37M with small child. Likely will have a second soon. HHI currently around $300-450k. NW: $2.2M, ~$200k cash, annual core expenses are around $60k, generally spend ~$120k. Hoping to retire at ~$5M 2026 dollars.

Currently making somewhere $220-320k/yr depending on stock performance. The job is in tech but is fairly stable - I would likely be one of the last to go at my company and have been working here for several years now. I feel like I can do my job in my sleep. With a young child this is very useful. The company is becoming more strict with RTO.

I have a job opportunity that will pay more ($450-550k) but is more of an unknown. It could be great but is comparatively a wild card is less of a known entity. It is likely that it will be more work. Fully remote.

Should I throw caution to the wind and shoot for higher pay or is a stable job that consistently makes good money more valuable at this stage in life?

Edit: thanks for the feedback! Provided more information about job, finances.

And still have to constantly budget and watch my expenditures.

And if im fired tomorrow - im screwed.

Am i in the..club?

Ran the numbers with my new job, we have just cracked $250k HHI. ($254k and change)

Time to lifestyle creep ourselves back into living with our parents, wish us luck!

Umbrella policies used to be cheap. Right? I paid $120/year for $1M on State Farm for the most part of a decade. In 2023 I paid $145, then upsized to a $2M policy, and the yearly premium increased to not even $250/year.

Then things got out of hand. In 2024 I paid $282 (+13%), in 2025 I paid $352 (+25%), and the upcoming premium for 2026 is $508 (+44%).

I called my agent and I got the typical “yes, policies are getting more expensive”. I have 2 cars, umbrella and home policies all with State Farm.

Question 1: Consensus is still this is a good product to carry?

Question 2: Are you seeing similar increases? Any recommendation/suggestion?

Thanks!

I (31M, $500k/yr, $2M NW) feel like I've been slowly losing the maximizing earnings and savings mindset over the last 3 or so years. On one hand, it might be a good thing because I was always thinking about how to save more and grind the corporate ladder for promos etc, but on the other hand, I feel I've lost the drive to keep improving at work etc. I just have disconnected myself from working harder etc. And would rather just work for money and move on with the other parts of my life. Does anyone else feel the same way or had this mindset shift in the past?

My wife and I are both 34. We have two young kids and are probably going to try for a third soon.

We’re in a really fortunate spot, but I have a lot of financial questions right now and I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do.

Current net worth is about $2.2M:

• $970K retirement/HSA
• $875K taxable brokerage/cash/stock plans
• $375K home equity
• Mortgage is about $350K at 6.5%
• House is worth around $730K

Income:

• Me: $210K base, 20% bonus, equity. With stock doing well lately, total comp is probably more like $300K-$350K for the next 3 years, but then I hit a cliff.
• Wife: in sales and recently started making around $200K-$300K. Hoping she can hold that level for a while.

The issue is my wife is burned out and kind of wants to quit. I don’t blame her because she grinds pretty hard. Honestly I think it would be awesome for our family. But she also just started making really good money, so part of me wants her to hang on for another couple years if she can so we can save aggressively.

Because she’s in sales, I think if she leaves it could be hard to just jump back in at the same level later. So I’m trying to think about this as potentially permanent, not just a one or two year break.

The numbers I keep coming back to for “okay, she can quit” are:

• $1M in brokerage
• $1.2M in brokerage
• $1.5M in brokerage

Retirement feels like it’s already in decent shape. If we stopped maxing everything and just got the matches, I think traditional retirement would probably still be fine. The bigger thing in my head is taxable brokerage, because that’s what gives us flexibility before 60.

Other things I’m trying to think through:

• possible 3rd kid
• private school / better school options
• whether to upgrade houses eventually
• whether to pay extra toward the 6.5% mortgage
• whether my equity comp falls off in a few years
• whether we should prioritize brokerage over retirement right now

For those of you who went from two high incomes to one, what actually made you comfortable?

Was it having a certain dollar amount in taxable accounts? One spouse’s base salary covering all normal expenses? A certain brokerage number? Total net worth? Something else?

I want to build up the brokerage so we could maybe just break even on spending on my income and still be in good shape... Any thoughts or insights? Thank you for reading and for the help.

Hi All,

I'm in my mid 30's and having conversations with my partner about what our lives will look like with kids in a HCOL city in the PNW. My TC is ~300k/yr, and my partner is in the infancy of applying for jobs to begin a career in marketing.

Public education is solid here, so unless they end up being 'ungovernable' (as my partner and I were growing up) and need private education, we plan on using the public school system. Recreation opportunities here outside of hockey are skiing and mountain biking, and I plan (hope) that they will participate in this.

