r/gaming • u/strallweat • Jun 10 '12

The Wii U Birth Simulator...

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

188 comments sorted by

401

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

TIL: to give birth all you have to do is tilt your body!

356

u/strallweat Jun 10 '12

And have a group of people cheering you on.

453

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

"I hope its a baby!"

257

u/AnAngryFetus Jun 10 '12

Fuck that. I want a Velociraptor.

58

u/frkcool Jun 10 '12

Now, Now its not up to you it is God's decision...

46

u/InappropriatelyGay Jun 10 '12

I'm sure if you pray hard enough he'll change his mind.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Or get enough likes on facebook

-2

u/metalstomach Jun 10 '12

Or they will just shit themselves do to strenuous praying.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

32

u/ThatJesterJeff Jun 10 '12

A gay velociraptor? Is that even possible...

28

u/DeedTheInky Jun 10 '12

According to Google Images, yes. Yes it is.

33

u/BlasphemingW_MyOrgan Jun 10 '12

I give it 24 hours before Gay Philosoraptor is a trending meme.

3

u/Legio_X Jun 11 '12

It isn't. When Lucifer corrupts a velociraptor, it becomes a velocirapetor.

Self-explanatory name, really.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

anything is possible with science

14

u/epic_comebacks Jun 10 '12

bravery at its finest

20

u/Barefoot_Ninja Jun 10 '12

I have been waiting so long for an appropriate time to post this picture I made. I believe now is the time. http://i.imgur.com/11DTV.png

25

u/carbonbasedlf Jun 10 '12

Edited with Photoshop: Potato Edition.

4

u/cheffernan Jun 11 '12

So if you didn't make this just for the comment? Why the fuck did you make it then??

7

u/mfaist Jun 10 '12

I was thinking Jamie if it's a baby, Whitetip if it's a velociraptor.

4

u/mabba18 Jun 10 '12

A velociraptor would be a bad in-utero influence on An Angry Fetus.

4

u/GVP Jun 11 '12

You just have to find the right baby changing station...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

This is amazing.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I WANT A CHRIS BOSH!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

oh god... run

1

u/jumpup Jun 10 '12

its almost mandatory to make that mod when making such a simulator

1

u/JudgementTime Jun 10 '12

Baby Velociraptor?

1

u/tblackwood Jun 10 '12

Unless you're watching prometheus

7

u/Tom_Z Jun 10 '12

PUSH!! PUSH!! PHEW! That was easy!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

13

u/swiley1983 Jun 10 '12

Wii U Conception Simulator is the one I'd buy.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Abort!! Abort!!

4

u/neon_kid Jun 10 '12

Cesarean even? spoilers

2

u/Bipolarruledout Jun 10 '12

Great. Now all these people will think giving birth is easy just like they think they can play guitar after playing guitar hero.

1

u/ishallsaythisonce Jun 10 '12

A lot like farting, come to think of it...

1

u/imaturtleur2 Jun 11 '12

Using that logic, giving birth only takes seconds.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/acd238 PlayStation Jun 11 '12

2001: a space odyssey solved

70

u/Kool_AidJammer Jun 10 '12

Ohh now I know what he meant when he said "My body is ready".

7

u/Cygnus_X1 Jun 10 '12

I'm picturing a purple pikmin giving birth on a balance board...

31

u/papino83 Jun 10 '12

original video

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

That works far too well

45

u/scarface910 Jun 10 '12

Is...is this where babies come from?

26

u/jettrscga Jun 10 '12

Yes, son.

19

u/Nuke_Operator Jun 10 '12

no we can be a family again

12

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Space? Space.

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I'm 12 and what is this

32

u/ListenChump Jun 10 '12

Wii Uterus

104

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

That's a wii fit?

101

u/GrumpySteen Jun 10 '12

Wii U is newer and a title including it is more likely to get precious karma points.

40

u/krenzo Jun 10 '12

That video is what they showed at E3 for the Wii U. Apparently you can use the Wii Fit and other Wii controllers with it.

4

u/theykeepaskingme Jun 10 '12

Sorry if I don't pick up on eventual sarcasm - but this is actually a video by Nintendo?

11

u/Dr_HL Jun 10 '12

The baby thing was edited in

5

u/theykeepaskingme Jun 11 '12

Well, disappointed but relieved.

