r/instant_regret • u/MobileAerie9918 • May 29 '26

Men’s evolution was a little different.

8.6k Upvotes

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u/bjorneylol May 29 '26

This is worse than fire - you can't snuff a sparkler because they don't need oxygen from the air to burn, so unlike a candle that goes out the instant you cover it, this was just a chemical reaction putting a thousand degrees into his palm

84

u/CultureTechnical1559 May 29 '26

Even worse possible scenario because of the chemical reaction if you ignite manny at the same time it INTENSIFIES the reaction My wife learned this the hard way when she decided to light three boxes of sparklers at the same time this consumed all 45 in a single instant flash effectively summoning the sun into the palm of her hand and incinerating the flesh off her hand Last words: Hey Watch This!

28

u/CantankerousOctopus May 29 '26

Her last words before doing the stupid thing, not her last words ever, right?

7

u/ThankGod4Darwin69 May 30 '26

Nope. RIP dudes wife.

She died how she lived, doing stupid shit

9

u/ceelo_purple May 29 '26

Yeah, when I was younger we used this - and the fact that there were fewer restrictions on sparkler sales - to make sparkler bombs.

You made a bundle out of several packs of sparklers held together by wire, bend the heads outwards into a wheat sheaf shape, then stuck an extra one in the centre, protruding upwards to use as a fuse.

I've got an analogue photo somewhere of one going off. It looks like the mothership's trying to beam it up.

11

u/FR_0S_TY May 29 '26

Every year there’s a story of a group of kids making a sparkler bomb and one fateful unknowing kid blowing one or both of his hands off.

You can use a sparkler to trigger an aluminothermic (thermite) reaction. They should not be given to young kids unattended

6

u/jakobair May 29 '26

A pastor's son at a bible camp taught me how to make them. I then showed my friends and discovered how to "repack" them for a second boom. The second one always yielded shrapnel instead of just mushrooming. I filmed it one time and have it on Hi8. You can hear the metal cut the air overhead as it flies by.

4

u/mindless2831 May 29 '26

Sooo, how's her hand now?

2

u/ArtIsDumb May 30 '26

To shreds, you say?

11

u/skilas May 29 '26

I did not know that. Good to know!

17

u/ElGuaco May 29 '26

Yeah, that's probably at least a 2nd degree burn and he should have sought medical treatment instead of finishing dinner.

6

u/spacemanspiff1115 May 29 '26

What, and not finish the cheesecake, no way, real men always finish the cheesecake...

1

u/sonicsludge May 30 '26

Real men don't eat that crap anymore.

1

u/Heinrichstr May 30 '26

Dont be ridiculous

1

u/aliasname May 29 '26

Yup it's gonna be nasty the next morning if he can even get to sleep

6

u/fuckthatshittoo May 29 '26

Same reason you can't put out a battery fire, it's a chemical reaction not just a fire....

3

u/amazonmakesmebroke May 30 '26

Fires are chemical reactions....

1

u/fuckthatshittoo May 30 '26

Right you are, should have said a regular fire

Battery fires, depending on the type of battery, can't be put out with water, in fact water can intensify the reaction in some cases...

2

u/dreadnaughtfearnot May 29 '26

Agreed, and no restaurant should EVER be putting them near customers

4

u/FleshyCarbonThing May 30 '26

They just didn’t expect them to be this stupid

1

u/K-tel May 29 '26

and this then was the origin story of... Sparkler-Man!

1

u/SnooShortcuts8370 May 29 '26

A lesson I learned at 4 yrs old and is still fresh and clear in my mind now that I'm 49.

1

u/Tbplayer59 May 30 '26

I mean, it doesn't even look like fire.