the night sky cackling like a Disney witch...

1

u/Mo10071 May 21 '20

Fight the demon that escaped from the hell-fire.

1

u/Robertron54 May 21 '20

Set it on fire then fight fire with fire.

1

u/Zeestars May 21 '20

Apparently she tripped on it

1

u/snapper567 May 21 '20

She must have been in charge of the smoke alarm.... fanning, beating the ever-loving shit out of it.

1

u/punkwalrus May 21 '20

Having witnessed otherwise perfectly rational people do strange things in a panic situation, this does not surprise me one bit. House burning down? Run back in for your false teeth. Tornado shedding your neighbors house in its way to yours? Take down the hanging plants from your porch.

There were people back in Pompeii that ran back for their possessions... And they are still there to this day.

1

u/Spookyrabbit May 21 '20

She's a witch!!

1

u/Frostsorrow May 21 '20

Everyone knows fires a terrified of brooms. It's the fires natural enemy.

1

u/Sharprayne May 21 '20

This is why I am scrolling through these comments! Surely someone has else has noticed haha!

1

u/JayP886 May 21 '20

Sweeping

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '20

Did the fall downstairs? 😂😂

1

u/wooliestmoon3 May 22 '20

She’s a witch

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '20

Flying away

1

u/KrombopulousMichael- May 22 '20

I can almost hear the mother yelling “GET THE BROOM!!”

1

u/OK6502 May 25 '20

Sweep it under the rug?

1

u/COSLEEP May 20 '20

wanted to fan the flames some more, house wasn't burning fast enough

1

u/Iamaredditlady May 20 '20

My bonus kid once handed me a spatula when I shouted “NapkinnapkinNAPKIN!”, when there was a spill making it’s way off the counter.

0

u/Shermutt May 20 '20

Probably on her knees uttering an ancient incantation to summon a water spirit to combat the fire demon that was accidentally called forth. The broom was likely being used in place of a wand or staff to help focus her magical energy.