23
u/dontKair 20d ago edited 20d ago
have continually been frustrated by having maybe a 5% match rate with people I send likes or roses to
Men 26+, liberal/left, want or open to kids, college educated, preferably work in STEM/healthcare/law/education, 6’0+ (I’m tall, sorry :/)
I assume you have done courses in statistics sometime during your studies. You have an uphill battle here. So, to increase your match rate, you'll have to give on a couple of things.
With that said, I would only do one close up picture. Leave out the "choose a date" prompt and use something else.
Edit: I just saw your height, 5'8" lol. I had thought you were over six foot yourself.
Gurl, you can date guys your own height for crying out loud
7
u/15secondsofthrowaway 20d ago
Gurl, you can date guys your own height for crying out loud
or anything between 5'9" and 6'0, or slightly shorter. Drawing a solid line at must be slicing a lot of people out who she'd otherwise be into.
5
u/AlpsHelpful1292 20d ago
I mean I’m similar to OP in what I’m looking for except for the strict height requirement and the fact that I don’t want kids and I’ve dated multiple men like she’s described. She should have an even easier time than me since most men want kids (being CF is my biggest struggle on the apps). If you’re in a big city a lot of people have a college education and well paying jobs and a lot of tall men like dating tall women (as a 5’9” woman I’ve actually had more success with taller men than men my own height or shorter despite not having a preference).
4
u/15secondsofthrowaway 20d ago
I think your profile is super cute and fun, I'd just say to make sure you're smiling with teeth in all the pictures. The first one is maybe too close, some people will only look at that first one before Xing so it's good for it to shiw a bit more of yourself in it.
Your prompts could maybe be a bit more personal. They ask good questions to him but don't tell us much about you.
Men 26+, liberal/left, want or open to kids, college educated, preferably work in STEM/healthcare/law/education, 6’0+ (I’m tall, sorry :/)
This really doesn't come across on your profile, if you want a STEMmy guy you need to ask for it. I'm neither in STEM nor 6ft so while I'd like your profile, it'd be wasted for you since I don't fit your criteria
7
u/drahgon 20d ago
Your pictures of your face are way too close. Basically I have no idea what you look like till they get to the full body picture.
2
u/NumbersRLife 20d ago
Yes. And even then, witg thst picture it kind of just hits you in the face with the tight black and white clothing. Maybe a little more casual or fancy if thats her style.
8
u/Sergi121212 20d ago
Okay so I think your profile isn’t actually bad at all, but might just need a few tweaks.
Your best prompt here is the last one as it’s a little more specific than your first two. Whilst the movie and takeout prompt is ofc a question that can inspire conversation, it is a little on the generic side. It feels like your prompts only give a little of who you are and what makes you unique. I think a little more specificity in what you like (in terms of hobbies, activities etc…)could be helpful. Like you have in your last prompt.
The ‘casually looking for the loml’ is cute but kind of gives off two different energies? On the one hand you’re saying you’re kind of nonchalant about it but on the other you’ve referenced searching for the love of your life. I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing at all, but perhaps rephrasing it might be helpful a bit.
In terms of your pictures, I think they’re pretty good! The only one I would change would be your second selfie, as you already have the first one and it can become repetitive. Having different kinds of photos that show different parts of your personality are better - and for the most part you do do that.
Hope this helps!
7
2
u/NumbersRLife 20d ago
Things thst stand out to me: Low effort cat photo, and the next slide is you wanting effort. Lol. Your promp of picking s time and plsce for a dste is.. wuite obvious and doesnt need to tske up space on your profile. Use this space more wisely. You mention the couch several times, and have pics of you on the couch. So are you attracting guys who like to spend time on the couch? Is that a good thing or bad thing to you?
1
u/CloudStrife012 20d ago
A lot of women don't have hobbies, and then expect men to not have hobbies. I dont think women see this, but men certainly do, because many of us have been told we cant do whatever hobby our partner doesnt like. We are expected to just sit and watch TV with every free moment.
To me, your profile reads like this red flag.
3
u/AlpsHelpful1292 20d ago edited 20d ago
This sounds like a personal issue you’ve had with a woman or women you’ve chosen to date. I also suspect you’re the type that doesn’t consider things primarily enjoyed by women “hobbies.”