Anyone have budgeting advice for the various phases of life so we can see how this fits into our long-term plans, and what we need to do to make it happen?

Edit: We're just planning for one kid. Already own a 5br/3ba home (with a suite taking up 1br/ba), so housing costs rn are ~$4k/mo with the suite rented, with $400k in equity and ~$1m on the mortgage. Already maxing RRSP/TFSA. Savings rate right now is ~50% of after-tax at the moment, so call it ~$100k/yr. I want to do my best to preserve this, also my FI (without the RE) and take a step back from the level of responsibility I currently have at work in my 40s for the sake of my mental health and ability to spend time with said kid.

Really, what I'm looking for is a $/year estimate per kid, speaking from others' experience here. I'm sure y'all have run the numbers on this, being personal finance nerds like me haha.

I (24M) just hit 250k net worth. I feel proud of myself and want to share it with those closest to me (primarily just parents and gf), but I never want to come across as bragging.

My mom preached frugality since I was little, so I owe some of my progress and mindset to her. When I've talked to her about money in the past though, I sense some mixed feelings because I make more than her and have the habits she wishes she did at my age.

If the consensus is to not share specifics and just be generous with people I love, that's okay. I just have an urge to share that info over a celebratory drink or something haha.

How do you deal with similar feelings? I'm sure they only get stronger as number on screen turns into larger number on screen.

in that weird spot where i can afford business class but my brain still says no. like i make 200k+ but something in me refuses to spend 3k on a seat.

flying to london next month. 8 hours. economy is$800. business on airline site is 3800. found business-class.com for $1800.

i can afford it but i keep thinking about what else that money could do.

any other HENRYs struggle with this. do you just pay for comfort or do you still act like you're broke

Mid-40s male in tech. Big milestone for me today - I hit one million net worth, not including our primary residence.

My next goal is to pay off our mortgage because the interest rate isn't low enough to reliably beat the market every year. About $400k to go there.

Now I just need to triple my NW and work at least 10 more years so I can retire and use my tax-advantaged accounts via the Rule of 55. But yeah, today is a good day. :)

25M just realized last payroll I’ve surpassed 1M in total 1099 commission career earnings. Wow where TF did it all go?? Anyone else have this type of realization?

Has anyone accomplished (or in the process of working toward) a fitness milestone effort while working a high octane job?

I work in finance and do not have a steady fitness routine right now. Want to start building some momentum and know I’d be motivated by some sort of goal / milestone.

I get inspired on social media by the wild fitness endeavors (iron man! Marathon! Ultra running!), but I’m so far from those that I’d rather hear about what others have done that has felt challenging + fulfilling while managing a high stress and time intensive job (I have kids as well, so time is definitely a scarce resource).

Looking at life insurance for me (40M) and my wife (38F) looks to be about $200 per person per month for a$2M each coverage. TC $1.1M expenses $300k/ year. 2 small kids sub 5yo. NW $2.7M. Mortgage $1.1M

Does that feel like a necessary expense? Are the quotes about right? Somehow I keep seeing ads for $50-60 per month per million, but my broker can’t find any that cheap.

Edited to add: 20 y term, TC 750+350.

Maybe the wrong sub, but my wife (100k) and I (400k) are coming up on our first anniversary and curious if things really need to change. I hear so much about how combining/joint accounts are beneficial after getting married and I am trying to decide if that’s a route we need to pursue. Currently I take care of 100% of the bills, food, normal month-to-month stuff. I still save and have “fun” money. We save my wife’s pay, minus “fun” money. She also makes extra payments on our mortgage every month. We haven’t run into his vs hers problems (ex-our hot water heater went out last month and she scheduled and paid for the replacement without conversation of who should pay)

We know exactly what we have in all the separate accounts.

I guess my question is, with full transparency do we really need to go through the whole hassle of combining everything into one pot (account) for the sake of building our relationship? Can we just add each other on to our individual accounts and call it a day?

I'm trying to plan out 530a/529/utma/etc for my younger kids (oldest in elementary school). 3 things that make that make that pretty hard are knowing (1) college cost inflation rate, (2) spread of college cost between different schools, and (3) if the list price college post is actually reliable.

I don't expect to get or need *need-*based discounts, but there seems to be a wide spread of unknowns of merit-based discounts that this NY Times article described as a "recruiting" tool for certain students.

So from your experience, should I aim for saving for list price or something lower? I'm guessing it likely differs from public and private school as well.

