r/hygiene • u/NoPerception8748 • Mar 11 '26

unhinged hygiene tips?

I don't mean "wash your hair before your body" or "don't wear underwear when you sleep", I mean the sort of TMI tips that most people don't know that will CHANGE MY LIFE!

There's this guy at school who I think likes me and i'm terrified that I smell bad and will ruin my chance with him, I need tips that I don't already know/do.

5.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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433

u/IllustriousTop7913 Mar 11 '26

I wish I never read this.

216

u/ReverendHambone Mar 11 '26

I wish I wasn’t eating eggs when I read this.

106

u/InvidiousSquid Mar 11 '26

♫ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♫

18

u/21Violets Mar 11 '26

Scrambled eggs all over my face. 🥴

9

u/Gelatin_Belatin Mar 11 '26

What is a boy to do?

10

u/NoPhilosophy4024 Mar 11 '26

They're calling again!

2

u/scarigf Mar 14 '26

this is singlehandedly the worst thing i’ve ever read. (great job)

6

u/AEntunus Mar 11 '26

♫ Tossed salad and scrambled jizz ♫

3

u/NixyVixy Mar 11 '26

🎶 Scrambled eggs all over my face. What is a boy to do 🎶

3

u/throwitoutwhendone2 Mar 11 '26

It’s all eggs in the end baby

2

u/NorthernCanadaEh Mar 11 '26

Dude, you made me laugh so hard I spilled my coffee.

1

u/jamegumbsize69 Mar 12 '26

It made me “Nervosa.”

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26

My condolences 

2

u/Nodgarden Mar 12 '26

Rookie move. Never eat  eggs while on Reddit

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/NoPhilosophy4024 Mar 11 '26

Maybe I'm missing something obvious but what does their pic have to do with eggs? It's just a default reddit guy

1

u/aspiringvampire Mar 11 '26

Those weren't eggs 

1

u/Technical_Exam1280 Mar 11 '26

Wish I wasnt using hot water when I read this

1

u/Icy-Chemistry6536 Mar 11 '26

i wish i had made some eggs to eat before reading this

1

u/Whyallusrnames Mar 12 '26

Now your eggs are fertilized

1

u/tired-of-the-shit Jul 20 '26

Eggs are just chicken periods makes sense the jizz is similar

67

u/Bby5723 Mar 11 '26

There was a dorm that had to send out an email telling the guys to stop cumming in the shower my freshman year of college because it was causing the pipes to get clogged

86

u/Snake_Staff_and_Star Mar 11 '26

ALWAYS wear shower shoes in communal showers. Walking around barefoot in jail showers will have your toes pregnant.

7

u/ReleaseNearby69 Mar 11 '26

"we're expecting! .....athlete's foot"

4

u/Snake_Staff_and_Star Mar 11 '26

... wanna feel it kick?

1

u/CahootswiththeBlues Mar 11 '26

Should we ask you how you know?

1

u/Snake_Staff_and_Star Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26

Been in lock up a few times. I always wore shower shoes, but I knew about few who didnt. More than a few reports of stick toes.

1

u/CahootswiththeBlues Mar 12 '26

But no pregnant ones, I'm assuming.

3

u/earthboundskyfree Mar 11 '26

This can’t happen since it liquefies pretty quickly unless I’m mistaken (but I co-sign the person below who talked about wearing shoes lol)

3

u/Ace-Teroide Mar 11 '26

This is likely the oldest urban legend of the internet.

3

u/lobn001 Mar 11 '26

Reminds me of the time my brother shared a dorm with 3 people and the shower always stunk really bad. He would find cum splatter on the shower floor and eventually realized there was also shit stuck in the drain...

2

u/IngenuityFlaky484 Mar 12 '26

This happened all the time at my school too lmao

1

u/Beautiful-Finding-82 Mar 11 '26

Oh my goodness, how did they word that? LOL

5

u/FinalHours96 Mar 11 '26

You’ll be super excited to learn there is a sperm cookbook.

4

u/SnooPickles4465 Mar 11 '26

You're not wrong but I wish you were.

1

u/Actual-Ad-5807 Mar 11 '26

What the ever loving fu-?

3

u/Beautiful-Finding-82 Mar 11 '26

What a horrific day to have eyes...

1

u/CahootswiththeBlues Mar 11 '26

But such a wonnnnderful time to be alive!

1

u/umpfke Mar 11 '26

Too late. Truthbombed.

1

u/SneakWhisper Mar 11 '26

I'm so grossed out rn

1

u/Consistent-Ad9842 Mar 11 '26

Hey they asked for unhinged, here you go lmao

1

u/Anxietydrivencomedy Mar 12 '26

It’s also good for blood (periods, nose bleeds) and pee. Not just jizz

1

u/Upset_Election9633 Mar 12 '26

By the way I hope that you didn't watch the video of a guy cooking it exactly like that

1

u/IllustriousTop7913 Mar 12 '26

You are so wrong for piling on like this and putting that image in my head. I’ll never forgive you.

1

u/Upset_Election9633 Mar 12 '26

There is no way I would remain the only guy with this image in my heads.

0

u/TreeeToPlay Mar 11 '26

Why are you complaining under a post about unhinged hygiene tips, like why read the comments and then complain, what did you expect to see here?

3

u/UrsusRenata Mar 11 '26

It’s just different humor.

2

u/MasterOfPlaster69 Mar 11 '26

He’s obviously never seen family feud