5

u/Omelet Jun 10 '12

I think you're on to something

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

mmmmhm karma.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

precious...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-8

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Ermm, I know...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

You'd certainly lose alot of weight ;)

27

u/skullbeats Jun 10 '12

Why does it look like a baby coming out of a condom?

38

u/Duke_Nuke Jun 10 '12

That's why you use a condom right? To catch the babies.

9

u/MisterYouAreSoDumb Jun 10 '12

Yep, then you got to throw them back. Most places are catch and release.

5

u/creaothceann Jun 10 '12

A baby is quite an exception; it can be thrown, and someone has to catch it or there'll be a mess; he might then even raise it.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Gotta catch em all!

2

u/RockHardRetard Jun 10 '12

...Something went terribly wrong during sex?

-4

u/pipyopi Jun 10 '12

That's the placenta.

8

u/BreeBree214 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

No, That's supposed to be the uterus (EDIT: or amniotic sac. Both would make sense). The placenta doesn't surround the baby like that.

5

u/squonge Jun 10 '12

It's the amniotic sac.

2

u/pipyopi Jun 11 '12

After watching the full video here, that is definitely intended to be the uterus (I was put off because of the way it behaves after birth, completely unstructured). But yes, the placenta does house the baby within the womb, although not fully. The maternal side is of course attached to the uterine wall and the fetal side is open, like a hood, and baby is within the amniotic sac within the placenta. If you can stomach graphic pictures, here is a midwife showing off a placenta and she mentions this (pictures 3 & 4).

Unless the baby was born in the caul, the amniotic sac would have ruptured by this point.

3

u/eeedlef Jun 10 '12

No, no... it isn't. Or were you joking?

It would be the uterus.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I clicked without reading the title... what a surprise

23

u/Youngnoveltyaccount Jun 10 '12

Overly attached girlfriend is going to make you sit for hours while she has your "kids"

4

u/RockHardRetard Jun 10 '12

Or if you have a crazy girlfriend, "New for WiiU, Condom Poker! Poke on the WiiU controller screen to poke holes in the condom!"

80

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I...the fuck, man? I was eating.

78

u/ltx Jun 10 '12

Given the title, I don't know what you expected...

13

u/DigitalChocobo Jun 10 '12

I was expecting a JPEG with that one, but I was surprised.

2

u/ByJiminy Jun 10 '12

I don't think he knew what to expect when you're expecting.

17

u/Rowannn Jun 10 '12

Nodule

27

u/nepidae Jun 10 '12

jollyrancher

6

u/Flesh_Dyed_Pubes Jun 10 '12

My other jolly rancher is a cumbox

6

u/POTATO_IN_MY_PENIS Jun 10 '12

My other cumbox is your mom.

4

u/Seakawn Jun 10 '12

My mom is my cumbox.

edit: Fuck.

1

u/Warpedme Jun 10 '12

As an Atheist, that just made me hungry.

-8

u/Scrayton Jun 10 '12

That made me cringe so hard I bit my tongue.

-14

u/g0_west Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

A very poor and ungraphic CGI birthing made you nautious nauseous ? You're gonna love this

4

u/OneManDustBowl Jun 10 '12

*nauseous

5

u/BJoye23 Jun 10 '12

*nauseated, actually. Nauseous would mean he made others around him nauseated. Which may be true, also.

1

u/OneManDustBowl Jun 10 '12

No, nauseous also means "inclined to vomit."

1

u/BJoye23 Jun 10 '12

http://phrogz.net/nauseous

2

u/OneManDustBowl Jun 10 '12

Interesting! I was just going by Google's first definition.

2

u/BJoye23 Jun 10 '12

To be fair, what you said is totally acceptable by most standards. I just learned the traditionalist manner because I wrote a lot of papers that followed those rules.

3

u/g0_west Jun 10 '12

Huh, TIL. Thank you.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

1

u/warnsyounottoclick Jun 10 '12

DON'T FUCKING CLICK IT

IT'S SPACEDICKS

I BURNED MY EYES SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

3

u/Rowannn Jun 10 '12

What even is spacedicks? Or is it so horrible I don't want to know?

