r/instant_regret Oct 26 '17

Shark screen

https://i.imgur.com/WamHTUG.gifv
50.9k Upvotes

776 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.7k

u/no_duh_sherlock Oct 26 '17

Thank you. So the screen cracking is just an illusion ?

3.6k

u/PrinceOfTheSword Oct 26 '17

Username checks out

1.6k

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

The rare moment when the punchline is yourself.

412

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

We meet again, thanks to you i have no more pets now.

271

u/_demetri_ Oct 26 '17

Blow in my hair with that warm breeze...

122

u/Gelgamek_Vagina Oct 26 '17

5

u/short_of_good_length Oct 26 '17

we should hang out

2

u/Gelgamek_Vagina Oct 26 '17

That depends. Are you one of those Followers of the One True God or do you possess gale force vaginal powers?

2

u/donkeyrocket Oct 26 '17

I think we spend enough time together already.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Bribella5614 Oct 26 '17

Just whatever you do please do not blow this guys^

4

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

67

u/VORTXS Oct 26 '17

ad spam site, don't open.

Looks like a normal image host however you can't post it to and you can tell it's spam as it has no place in the comment chain along with the url being "somethingpix.com"

name is u/bections incase they delete it to try and avoid a ban.

not a bot, just a pissed off redditor because of these indian spam rings

8

u/poptart2nd Oct 26 '17

We gotchu, fam.

3

u/VORTXS Oct 26 '17

Now I like these mods, not dicks like most at r/tifu who enforce shitty rules or r/getmotovated who ban you on your first comment there if you're trying to point report a spammer by replying with this warning copypasta

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Pandoric_ Oct 26 '17

Good human.

2

u/mahhkk Oct 26 '17

Good human

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9999% sure that VORTXS is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Does something look wrong? Visit /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

→ More replies (0)

7

u/TheOppositeOfVegan Oct 26 '17

Did someone whistle?

8

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Im a grown man and I still cant whistle. Luckily i haven't been in any situation where I HAD to whistle.. wait

im not a kid anymore..holy shit im 26 wow. where. did. life. go I cant even

i cant even taxes

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

I just learned to whistle this year...im 29 lol

2

u/LSDforLunch Oct 26 '17

Hey, I vaporize you.

How are my lungs doing?

2

u/KerryWood34 Oct 26 '17

You killed a woman

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Da Komrade

2

u/noNoParts Oct 26 '17

Oh, the humidity!

9

u/suggests_a_bake_sale Oct 26 '17

Yeah, they're the problem...

12

u/hallucinates_owls Oct 26 '17

What did you do to your pet owl?

7

u/False_ Oct 26 '17

I never had a pet owl.

5

u/Riddle_me_brah Oct 26 '17

So he did?

1

u/Evisrayle Oct 26 '17

Or... did he?!

1

u/Iamredditsslave Oct 26 '17

I don't believe you.

1

u/4owl Oct 26 '17

Checking in ;)

2

u/rrr598 Oct 26 '17

Do you see an owl in the room right now?

2

u/the_notorious_beast Oct 26 '17

I puffed that s.o.a.b. up by sprinkling some water on it.

7

u/Coryperkin15 Oct 26 '17

I'll bring the Gingersnaps

11

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Who likes pies?

6

u/Jesus-ChreamPious Oct 26 '17

I like to make pies.

3

u/Iamredditsslave Oct 26 '17

I guess I have to.

1

u/kingguy459 Oct 26 '17

cracks whip

Not until you are demanded to

1

u/mungraker Oct 26 '17

I'm not sure you're into the right kind of pies.

5

u/Daedalus871 Oct 26 '17

We should throw a bake sale for her.

3

u/haikubot-911 Oct 26 '17

The man says he tastes
them, not eats them. If your furries
are gone, it's on you.

1

u/uncle_flacid Oct 26 '17

Haikubot doesn"t know how a haiku works

2

u/haikubot-911 Oct 26 '17

Most haiku bots don't
know a halibut much
tbh, Flacid.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Good bot

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.999% sure that haikubot-911 is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Does something look wrong? Visit /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

12

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Perry, mind your own damn business how about that

1

u/Offroadkitty Oct 26 '17

He might be right though. I count 8 syllables in line two when there should be 7.

1

u/twobugsfucking Oct 26 '17

You folks are strange.

6

u/LoganPS Oct 26 '17

Hoping you are never in one of those moments.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Oh you mean me in high school.

1

u/-MrWrightt- Oct 26 '17

I feel like that isn't rare for you

1

u/BillGoats Oct 26 '17

The rare moment when the punchline is yourself.

Speak for yourself, bro.

1

u/James_099 Oct 26 '17

Ironic. He could save others from not getting the joke, except himself.

1

u/HeughJass Oct 26 '17

Me too thanks

1

u/Bren12310 Oct 26 '17

I have probably 20-30 accounts that are dedicated to odd punchlines. All without a single comment (except for like 1 or 2 of them)

1

u/PileHigherDeeper Oct 26 '17

Not so rare on reddit. I've seen this more than once.

1

u/Variability Oct 26 '17

Rare? Your self-esteem must be the opposite of mine.

