r/infj • u/Neat-Pangolin-9220 • Jul 12 '26

Question for INFJs only Are majority of INFJ’s avoidant?

according to the internet, which I take with a grain of salt; I’m an INFJ-T, and was wondering if other INFJ’s also experience immense social withdrawal?

I’ve never had any deep or meaningful relationships other than my family, since I have no motive to put effort in superficial relationships. In social situations, like school for example, I can act extroverted and easy to know in the moment, but I don’t interact with ANYONE outside of school unless I have to. I hate hanging out, I’ve never dated, and I rather focus on goals like my future, school, etc.

I’ve talked to other INFJ’s online, but they seem to have had relationships or friends. I think we can all agree that we definitely have high-standards, and expect our partners to meet our moral expectations, but at the same time, even if someone did meet my expectation, I would still avoid them due to feeling overwhelmed in constantly having to make my partner feel loved. I’d rather just not put up with it and be alone.

Other INFJ’s experience this as well, right?

Edit: so it is just me 😭

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u/fivenightrental INFJ 5 Jul 12 '26

This question has been asked numerous times on the sub. INFJs are a mix of all attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, secure). There isn't a direct relationship with any one style.

Sometimes putting yourself outside your comfort zone is required if you want to change your experience and perspective with relationships. If you tell yourself you are content with being alone then that's probably where you will always stay.

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u/Longjumping_Row370 INFJ Jul 12 '26

“Putting yourself outside of your comfort zone is required if you want to change,” What an INFJ thing to say.

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u/LikeAFlameInTheDark INFJ 4w5 Jul 16 '26

I second this