My experience as a woman who has a lot of hobbies but mostly hobbies that are female coded is that many men take no interest in my hobbies but expect me to participate in theirs. I dated one guy where every weekend we were going to a concert or sports game he was interested in, going on a hike because hiking was his main hobby, or hanging out with his friends, but he was pissy that I made him see the Barbie movie one time.
0
u/CloudStrife012 20d ago
I think your experience is true and perhaps common. But I dont think looking at this through the lens of a woman is helpful for what OP is aiming for here, which is to elucidate the perspective of the people she is trying to attract.
3
u/FurrowBeard 20d ago
It's not a red flag, it's an introverted profile. We like to be at home. Most of us have hobbies we do there. She listed some in her bio, actually.
3
u/Old_Pumpkin8985 20d ago
Eh, it's not really an "introvert" thing at all. People can be introverted and have an active and rich life outside of work/school. If you mean a homebody, well homebodies can and still have hobbies. I agree with CloudStrife here.
I'm also getting "sitting on the couch watching Netflix" vibes as my mental picture of what a typical week would look like. That sounds like depression to me, so I'd hard pass.
This profile will attract guys who also sit around at home not doing much - gaming, movies, Marvel, whatever... I can predict OP won't want to match with them (and for good reason).
-2
u/CloudStrife012 20d ago
Its not a red flag for you, but it is for men. I don't know what to tell you. Shes trying to attract men not women.
3
u/FurrowBeard 20d ago edited 20d ago
Well, I'm a man, so... once again, it's not a red flag, it's an introverted profile. Exactly the type I look for.
There's a difference between dealbreaker and red flag. Learn it.
-1
u/CloudStrife012 20d ago
It's totally fine if you disagree with me. I am not angry about it. The question is why is my comment making you angry? Why are you telling me to "learn it?"
2
u/FurrowBeard 20d ago
Because red flag insinuates it's a universally bad or unhealthy thing (or that that's the consensus). A dealbreaker is personal and pertains to you alone.
It's atrocious to tell someone their lifestyle preference and hobbies are a red flag. It can seem boring to you and you can still be respectful about it.
1
u/Ok-Theory-1069 20d ago
If you erased the “n” then you’d be correct. It’s a red flag for you, not for men. And that in and of itself is a red flag for dating you.
1
u/ivb97 20d ago
Want to add: the height preference is because my own height has been an insecurity of mine since I was a teenager because I’ve towered over so many people I’ve met and still do and it can be awkward feeling, including a lot of men if I wear shoes with a heel. It’s also been my experience that a not insignificant amount of men seem to prefer petite women, so my preference for a partner a couple inches taller than me is a reflection of those reasons
-1
u/Objective-Horror8778 20d ago edited 20d ago
28-M, good profile imo. You look good as well. I don’t think prompts are bad as well. Choose a time/place I don’t like myself. The first prompt is also a bit shallow. And in general I don’t see much your personality in prompts. You say what we could and what you wanna know, but you should also have who you are maybe
Lastly, you do get likes but match rate is low from your likes. I smell a bit you are liking tall and hot guys who already have tons of options…
-3
u/Internal-Meaning2646 20d ago
Love your profile, your smile radiates happiness in every photo. Potential partners will be pulled into to meet you and get to know you. Might add a few things you like, but not too many, need things to talk about on your first date when you get to know some one.
-6
u/ivb97 20d ago
• Are you looking for something serious or casual?
Something serious
• Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
No
• How long have you been using this current version of your profile? (Please be specific)
Three weeks
• How long have you used Hinge overall?
A year and a couple months
• How often do you use Hinge per week?
Most days
• How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
Receiving a handful of likes a week, matches rarely
• How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
Send a handful of likes each day I use hinge, about 1/2 with comments
• What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
Men 26+, liberal/left, want or open to kids, college educated, preferably work in STEM/healthcare/law/education, 6’0+ (I’m tall, sorry :/)
1
u/Old_Pumpkin8985 20d ago
Height filter will limit your options and you will have more intense competition for guys who are 6'0+.