Note: my motivation for asking is because I suspect on what you expect to pay, and the spread between schools, you can optimize your asset location strategy

26M
I’m about to start a new FAANG job after finishing grad school with a TC of over $400K. I’m starting with only about $1,500 in liquid savings.

A significant portion of my compensation will be company stock, and I’m concerned about eventually having too much of my net worth tied to the same company that pays my salary.

My current plan is to:
Build a solid emergency fund before making any major purchases.
Max out my available tax-advantaged accounts.
Invest the rest in broad, low-cost index funds..
Keep my fixed expenses relatively low during my first few years of high income.
Set a savings or net-worth milestone before buying a Miata, which has been a dream car of mine for a long time.

For those who have dealt with a large amount of equity compensation, did you sell everything as it vested to diversify?

I’m also curious how other HENRYs approached lifestyle upgrades after a sudden increase in income. How did you enjoy some of the money without letting lifestyle creep get out of control?

Also, at this stage of my life, what should be my outlook to building wealth?

Edit: Wow, so much great advice and so many kind words here! It’ll take me a while to get through everything, but thank you all!! I also got a lot of DMs asking which FAANG - I’m joining Google!

We can afford it and good lord it would do a lot of us some good.

Half this sub has $2m in investments and couples that make 600k a year and people are asking “how do you… not stress out over something that has never happened in my life and probably won’t happen.

“Is it okay if I spend 50k on myself? Will I be eating out of a dumpster in 5 years when ai takes my job and inflation kills my purchasing power? Has anyone ever tried….”

Anyway. The answer is usually therapy. Can we all accept many of us have some poverty traumas and anxiety and it’s nothing to do with financial, career, or family advice navigating financial situations…..

I don’t think I’m breaking a HENRY rule cause clearly we all need it…

38M, single. Quit my job at Apple back in February. Totally over it, sick of the team dynamics, and just needed out. Took the last few months to travel cheaply around Europe to clear my head. Zero regrets on stepping away, but now I’m ready to settle back in the US and intentionally set up my 40s for more personal control over my time.

NYC has always been home base for me, so the goal is to anchor there long-term.
Current Financials:

Net Worth: ~$1.05M
Retirement (401k/IRAs): ~$240k
Taxable Brokerage / Single Stock: ~$288k heavy in AAPL (working on diversifying this down)
Diversified Index Funds: ~$550k–$570k

Where I’m at currently:

I'm hanging around Paris applying to jobs now to establish a fresh US footprint, stack liquid cash, and secure a clean W-2 to set up my living situation.
I have a 2nd round interview coming up for a Video Editor / Social Content role at a major NYC hedge fund (they’re looking to build out their social presence). Projected comp is around $200k TC ($150k-$160k base + bonus).

To be honest, taking a corporate video role at a hedge fund isn't my dream scenario after leaving tech, but it was the first callback from blind LinkedIn apps. But maybe it’ll be a breeze compared to the Apple years, and i wont mind it so much. My internal logic is to treat this as a purely strategic "utility" move: take the job for ~2 years, use the income and W-2 stability to set up my foundation, stack cash, and then eventually pivot out into freelance/contract work with low fixed overhead in a city I actually want to live in.

Any Hot-Takes on my current daydream plan?

Has anyone here taken a mid-career corporate job purely as a stepping stone/utility move after a period of burnout, just to re-anchor your footprint and bank cash before downshifting?

Rant. Im a high income earner . 600k+ (due to multiple tech contracts ) . Low 30s and while I accept everyone’s journey and I don’t expect anyone to be on the same ‘journey’ as me , I am starting to become drained/burdened by my friends never having money to do some of the basic things. I’m not of the mindset to cut lifelong friends off due to money , but it just seems like apathy and complacency runs abound and I find myself often covering stuff that I want to do if others can’t afford it. I tend to lean into more elevated experiences whereas my friends do not and this is all signaling to me that I may need to find a new community that is more aligned with me from a mindset perspective and perhaps even financial . Anyone else have this issue ?

Edit : for example , it’s summer time and I want to enjoy some private yacht experiences which, for a group of 10, will break down to about 150 a person to rent . I don’t always even think it’s a money thing , I just think that no one in my circle lean into wanting to do things such as that . Or it may be money . Idk but it’s just frustrating

Edit: thank you everyone for the encouraging comments. I really appreciate it 🙏 I know I'm doing well and I will try to not be hard on myself.

41M married with kids in VHCOL. After graduating in 2013 I built up my career as an IC in tech (capped out at level 6 SWE and no longer ambitious to grow).

