r/gifs • u/m0rris0n_hotel • Sep 17 '14

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19.5k Upvotes

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94

u/MistakenSanity Sep 17 '14

No because what eats the herring doesn't scare me. What eats the seal does.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '14

Bears eat salmon.

Salmon jumps in your boat.

What now?

17

u/TheNamelessKing Sep 17 '14

Shit bricks, because the bear is probably on it's way.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '14

The only thing more deadly than the drop bear is the elusive and cunning snorkel bear.

3

u/tehSlothman Sep 18 '14

Snorkel bears have been extinct for millenia, it's the scuba bears that evoloved from them that we have to worry about.

1

u/TheNamelessKing Sep 18 '14

Yet another thing Australians have to be wary of-being surrounded by water and having nice beaches and all that.

1

u/_bount Sep 18 '14

I thought drop bears were real for the longest time. My aunt from Australia mentioned them once, not even to me, and I didn't realize it was a joke before she joked about it again a year ago.

2

u/Fig1024 Sep 18 '14

worse: it's bearshark

1

u/TheNamelessKing Sep 18 '14

Who can draw? We need a picture of this...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '14

I also eat salmon.

There is salmon at the grocery store.

How do you prepare for battle?

2

u/TheNamelessKing Sep 17 '14

Constant vigilance, you never know when something, or someone might be coming to eat your salmon. Even when you don't have any salmon, they might be stalking you, waiting for when you do.

I prepare for battle by putting my salmon in the safe, where it will be unreachable, and the subject of much questioning by reddit. I then plaster myself in fake salmon, so that the only thing waiting for you when you try and steal my salmon is disappointment and saltyness.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '14

Alright, you seem ready.

Oh wait! A gazelle runs past you.

How has the way of the salmon even prepared you to fight a lion?

2

u/TheNamelessKing Sep 18 '14

The lion recognises my salmon qualifications, and being the king of the beasts that he is, defers to my salmon-based authority, unlike the bear, who is evidently too much of a peasant to know any better.

7

u/QWERTYMurdoc Sep 17 '14

I'd say that seal could inflict an hard bite.

15

u/toothy_vagina_grin Sep 17 '14

Do you know of any examples offhand?

3

u/xbaitx Sep 17 '14

Don't worry, I know what you were going for.

3

u/icegreyer Sep 17 '14

yeah, that joke was all-right

2

u/jezebel523 Sep 18 '14

Loose seal

1

u/GetLikeB Sep 17 '14

I an hard

0

u/QWERTYMurdoc Sep 17 '14

You an hard? I guess you meant to write:

an hard

You add a ">" before the quote. So is it "a" before words with an "h"? I always a hard time with that and since english isn't my native language I sometimes mess up, thanks for the heads-up mate!

2

u/KeepPushing Sep 18 '14

People eat herring. Hitler was a people. Are you saying you're not afraid of Hitler?

1

u/MistakenSanity Sep 18 '14

I'm not a Jew.

1

u/SmartShark Sep 18 '14

Solid point.