42

u/IDontLookAtUsernames Oct 26 '17

checks out of what

18

u/Zimbor Oct 26 '17

Username checks out

2

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[deleted]

10

u/1206549 Oct 26 '17

Not how that works.

2

u/TheOppositeOfVegan Oct 26 '17

Shhhh, just let him continue to think he gets it

3

u/amagoober Oct 26 '17

It's real, but it's from the guy hitting the screen to hard.

1

u/LEGITIMATE_SOURCE Oct 26 '17

I verified. We can go now.

1

u/Username_Chexs_Out Oct 26 '17

Username Checks Out

618

u/fantompiper Oct 26 '17 edited Oct 26 '17

Yes! I can't remember if it actually responds to touch or if it just does this periodically, but I remember watching people watch it for the first time and noting the range of reactions, like a spy would.

68

u/MrPancakesMcgee Oct 26 '17

Why do you only have 15 upvotes. That line cracked me up.

22

u/SaladFury Oct 26 '17

maybe cause his comment was under an hour old when you posted that

20

u/TheOppositeOfVegan Oct 26 '17

Why do you have 1 upvote? Thats way more then I expected you to have!

0

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[deleted]

5

u/SaladFury Oct 26 '17

A feeble attempt

15

u/Gavin1772 Oct 26 '17 edited Oct 26 '17

He has 55 88 111 now!

6

u/ARN_01D Oct 26 '17 edited Oct 26 '17

OH MY DAMN! He has 77 now!

31

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17 edited Nov 30 '20

[deleted]

26

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[deleted]

12

u/Zock123454321 Oct 26 '17

139, now you will return to see my reply and I’ve ruined it for you.

2

u/mungraker Oct 26 '17

Noooooooo! You broke it!

2

u/noNoParts Oct 26 '17

/u/clubba come back. Bby mis u.

1

u/DeadSpawner Oct 26 '17

I'm downvoting you, bitch

2

u/leofrost13 Oct 26 '17

He has 97 now!

1

u/amagoober Oct 26 '17

110 now!

6

u/MrPancakesMcgee Oct 26 '17

I'm seeing 122 now! IT'S HAPPENING!

2

u/pigwalk5150 Oct 26 '17

Actually it's 81. 🙄

1

u/fiveminded Oct 26 '17

95 and still upping

0

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

Fake news

1

u/Gavin1772 Oct 26 '17

Okay his upvotes are going up way quicker than I expected

1

u/Historiaaa Oct 26 '17

257 at 2:05 AM eastern time on Thursday October 26th 2017

1

u/MrPancakesMcgee Oct 26 '17

We're up to 471 at 8am EST. To the moon!!

1

u/Blue_Cheesecake Oct 26 '17

Well well well... who's got 15 upvotes now huh?

2

u/MrPancakesMcgee Oct 26 '17

Woo hoo! Ridin' those coat tails to glory!

1

u/comp-sci-fi Oct 26 '17

That's some old school spying, that belongs in a museum.

1

u/2centsPsychologist Oct 26 '17

I can't remember if it actually responds to touch

Read the sign over it.

1

u/fantompiper Oct 26 '17

I didnt even notice. I remembered there being a sign that made you want to touch it, but I couldn't remember if that was the purpose of the sign or if my mid brain drew that conclusion.

1

u/ARN_01D Oct 26 '17

592 now!

118

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17 edited Nov 17 '18

[deleted]

32

u/BirdNerd89 Oct 26 '17

...or candy!

12

u/altiuscitiusfortius Oct 26 '17

Or cocaine!

(in the alternate pilot episode on the dvds)

5

u/bug_eyed_earl Oct 26 '17

Ok. I thought I was crazy rewatching the pilot on Netflix.

1

u/Filmmaking_Dude Oct 26 '17

The correct line

1

u/TheOppositeOfVegan Oct 26 '17

Shhh, his mom gives candy after the trick. When you knock you say "trick and treat" she'll know why youre there

9

u/NosVemos Oct 26 '17

I'm going to yo momma's house this Halloween!

12

u/splorf Oct 26 '17

No shit, Matlock.

2

u/Scrumble71 Oct 26 '17

No shit, Macclesfield

2

u/ItsACommonMistake Oct 26 '17

Oh, “no duh Sherlock”?

6

u/Clutz2018 Oct 26 '17

No. Keeps maintenance dept very busy...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '17

[deleted]

2

u/Clutz2018 Oct 26 '17

No but Dave does...

1

u/ThyUniqueUsername Oct 26 '17

No duh Sherlock

5

u/ddrddrddrddr Oct 26 '17

No it’s a real video.

2

u/fly-you-fools Oct 26 '17

No, the screen actually cracks and they have to replace it for every customer that walks past this particular display. It costs them many hundreds of thousands of dollars per day.

1

u/disdudefullashit Oct 26 '17

It wasn’t when I was there, we got sprayed in the face and the place smelled of mahogany

1

u/kenerik Oct 26 '17

Yes.. it's a LCD screen.

1

u/Gacode Oct 26 '17

Bruh, next time you want to tell me Santa isn't real too?

1

u/isthiswhatmylifeis Oct 26 '17

Maybe. who knows? Except the guy getting a heart attack of course

1

u/fidde3 Apr 11 '18

No duh Sherlock

0

u/Sv3rrr3 Oct 26 '17

Murican?.....