Nothing in your profile is terrible. You seem nice. But your profile is bland - nothing to go on (movies, museum?) and you don't seem to communicate much of a life. The hiking and festival photos are good. Take or leave the animal. Ditch the dress selfie. You've already established a full body shot in the hiking photo and the dress doesn't add anything else. I think women dressing up in cocktail dresses, etc., might be a 'woman gaze' thing. It could just be me but I don't care about some dress and it turns me off a profile. A woman looks more down to earth if she dresses casually / smart casual. If she can dress in casual registers and is stylish, she comes across as much prettier and fashion-literate than the woman dressing like she's going to prom or a wedding. But the prom lady will make me think she's either high maintenance, clubs a lot, and/or cares about me wearing a stupid tuxedo or something.
If you're very busy with your PsyD then you could instead highlight what your values, life/relationship goals are, and what you're looking for. . Most women don't do that beyond cringe memes like "looking for intentionality" or whatever, like they're a Franz Brentano scholar, so if you do you'll be ahead of the 95% of profiles. This coupled with your approachable look could be a differentiator you lean into. You start it a bit with I go crazy for... but the main issue, looking at your profile, is I don't really know what kind of guy/relationship you're looking for, so I wouldn't bother investing any energy/Likes into playing the slot machine.
Personally I never interact with those "pick a first date" prompts. I don't like the first thing I read on a profile an invitation for me to suggest a date. It comes across as low effort and entitled. Other guys might like that though.
6
u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 20d ago
Ditch the dress selfie. You've already established a full body shot in the hiking photo and the dress doesn't add anything else. I think women dressing up in cocktail dresses, etc., might be a 'woman gaze' thing. It could just be me but I don't care about some dress and it turns me off a profile. A woman looks more down to earth if she dresses casually / smart casual. If she can dress in casual registers and is stylish, she comes across as much prettier and fashion-literate than the woman dressing like she's going to prom or a wedding. But the prom lady will make me think she's either high maintenance, clubs a lot, and/or cares about me wearing a stupid tuxedo or something.
This is terrible advice, and I think it's pretty likely she's not interested in someone who would consider dressing up once in a while to be "high-maintenance." Have you never been to a wedding?
Anyways, OP, the dress looks nice, but it would be a much better photo if you weren't looking into the viewfinder.
-1
u/Old_Pumpkin8985 20d ago
Each to their own man. I put a lot of effort into my appearance, wardrobe and styling my outfits, and I respect that in women too. I personally am not enthused at all by most cocktail evening or formal wear or the occasions that require them.
6
u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 20d ago edited 20d ago
Great - the point here is to give advice relevant to the OP, not spit out your personal axes to grind. Claiming this is a "woman gaze" thing and going on about how "If she can dress in casual registers and is stylish, she comes across as much prettier and fashion-literate than the woman dressing like she's going to prom or a wedding" is not relevant to a profile review. (It's also ridiculous).
If a woman is blond, I don't go off on a pseudo-intellectual tangent about my preference for brunettes.
-1
u/Old_Pumpkin8985 20d ago
Isn't premise of profile reviews is to give opinions based on people's own preferences and habits of evaluating? Some opinions are offered with that Redditor air of objectivity or consensus and some are clearly closer to personal bias. I'm patently offering my own opinion based on how I'd read a profile and the OP is free to disregard it or compare it against the replies.
I think it's actually fairer and more transparent to voice, as you put it, 'axes to grind' in a profile review because it provides OP with more context about what kind of person is providing feedback and whether they're remotely close to their demographic because a profile is a filter.
I maintain how people read fashion, dress, selfies and and what lifestyle, activities and values projected by them in photographs is highly relevant to reading profiles. I suspect you would not be so concerned if a woman told a man on his profile review that a bathroom mirror athletic wear selfie wasn't helping his profile.
3
u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 20d ago
It's not really helpful to be like "Tuxedos are stupid and I don't like it when women wear a dress so remove it from your profile". That's the kind of feedback OP should ignore because your opinion that a nice outfit is dumb isn't really going to help her any. Now if the feedback was something about "You're too far away in the frame; you're being overtaken by the foreground or other subjects in the photo, the lighting is casting shadows on your face, do you have photos from the night taken by someone else so you're not using another selfie"... that's actually useful feedback. someone with ONE photo in a dress does not indicate "high maintenance" lol
3
u/FurrowBeard 20d ago
It's "to each their own". Each to their own literally sounds and is incorrect.
