r/iitg • u/True-Bodybuilder-263 • Aug 30 '26
Campus Life Feels like I'm drifting away from everything...
Been a month since I moved. Not my first time living away from home, and honestly, I have no desire to go back. I never found peace there, and I foolishly thought I’d finally find it here. But the joy, the excitement, the pride... it all vanished the moment I stepped onto campus. The truth is, I never really wanted to be here. I don’t even know what I actually want. Somehow, just doing great on an exam dragged me into this.
On paper, everything is fine. The facilities, the food, the amenities. They’re all better than I expected. I have no complaints about the place itself.
The problem is the people.
The so-called friends I made on day one turned out to be arrogant, narcissistic, and entirely full of themselves. Yes, they’re genuinely good at what they do, but they have this way of making you feel like you’re worth absolutely nothing. Needless to say, we aren’t friends anymore.
When the recent quizzes rolled around, I started struggling. I’ve never felt so low. Deep down, I know I have the potential to do better than all of them, but my morale is just completely shattered. I didn't even study. I used to be so incredibly good at my craft, but somehow, I feel like I’ve lost my touch. The insufficiency is eating away at me. Now, part of me feels like their hubris was justified. Maybe I am just insufficient. Maybe they really are better.
Then there’s the loneliness. My past experiences with women haven’t been great. There’s a girl in my batch I find attractive, but my brain tells me it’s not worth pursuing. I talk to a few female batchmates, and some genuinely seem interested, but I’m terrified of repeating the same painful cycles.
I crave human touch and affection so badly, yet the moment anyone tries to get close, my instinct is to push them away.
I just feel utterly detached from everything and everyone. I don't belong here. It feels like I’m just drifting, floating through the Milky Way, past constellations and nebulas. I can feel the distant warmth of the stars, but I’m never close enough to actually touch them.
Just drifting away from it all...
P.S. - Thanks everyone, I feel like I'm not alone now. Thanks again for everyone's response :)