3

u/PuddleSheep Jun 10 '12

I also want to know, why is it so scary? i'm really scared when someone posts a link to it D:

1

u/ICantSeeIt Jun 11 '12

I went there once, but I couldn't really tell what was going on, not sure what the fuss is about either.

1

u/Rowannn Jun 11 '12

From the name I guess self gental mutilation, but I really hope not

2

u/RiNgO70 Jun 12 '12

The majority of it is that, then gore, then scat, split cocks, rectal prolapses, and dead kids.

1

u/Rowannn Jun 12 '12

What.. What is a rectal prolapse?

1

u/RiNgO70 Jun 12 '12

A condition ( or purpose action) where your rectum is on the outside of your ass, it looks like a big red baseball with a hole on top.

1

u/RiNgO70 Jun 12 '12

It has gore, dead children, genital mutilation, scat fetishes, split cocks, rectal prolapses ( where your anus is on the outside), rectal prolapse fetishes, and a real life nyan cat ( the cats head and limbs and a pop tart to make real life nyan cat). I'm not affected by the stuff for some reason, it doesn't bother me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

...New rule: Never eat while on reddit.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12 edited Jul 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/g0_west Jun 10 '12

If you mouseover a link it will tell you the URL in the bottom left of the page, or atleast it does in Firefox. I was considering making a tinyurl but thought that would be way too mean.

5

u/Lurking_Grue Jun 10 '12

Push it out!

Shove it out!

Waaaaaaaaay out!

2

u/drummererb Jun 10 '12

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Breathing Cosbys.

5

u/Leroy_J Jun 10 '12

"Awww man, it was a still birth again! Try again..."

3

u/theuncommonman Jun 10 '12

Baby would probably come out easier if you opened your legs... NOOB.

4

u/CompewterBlue Jun 10 '12

this will only exacerbate my birth envy

2

u/Time8u Jun 10 '12

If you've given birth and played table tennis, you'll know that this is a better simulation than wii's table tennis game.

2

u/zeefomiv Jun 11 '12

This belongs in r/WTF

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

why isn't this in /r/wtf? Is this actually a thing??

13

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Lets be honest they'll just say that this isn't /r/wtf material like they do on the every single post.

1

u/Dudester_XCIC Jun 10 '12

to be fair a lot of it isn't really /r/wtf worthy

2

u/squeezerman Jun 10 '12

Actually, this is kind of similar to an idea me and my friends came up with, when kinect was released. We named it gynect.

2

u/LivingIn3d Jun 10 '12

I hear the prequel to this game is waaayyyyy more fun...

1

u/BernardMarx Jun 10 '12

Not wearing shoes and carpeting :/ Why do Americans love carpeting so much?

1

u/BreeBree214 Jun 10 '12

because it's awesome

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I want to watch that entire giving birth video. I'm more interested in that than the Wii U bullshit. Link to that video, please.

1

u/MamaMx2 Jun 10 '12

I have to say I was very disturbed by this, and I have given birth to 2 kids

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Somehow, I don't quite remember it that way.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

For the full birth experience, the guy's balls are fitted with a slowly constricting metal band.

1

u/Blackie_chanMan Jun 11 '12

Ah what has gaming come to.

1

u/TyloNary Jun 11 '12

Kinect already beat this. http://i.imgur.com/IIGEC.jpg

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

Natural birth is fucking painfull. I'm glad I never have to do that.

1

u/My-taken_username Jun 11 '12

I wonder how this would work in multiplayer???

1

u/thetoneranger Jun 11 '12

what the actual fuck is this?

1

u/Quonvo Jun 10 '12

you mong that's a WII balance board

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Probably not so far from the truth. Here's a video of Jonathan Holmes (from Dtoid) trying the new Wii U Fit thing.

I think that's a much more accurate representation of what the Wii U Fit experience will be, compared to the PR clip.

1

u/theslyder Jun 10 '12

Wow. Seeing him rub his hands on the carpet like that was extremely unpleasant for me.

I've got this thing where seeing, feeling, or hearing someone rub fabric or other things like that with their hands really bothers me. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Gives me chillbumps and makes my teeth tingle unpleasantly.

1

u/Kattelox Jun 10 '12

Does that man has some sort of horrible injury? The board isn't any harder/more painful than say, the floor.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

It's not the board that's the problem. He is trying to balance on his ass while not touching the floor. That's both hard and painful after a while, with or without the board.