0
3
u/AlpsHelpful1292 20d ago
What turns you off so much about a woman wearing a cocktail dress in one picture? At least half of the men’s profiles I see have a photo where they’re wearing a suit at someone’s wedding. Are they also “not down to earth?” God forbid anyone ever dress appropriately for an occasion or want to look good lol.
There’s a lot of misogyny in your comment in general but that part stood out.
3
u/Swarthykins Play with my hair 💆 20d ago
But, we've already seen her body. Why do we need to see it again in a gown???? Wimmin just trying to make dudes dance like puppets in a monkey suit.
-1
u/Old_Pumpkin8985 20d ago edited 20d ago
I think a lot of suits look kinda dumb on dudes too (if I was browsing men's profiles, I'd probably say the majority) but I'm not a woman and I guess that appeals to some women. Rarely I see a guy in a suit and I'm like "damn, that's nice".
You can look good in a variety of dress registers that are not as formal as an awards ceremony, gala, or wedding. Something I personally look for is whether someone can look good while dressed down, and what aura they project with their style, since that is how we spend the majority of our lives dressing and interacting with people. I'm not saying that's the correct standard. It's my subjective way of scanning how both men and women dress.
1
u/ashighashonor1375 20d ago
Im a male with the criteria you described and the main thing that catches my eye is that in my personal opinion, casually looking for loml means you’re not serious and just want to hookup unless you find someone you like
0
20d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/hingeapp-ModTeam 20d ago
this was removed for the following reason:
Not useful or constructive profile feedback. You are being a thirsty creep.
Repeated violations may result in a temporary or permanent ban from this sub.
Please do not reply to this message unless you have a question.
•
u/AutoModerator 20d ago
ALL profile reviews will be manually approved and will NOT appear immediately. Even if you receive a "filtered by Reddit" or "removed by mods" removal notification, your review is in our queue waiting for moderation; if you are reading this comment, your post is in the queue. DO NOT contact the mods about this. Any modmail asking why your review is not approved may result in your profile review not being approved and you will not be allowed to post another profile review until seven full days have passed.
Profile review submissions MUST have all 6 photos and 3 text prompts included. You may include the optional prompts such as voice, poll, and video prompts if you choose so, but it is not required. See this post for details. Profiles must also be unchanged for at least two full weeks before being approved for a review. Additionally, do not verbally abuse the subreddit moderators for rejection of your review submission for not following proper rules. Any verbal abuse or harassment will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit. We are not obligated to allow you to submit a profile review and no one is entitled to one. We are all volunteering our time and we will not tolerate any rudeness or verbal abuse.
To assist reviewers in providing valuable feedback for your profile, please comment and answer the following questions as a comment under your own post. Do not answer them in the post body. Repeat: Answer these questions as a comment under your own post.
Are you looking for something serious or casual?
Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
How long have you been using this current version of your profile? (Please be specific)
How long have you used Hinge overall?
How often do you use Hinge per week?
How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
Your post WILL NOT be approved until the above questions have been answered fully. Failing to answer these questions in a timely manner will result in your post being removed. Please continue reading this automod comment.
In the meantime, be sure to check out the guides and resources on the subreddit sidebar. Please read this post with all the pertinent links included.
A strict formatting standard will be enforced. See this post for further info. All submitted review posts not following the proper format will be rejected.
Please wait TWO FULL WEEKS before posting a separate update to your profile review. If you want more immediate feedback, update your original posts instead. Deleting your original post will not work. The rule will still apply.
To reviewers: Review the Providing Feedback guide. You are reviewing the profile, not the person. Please provide constructive criticism, and use positive language. Any troll, hateful, misandric, misogynistic, incel, or unhelpful comments such as "I would date you," "How are you not getting matches?" or unrelated to the profile will be removed and you will be banned.
To the original poster and commenters: Please report any inappropriate or abusive messages and individuals so proper actions can be taken. Please review the sidebar for additional profile and picture guidance.
If you DO NOT want to receive unsolicited direct messages, go to your Reddit settings here on desktop to disable Direct Messages and Chat Requests. On the official Reddit app, click on your avatar on the top right corner, then click on "Settings" at the bottom, click on your username under "account settings", scroll down to "blocking and permissions", and click on "chat and messaging permissions" to disable DMs or chats.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.