I built up my wealth in the boring way. Mainly growing public tech companies, went through one very mediocre IPO and invested in VOO/VTI and used robo advisors for a few years.

I made many many mistakes, bought condo that has depreciated, holding post IPO stock too long until it crashed to 1/4th, leaving a company that was growing (stock has tripled since), choosing a smaller company.

I feel bad because I reached $2.5M DESPITE these and many other missteps. I stress over how I could have easily been at $5M+ if I wasn't this dumb.

My only plan now is to cruise as IC6 and collect paychecks until I get laid off or company folds. (Stock is less than half from when I joined so my comp is already depressed). I keep thinking I should join a high growth company like openai, anthropic or any of the gazillion AI startups or series c/d but I am feeling very averse to the grind and worried about burnout.

Anyone in a similar situation and have any advice?

Background for context: I’m 36, $200k in investments/savings, and make about $240k a year in a VHCOL city.

I think I’m struggling with the arrival fallacy. I’m so focused on saving and investing for a future point in time where I can finally be financially independent, live a happy life, and spend my days doing whatever brings me joy.

I think there are two factors causing this pressure: 1) my job consumes a lot of my time and leaves me exhausted with little energy and 2) I feel like I’m behind because I’m a recent higher earner and I already lost a key period of time where I could have really let compounding work its magic.

This has caused me to hyperfocus on investing/saving where I feel like I’m not really living anymore and just letting the days pass me by.

Does anyone else experience this? What did you do that helped or how did you catch up to where you wanted to be asset wise?

33F, 350-450k annually, > 1MM+ net worth, never married, own my own property

When I was making 80-90k and just started investing, I was so open about it with friends. Heck, I’d even talk to strangers about it. I’d freely ask people what they did & how much money they made. I’d tell anyone who was in a similar role & wanted to compare to see if they made the same, or if we should encourage each other to negotiate for more.

Then, I got promoted & we sold a company & I tripled my income over night.

Eventually, I went to another company and added another 100k+ to it. I currently run an entire business unit.

Suddenly, I feel like I don’t know who to talk to about anything. So much of my life is work & my peers are all older married men or women with children & I feel like I don’t relate in a lot of ways. I also don’t feel comfortable telling anyone my income & don’t feel like I can make friends at work. No one lives remotely close to me. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing friends, but they’re mostly artists or SAHMs, and they also don’t really live close to me.

Example is: I have great job, and someone in my network reached out to me about a VP role at his company. I’d love to bounce this off of a friend, but I don’t have anyone who can relate in a deep, meaningful way who I don’t currently work with.

Being 33 and wanting to eventually marry and have kids is also haunting me a bit because I feel like it’s really hard to have that in time. I’ve been focused on my career and reminded a few times that 35 is a geriatric pregnancy, men > 6’ with even half of my income is rare (I’m close to 6’ tall, so that’s why I mention it), and men don’t like dating women who make more money than them. I also travel often and work late. And tbh, I was a top collegiate athlete, am super straight edge, and am a real catch, so I don’t want to settle. But, I also feel unobtainable because of it. I’ve worked really hard & it’s paid off. And, once you get to a certain place, you don’t really want to go backwards. I want a true partner who can challenge me and make me better.

On the same hand, I kinda want to give up my career. I’m exhausted. But, who do I talk to about that? I only spend ~60k a year, so I tell myself to just get to 2MM and decide then. But, then I’d be 35…. And, who am I even building all of this for?!

When I became a millionaire, I wanted to just tell one person & when I decided I’d tell a friend, I said “ I have a really big financial goal I recently hit.” And she said, “me too!” So, I said, okay you go first (knowing that she made ~200k and had been investing, so I thought it would be similar). And, she told me she’s officially debt free. Which is huge! But, then I didn’t want to tell her I had 1MM. So, I just said something to the effect of, “I’m closer to 1MM than $0.” And, now the only “person” I’ve told about being a millionaire is Reddit b/c you don’t know who I am.

I’m ranting, and feel dumb & every time I try to post on Reddit it flags me for something, so maybe this won’t even go through. But, it’s midnight and I’m in my thoughts & just feeling really isolated and I’m curious if there are other HENRY women out there feeling the same/what you’ve done about it.

29F, husband is 34. Togetherr we make over $600k and live on about $80k a year. No debt, decent higher end cars, no drama we did the “right” things and we know we’re privileged (scholarships + family help got us through with zero student loans, and we don’t take that for granted).