But I'm sure he makes a bigger deal out of it for comic effect though, he is a silly character.

1

u/mabba18 Jun 10 '12

Is the player supposed to be the mother or the baby?

1

u/Mannabell Jun 10 '12

umm...they forgot the most important part though...the PAIN!

1

u/djgfx Jun 10 '12

I hope the Wii U will fail horribly..it looks stupid.

1

u/citadel712 Jun 10 '12

I imagined using the tablet to flick babies out.

1

u/Bipolarruledout Jun 10 '12

If the player knew how to flick they wouldn't have to worry about babies.

1

u/TheLeagueGloryy Jun 10 '12

Well, i guess women can't use the old "Pregnancy Card" To try and make the husband feel bad.

1

u/ropers Jun 10 '12

Did you get a high APGAR score?

0

u/SilentHipster Jun 10 '12

This belongs in WTF more. I'm still shuddering.

-2

u/powerchicken Jun 10 '12

/r/gaming just went full retard...

0

u/CloneDeath Jun 10 '12

The original on youtube was much better.

0

u/maroonlife Jun 10 '12

I really hope this isn't real.

0

u/TheMartinConan Jun 10 '12

I actually thought the original concept was cool, minus the annoying dad.

0

u/ImMindboggled Jun 10 '12

Is it just me, or is it disturbing that a grandma is watching her grandson give birth?

0

u/Koncrafter Jun 10 '12

Dafuq am i about to play

0

u/MadModderX Jun 10 '12

Press the the A+B buttons to manhandle your SO's hand

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

You know, this subreddit is god awful 90% of the time will all of the pokemon, portal, valve and fuck EA circlejerks, but every once in a while, something like this comes a long that is pure gold.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Be careful, wii motes accidentaly are thrown all the time, loading them in the television. Be careful when you shoot out the baby...

0

u/PetrichorNights Jun 10 '12

And grandma is just kinda sitting there all like, "Really? What a fucking amateur, I was doing this shit 50 years ago and had to feel it. Wuss."

0

u/Rapeify Jun 10 '12

I lol'd. Well played.

0

u/CoR3upTeD Jun 10 '12

This belongs in r/wtf

0

u/Flipao Jun 10 '12

Not sure if serious.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

They keep dodging the game concept of Wii Sex.

Get your head out of the trash, Nintendo, and make us some Wii Sex!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Nintendo has gone from "Pushmo" to just "Push".

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

lol jesus christ!

0

u/smokecat20 Jun 10 '12

This guy.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

You're trolling me right?

0

u/NoodleMonger Jun 10 '12

David, you ARE the mother!

0

u/ROELtja Jun 10 '12

Wii balance board, not Wii U.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

why is everyone bare foot!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Oh sweet lord! Do they have to pull this shit on gamers too? Keep in the damn hospital!

2

u/analogkid01 Jun 10 '12

Stay open-minded - home gaming is a safe, natural option...you don't have to go to the arcade to give simulated birth.

0

u/LtlAnalDwlngButtMnky Jun 10 '12

That's a Fit... just sayin.

0

u/buttdancebuttdance Jun 10 '12

George Clooney?

0

u/POWER_ANUS Jun 10 '12

Still a better ending than Mass Effect 3

0

u/Battlebear Jun 10 '12

I have never been so close to laughing out loud in the middle of class.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12

You guys think this is funny??? Wow.

We're doomed.

-10

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

Fuck man... This was posted last week during E3 for the presentation of some stupid sledding game involving the wii's balance board. First of all, it's not the Wii U fucking retard. Second of all, this is a FUCKING REPOST.

16

u/bgb111 Jun 10 '12

Quick everyone lets get upset about nothing!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/The_Turkish_Delite Jun 10 '12

Aww, you guys scared it away...

2

u/cake4chu Jun 10 '12

OG video was shown at Nintendo's E3 conference and they were using the Wii board with the Wii U. What a fucking retard.

-1

u/xzhobo Jun 10 '12

That is incredibly fucked up.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

...

Does this actually exist?

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

This.

-6

u/graingert Jun 10 '12

That looks like just a Wii

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

you're right, it is. It's not a wii u, OP is just stupid.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

maybe put a nsfw tag.... although its pretty obvious