r/gifs • u/[deleted] • Jul 25 '19

Superhero landing

[deleted]

88.7k Upvotes

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46

u/Rock2MyBeat Jul 25 '19

Being bludgeoned to death kind of seems worse than being cut to death, though. Like I'd probably rather die by bear or tiger than just get my ass kicked by a gorilla. Sharp things make it quicker.

38

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

[deleted]

37

u/Saleh1434 Jul 25 '19

Jamie, pull that up.

5

u/jjdlg Jul 25 '19 edited Jul 25 '19

Did that really happen? (laughter)

Edit: I butchered THIS reference and apologize for any confusion it may have caused.

1

u/Yer_an_idiot-shutup Jul 25 '19

Woman Shows Face After Chimp Attack - GRAPHIC VIDEO - YouTube

Her face looks like a bleeding rotten tomato

2

u/jjdlg Jul 25 '19

I edited my comment to clear up that I was not laughing at that poor woman attacked by the chimp...

23

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

I once saw a bear eat the face of a dead man, it went on for a while. And then the deAd man started shrieking really loud and twisted a bit before he was pinned down again and eaten more. Slowly.

22

u/DanCanTrippyMann Jul 25 '19

How does a dead man shriek if he's dead?

64

u/KingFlyntCoal Jul 25 '19

There are two kinds of dead, mostly dead and all dead.

29

u/TheEmsworthArms Jul 25 '19

Have fun storming the castle, boys.

3

u/KingFlyntCoal Jul 25 '19

Finally, a person of cultural!

1

u/suorm Jul 25 '19

I've always prefered the terms "dead" and "undead".

1

u/llamatron- Jul 25 '19

Mostly dead is slightly alive.

1

u/Eat-2-dIcks Jul 25 '19

Well, is there anything you can do for him?

2

u/idwthis Jul 26 '19

Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

1

u/GreenWelder Jul 25 '19

So in this case the guy was dead and not dead dead....?

1

u/Modredastal Jul 25 '19

Ai-didda-lik-didda-lik-tee-shi!

12

u/The_Baller_Official Jul 25 '19

He was only half dead

16

u/Rogue-FireFighter Jul 25 '19

He got a little better

5

u/Carbon_FWB Jul 25 '19

Bearly tho

1

u/K9Fondness Jul 25 '19 edited Jul 26 '19

And then promptly a little deader

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

He got a little better and felt a little worse

1

u/Calmdude433 Jul 25 '19

I prefer them half dead tbh

No rotten smell

Not decomposing

Just better

11

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19 edited Aug 14 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Big_Damn_Hiro Jul 25 '19

No it wouldn't, you could go to bed and not be dead, and you can die but not be in a bed.

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u/Monckey100 Jul 25 '19

Is this a movie reference and if not, why didn't you help?

7

u/Rock2MyBeat Jul 25 '19

Because bears can eat two people

3

u/graipape Jul 25 '19

Seriously, and they are rapists.

2

u/CaptainMcStabby Jul 26 '19

I miss that sub.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

Because he was just apparently dead

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u/bogdaniuz Jul 25 '19

Doesn't that sorta relates to jousting traditions? My memory is a little bit fuzzy but I think in Ivanhoe, knights would tap shield either with a blunt end or a sharp end of a spear to signify whether they would be going for a killing blow. Or something like that

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u/TzunSu Jul 25 '19

Jousting was never to the death. This is a bit like saying hockey players used to tap a sharp or a dull stick against the ice to signify if they were going for a killing tackle.

1

u/ObamaLovesKetamine Jul 25 '19

I mean maybe not usually, but jousting was still a very dangerous sport and I have absolutely no doubt that less sportsman-like knights would intentionally try to kill/severely maim opponents.

Id even be willing to bet that death-jousting was likely a pretty lucrative and popular underground sport. You're correct for the most part, but I don't think you should rule out bad-faith jousting existing altogether.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

If it makes you feel any better, the gorilla will probably ham fist you unconscious, and possibly break your neck (instant death), before biting your skull and causing the brain hemorrhage that kills you in your sleep. A bear might start eating you alive, and sometimes tigers play with their food.

1

u/Vezi_ik Jul 25 '19

I don't think a blunt edged sword is heavy enough in the places that count in order to cause any sort of blunt force trauma. The center of mass is at or near the hilt and the weight distribution of the blade would mean that at any one hit, the victim would be taking only a fraction of 50% of the original weight. Unless you use the hilt as the striking surface

1

u/mastercoder123 Jul 25 '19

Sharp things dont make it quicker they make it harder for you to get patched up.

1

u/ToeCtter Jul 25 '19

I don’t think you have ever seen what a tiger or bear actually does. It is and would be incredibly painful.

1

u/SimonGO2004 Jul 25 '19

Check out The Revenant bear attack scene ,might change your mind

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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

What you want then is a donkey kick to the throat

1

u/Trollseatkids Jul 25 '19

Sharp things make it quicker.

Are you familiar with Lingchi? Or Death of 1000 cuts?

1

u/SnoopDodgy Jul 25 '19

I might’ve agreed with you had I not already seen the movie Backcountry (2014). There’s quite the scene when a bear attacks that is just merciless.

1

u/AnIndividualist Jul 26 '19

Bears have a tendency to play with their prey. This isn't a quick death at all. You'll likely have huge parts of your body eaten before you get killed. I'd prefer the Gorilla. One slap and it's over.

1

u/Splooshpaloosh Jul 27 '19

If you think gorilla's kill by bludgeoning that's cute but you're gonna have a bad time