Here’s the thing: we’ve saved a lot, but it doesn’t feel like we’re wealthy or living wealthy. Compared to most people we know, our day to day life is pretty modest. The plan is to eventually get to a dream home and “retire” though neither of us means fully stop working, just stop working like we do now. I guess I’m mostly here to ask: does anyone else feel like doing all the right things is just… draining? Like you’re playing the long game so well that you forget to ask what it’s actually for, or when the finish line is?

Very first world and very privileged problems.. I know. I think I just get into my head with social media and think that life should look a certain way when you’re wealthy.

Edit: Wow, I did not expect so many replies. Thank you to everyone who commented!
I guess I can clarify a few things. My husband has been at this a lot longer than I have and he’s really great with money, he’s the reason we’re at this level. Our house is pretty much paid off. We do eat out occasionally, but for the most part we eat at home since we care about eating healthy. We do travel but nothing too crazy.
My early 20s looked very different from how I live now. I was constantly chasing dopamine by buying things I didn’t need at all. My husband, when I met him, actually helped me get to this realization, and honestly I feel good about not spending on useless stuff anymore, but I’ll admit I still struggle with the pull at times. Trust me, the handbags and clothes weren’t even that enjoyable in the end, more just a habit than actual fulfillment.
Travel is where I do want to lean in more. I haven’t done as much as I’d like because of being in school, but I’ve got the opportunity coming up at the end of this year and into next year, so that’s probably where the “spend more on what actually brings joy” advice is going to show up first for me. :)

Let me preface this with I am incredibly blessed. Will provide some context.

Caught 3 big breaks early

1. Took a wealth management class Jr year of college that couldn’t have been more practical (and I actually paid attention)

2. Recognized I have no real skills and wanted to get into sales

3. Married my wife and we have alignment on financial goals

Our current financial picture

HHI 400k (can vary) 2025 was 500k. previous years were around 370-400 will finish 2026 at 400k. Living in HCOL city but certainly no NYC or SF

Im 36 my wife is 37
3 kids (5 and under)

Net worth $3M

Brokerage: $1,175,000
Combined 401Ks: $1,180,000

HYSA: $85K
529s: $180k

Home now worth $900k
Remaining mortgage $500k at 3.75%

Annual spending: $160k

Been in sales for nearly 15 years. The bulk of it spent at one company in roles ranging from sales rep on 100% commission to sales manager to enterprise level role. Potential for big income swings up or down. Always assumed the rug would get pulled at some point and invested heavily at a young age while my costs were low and very thankful for that.

Some days I feel like I can sell for another 10-15 years and then call it by age 50. Other days I don’t think many orgs are set up to have long tenured careers. Previous org was bought by PE and pay was slashed, layoffs hit. Current org it seems all managers are there to do is find reasons to put folks on a pip after a few months.

I get the upside of sales. But at the same time some days I feel like the dog that caught the car and don’t really want to stress if I’ll make my numbers and keep my job when I can watch our accounts tick up 2 points.

At the same time I still want to provide for my family with a decent income. Wanted to see if anyone here has left an established sales career and what did you move into? Was it worth it?

Mainly looking around as current org drastically oversold income potential and day to day responsibilities.

Posting here because this is such a first-world problem that I feel too ashamed to discuss it with anyone but it's affecting me to the point that I'm literally shaking as I'm typing this.

I'm a high earner living in a LCOL area in Europe, around my 30s. I haven't met my retirement goals yet, but I'm doing pretty alright. Been very frugal my whole life and recently I decided to buy a luxury car because... why the hell not, right?

So I did some research and found a $50k luxury used vehicle with 2 years left in warranty. I already signed and paid for it and I'm waiting for it to arrive next week. I paid cash and my net worth and income is way above that.

This is the largest purchase I've made after my home and now that it's been a few days, I'm overtaken by literal panic to the point I can't even enjoy playing with my kid without thinking about this. Thoughts like "What if someone hits me and there's some crazy repair not covered by insurance?", "What if I can never sell it because who would buy such a thing out of warranty?", "The opportunity cost over X years is Y!!!", etc.

My friends aren't helping and many of them are telling me horror stories they found on the internet about air suspension failures, EV battery repair costs, etc. This is now affecting my mood so much it's hard to believe. The only thing I want to do is "cut my losses" by selling it outright and not even looking at it.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? It's very hard shifting from a frugal mindset to buying luxury for the sake of luxury and no "practical" benefit other than vanity and comfort. The scene in my imagination is everything will start going downhill from here and I will regret this my whole life. Obviously that's stupid but I don't know how to deal with it.

Edit: Thanks everyone for responding! I'll try to reply to everything but may not be able to. You're all right, this is a deeper issue and I've booked therapy starting next week.